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To be or not to be...single


confusedexgirl

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Hello I need help on what to do in my situation. It all started when I broke up with my boyfriend of 1 and 1/2 years. We were fighting far too much and the relationship was getting unhealthy. He made me feel like nothing and always controlled me. Once I broke up with him something in me changed. I just felt completely numb (emotionally anyway...). Anyways after I broke up with him I went out with a guy named Ben. I’m not sure why, I just did like a spur of the moment action. Ben made the thought of the heart break go away and always made me feel great. So of course I was naturally drawn to him. Fast forward to now. I started to notice that I didn’t love him like he loved me. I felt like I had rushed into the relationship with him and discovered that I wasn't really attracted to him and his personality changed. He started acting judgmental and made me feel very stupid. He's always tell ME what I thought or felt as if he actually knew or I couldn't think or feel for myself . I went out with him for about 11 months then broke up with him. Weeks later this other guy (Toby) started getting interested in me and we sort of had a fling until I realized I didn’t like him more than a friend. Now this guy named Jack started talking to me again. I've known him for years. He has liked me since before I went out with my first boyfriend (previously mentioned). I never really thought about going out with him. Somehow he was always friend zoned because other guys would ask me out before he had the chance to. I guess i’ve always had a thing for him. Not sure yet. Anyway so we’ve been talking and I think he might like me. What should I do? Be single? Try with Jack?

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Be single. Take your time.

i know its hard when you are given so many choices of guys at the same time.

but this is why you shouldn't worry that they may go "out of love" or "will not be attracted to you" anymore.

because, even if they do, new ones will come up.

 

You sounded like you hadn't had your own single time, and ur wholeself in finding who your true feeling belongs to.

Break up. Be single.

Still hang out with any of the guys, whichever makes you more comfortable, but don't go to relationship for now.

Tell them you need your time, you just break up, and you want to be serious in being who you are.

 

if Jack is really the guy you'd been expecting,

even a month or 2 from now, he will still like you.

He will still wait for you.

He will still ask you out.

Don't rush things up.

If he doesn't appreciate your decision of being single for awhile, THEN HE ISNT THE ONE

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You reaaaallly need to be single for a bit. You sound like you're comparing these guys to each other and like you're just considering dating them by instinct, like because they're interested you have to go out with them or something. And you've started to realise you have made some bad choices in the past so now you are going for any guy who seems nice and likes you. I am guessing you are quite young. I was like this when I was younger I think and I have a friend who's quite young and she's exactly like this. She's very happy right now because she's with a guy who's not a psycho so she thinks it's perfect etc but she actually can't be alone. She was thinking through people she could date that she knew as soon as she was single because she couldn't stand it. She's now gone out with most people in the group she hangs out in and some of her exes are insane but she still doesn't stop responding to texts or block them, she just talks about it.....really. Just have a little break. If they really like you they're not gonna be mean about that. Pushy men=bad men. I ended up just sleeping with so many bad men and having relationships with them after I split with my long term bf when I was younger and it never ended, I just kept looking for the next guy to take away the lonliness and then I ended up with a really emotionally/mentally abusive guy who has really traumatised me. Only now am I starting to stop caring what guys think of me so much and care more about being myself. Live for you, not for these men. That's not right.

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