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I don't know if this is good for me


notgoingthere

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My boyfriend broke up with me three months ago. I didn't expect it. We weren't having problems. I just think he wasn't as into me as I was into him. We were together for about eight months. We agreed to remain friends. We also agreed not to talk about who we might be seeing or anyone new coming in our lives, because it would just be too hard (especially for me). At least for awhile.

 

I wasn't happy with the situation but you can't really make anyone love you. If it's not meant to be, it's best to just let it go. Right? That's is what I ran with. The friendship has gone along pretty great. We talk in some kind of way at least once a day. Either by phone, text or email. I haven't seen him in person and I think that is for the best.

 

Before I go any further, let me just say that I don't want him back. I'm the kind of person that if you give up on me and our relationship, I'm pretty much done. I don't believe in do overs. That probably sounds cold but it just is the way I am. I tried once to go back to an ex and it was a really horrible experience. People break up for a reason and after that, I don't think there is much incentive to try again.

 

Today, he asked me for some relationship advice. This bothered me. I immediately teared up and felt slighted.

 

Now, I'm not completely innocent in this situation. After we broke up, I went back to a fwb a few times just to help me over the breakup. It was nothing serious nor was it a potential of a relationship. I didn't share that with him because I felt it was none of his business. I feel the same about him, whatever he does with anyone else is none of my business. We are not a couple anymore.

 

Why did that hurt so damn much then? There is no chance of us ever being together. The only thing we have is our friendship and a friend should be able to give advice without feeling hurt or taking it personally. I tried to give advice the best I could but shortly into the conversation I started getting defensive and pissy. I abruptly ended the conversation and told him I didn't want to talk anymore.

 

Am I being insensitive or is he?

 

Does the friendship after a relationship really ever work? I feel like I need to cut all ties afterall because this is just too much. I don't like feeling like this. I can't help to think that it's unhealthy and I'm obviously not going to be able to move on if we are contacting each other every day and I get my panties in a wad every time he talks about relationships (about other potential prospects).

 

Anyone ever deal with this?

 

Am I just being a total or what?

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dont worry about it, as far as the post goes you do need to break away from being friends and probably go into NC... the sad truth is he decided his life would be better without you in it, otherwise he wouldn't of broken up with you if there was a chance you'd never talk again...

 

edit: and the only way friendship works if neither of you are forcing the friendship, which you clearly are...

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There you go girl! you know what's going on.

You are not an idiot. You just can't lie to yourself and your own feeling.

You probably still love him and thought perhaps if you two are friends again. He will realize you are a great girl and take you back.

But you are right, sometimes you can't change the truth.

sure. get over him. get your own happy ending.

your real guy who can replace him.

 

then you can talk to him again.

He obviously have no mutual feeling and being "insensitive" no, he is "UNAWARE"

that you still have feeling for him. hence why he thought everything IS FINE.

This is nobody's fault.

Friendship perhaps meant to be there. WE NEVER KNOW.

but clearly both of you have different intention in THIS FRIENDSHIP

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