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I need some help, please-what does he want?


hey

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Hi! So.. My boyfriend broke up with me after 3 years because of distance, fighting, routine but nothing very important. Now, after 2 weeks of being broken up and not seeing eachother we met up. I don't know what to understand: he cried, we both did, he hugged me, we kissed, we laughed, he said he loves me BUT he still has a very hard time deciding if we should get back together. We went out for coffee yesterday, today and we are going out tomorrow too. He says he really wants to start talking again and he said 'we will probably get back together' but I just don't get why it is so hard for him to decide already. He also said that when we are together it's great.. He is scared that it won't work and says he also kinda wants to be on his own, not too necessarily be with other girls but just too feel more independent. I am leaving town tomorrow and I don't know what to do, I am scared of giving him an ultimatum because I don't want to push him into saying no just because he is not sure enough to say yes to getting back together, but I also can't keep doing this. I love him so much, these two weeks have been the worst of my life, a living hell he knows all this, he knows how I feel and yet he keeps saying 'he doesn't know what he wants' but saying he loves me in the same time. I don't want to become obsessive but I feel I am going crazy.

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He wants to be free to date other girls, but he doesn't want to hurt you by telling you the truth.

 

He's not *confused* about his feelings.... he's *conflicted* because he's afraid of walking away from you -- a sure thing -- and stepping out into the unknown. He says "maybe someday" as a way of hedging his bets and keeping you around as a safety net in case it doesn't work out with anyone else.

 

But if you can't move so that you're no longer long distance, I'd assume that his ambivalence is just a way of softening the blow. Once you get back home, I'd expect him to end things for good.

 

I'm sorry, I know that isn't what you want to hear. It's just my opinion.

 

Here's a guide that will help you: link removed

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