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Made effort to win him back then i go 2months NC


Geekinthepinkx

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Hi i hope people will read this post, my ex bf and i had a great relationship for 4 years, he is my clyde and i was his bonnie my partner in crime. We broke up and he started dating his co worker, after 3days of the break up.. I didn't curse him, yell at him bad mouth him from other people i just isolated the problem because i don't want people thinking that he cheated, he's a jerk etc. i keep understanding his situation on why he did it, i forgiven him i told that. . 1 week after the break i made efforts to get him back, gave him the anniversary gift i was saving up for him. A scarp book of us and lastly a video of me about 100 reasons why i love him

 

After he watched the video he started to blame me, practically telling me it was my fault.. I never argue back. He said maybe he was just confused, regret the idea of courting her without healing first or trying to fix us, saying he's not into her, that i should hive him time and thats what he wants from me, and he cannot break up with her..

 

After our confrontation i started doing NC and keep on communicating with his mom, which he always ask me to her

 

Do you guys think i have great chance getting him back after i made the efforts and practically dropping form the face of the earth after?

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I want to start off by saying that i think he's being disrespectful to you by putting all the blame on you, it's never one persons fault for a break up and he's acting very selfish trying to say it was all you. I don't think you should be in contact with his mom because it'll ultimately only result in you hearing about him which will continually make you want him back/ hurt you growth. He made the decision to break up with you and you have to do what he's obviously incapable of doing and be respectful of that decision. You need to give up on hoping anything you do can make him come back, he needs to decide on his own if that's what he wants but if i were in your shoes i'd never take back a person like him.

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From my point of view, no. I've read your topics and I'm yet to understand why you're chasing this man with such a fierce will. You are young, gorgeous (assumin that's you on the profile picture) and you know what you want. If he can't see that and appreciate that, I honestly don't believe he wants anything at all with you ever again.

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The things you made for him are very cute, but honestly it seems desperate to a man. Men always want what they can't have, so when you are running to him like that, it's a huge turn off. Also it's been 2 months, if he hasn't contacted you by then, I don't think he wants you back. You need to cut off contact with his mother too, because no offense, but if he knows you are talking to his mother, he's going to start blaming irrational thoughts on you such as saying you are stalking him or obsessed with him, ect. He's going to end up feeding on all your attempts to get him back, and will get a rise the more you do it, and keep bringing you down harder each time. So the best thing to do, is just cut him out of you life completely, including his mom. He'll wonder why you stopped, and if he's still interested he will come back. But honestly you are young, and I'm assuming he is young too.. 4 years is a long time for a young couple to be together. He is a guy, and guys when they are young want to date around and experience other women before they settle down. If that's what he wants, let him have it.. and go find someone who wants what you want. Or better yet, be single and experience the things you can do single that you couldn't do before!

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I want to start off by saying that i think he's being disrespectful to you by putting all the blame on you, it's never one persons fault for a break up and he's acting very selfish trying to say it was all you. I don't think you should be in contact with his mom because it'll ultimately only result in you hearing about him which will continually make you want him back/ hurt you growth. He made the decision to break up with you and you have to do what he's obviously incapable of doing and be respectful of that decision. You need to give up on hoping anything you do can make him come back, he needs to decide on his own if that's what he wants but if i were in your shoes i'd never take back a person like him.

 

 

He blamed me for all the little things we fought, he cannot accept to himself that he cheated on me. The new girl hes with is the opposite of what he like in a woman.. Im just giving him time as he said that what he needs, let him do his thing and learn from his mistakes, im his 1st serious relationship so im thinking maybe this is a mid life crisis and also peer pressure from his not so good co-workers

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From my point of view, no. I've read your topics and I'm yet to understand why you're chasing this man with such a fierce will. You are young, gorgeous (assumin that's you on the profile picture) and you know what you want. If he can't see that and appreciate that, I honestly don't believe he wants anything at all with you ever again.

 

Thanks twidom for your advice, yes thats me on my profile pic i have a lot of faith in him and trust,i did not think less of him and keep on understanding on why he did this. Before the break up he was planning our future together and thinking getting wed last december.

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I understand you vix8 he hasn't contacted me because his new girl likes to snoop around, checking his messages (even replying), accessing his facebook acct and changing his profile photo with the one shes in it. When i heard about that my ex texted me saying that "you know i do not use my facebook anymore and updating it" - which is true, he isnt the type who likes to post alot. I started ignoring her mom and I havent talk to her, lately because i know im just hurting myself and i dont want my ex to be updated with my life, i would him like him to think that im dead or eaten by a flesh eating virus

 

after ignoring her mom, he started to get his friends to come by my place and ask me how i was. Im 23 and he is 25 years old i was his 1st gf and he was my 1st bf, also i assumed he would like to explore if the grass is greener on the other side, so i let him do his thing, but its hard. He is currently dating a single mom who likes to have one night stands with other guys, she practically lurking for my ex and i to break up, and even called me just to say that i should stay away from him. Hes not ex type, right now shes dragging him to bars getting drunk all night and smoking (he hates going to bars).

 

I wanted good things for him even though were not together, just to see him successful, healthy and being the best version of himself is fine for me... But NOOOoooo.. I heard that he is awfully thin and his cheekbones are protruding... He let himself go .. Is this depression vix8?

 

 

The more you rely on him the more desperate you become and desperation is the opposite of attraction for men..

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This is your first relationship and your first breakup so you haven't yet experienced letting go from someone you love and moving on. But that's what needs to happen here.

 

Right now you're in denial. You're telling yourself this breakup is only temporary and that his new girlfriend is just a rebound. But this is only going to keep you from healing.

 

You can continue to post your story over and over, but the answers you get will always be the same: it's time to move on.

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This is your first relationship and your first breakup so you haven't yet experienced letting go from someone you love and moving on. But that's what needs to happen here.

 

Right now you're in denial. You're telling yourself this breakup is only temporary and that his new girlfriend is just a rebound. But this is only going to keep you from healing.

 

You can continue to post your story over and over, but the answers you get will always be the same: it's time to move on.

 

Insanity- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

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