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Losing Faith in life at the moment


yellowclaw1030

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Hi Everyone,

 

So I want to start off with I don't think I would ever take my life but I have been very down lately. Everything seems to be all piling up at the same time and im seriously wondering whats the point in life, im tired of it all.

 

I was dating a girl for just under a year who I feel was my soul mate and she told me the same. We discussed marriage, getting our own place, kids, everything. Then she hit a point in her life were everything was going real bad, her mom was terrible alcoholic who was put into rehab, her cat died, and then her grandmother died all with in a month and to top it all off she didn't feel comfortable at my place because I have issues at home with my parents (her and my mom did not get along). During all this I was the only one there for her, not even her own family was. I helped her clean up her and her moms apartment, doing basic carpentry work, getting rid of a bug issue and mold issue, cleaning, etc. She ended up getting really distant and not showing physical affection which caused some fights, then I found out after new years she cheated on me, so we broke up with her apologizing for everything saying she messed up but needs time to work on herself and she is not sure about us since we drifted apart and fought a lot. And now I find out she is already with another person.

 

In addition to being the only one there for a person just to have them walk out of your life, my situation at home with my parents just keeps getting worse to the point where Im currently living in my grandparents basement away from them and also my friends, I work fulltime but barely make enough to pay for my college loans and cant even go to a psych for the depression im going through at the moment because it would immediately disqualify me for a job im trying to get which is sort of dream job to me. I came here to get this out because I have tried talking to my friends but they just tell me things will get better and im sure it will in time but they don't understand.

 

Im just done with life I don't get the point anymore, im tired of heart break, and being a good person. I always do everything I can for the people around me but it just seems to keep biting me in the back but im a selfless person and just keep doing it anyway. Nothing seems to work out my favor.

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You sound like a lovely person, and you shouldn't change or give up. Things will get better for you I'm sure. My life is awful at the moment but I try to tackle each day at a time and find something positive to keep going today it was walking my dog in the fresh air and my little boy giving me a hug when I met him. It doesn't get easier but it's keeping me going perhaps you could try that. How do you get on with your grandparents perhaps speak to them or message me i can't do much but I ll always listen. Thinking of you and sending you my love x x

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi there, First off I want to say that I'm sorry for your heartbreak and recent disappointments. I think I can explain your situation with your ex, though.( Expect to be still be melancholy for a while missing her. This is natural and what you should feel.) She simply got scared off and could not invest herself emotionally, especially after having recent losses in her life. She would rather back away and hurt you than experience the reverse. This gives her some element of control and feels much safer. Plus she may not feel worthy of that level of happiness. This really isn't about you, or anything you did or didn't do. My suggestion is to find someone who is a good place in her life and can let herself fall in love and become emotionally invested... someone who expects to be in a committed and happy relationship. There is plenty of time to find the right one. A young guy has plenty of waters to fish from. You sound grown up, having a job and college debt. I think it is time to redefine your relationship with your parents - adult to adult. At this point you have your values, limits, interests, and so on. It is time to make them understand who you are. If they don't agree with your choices then limit your conversations to things where there is common ground. In other words, don't behave like a kid (e.g. reacting or defending yourself on everything they saw). Parents are far from perfect. You need to try to accept and look past their flaws, too. If you can't get it sorted out, get on with your own life for a while. People and circumstances change. Family counselling may be an option just to help to improve communication (remove the drama). Life is hard, but think of all this as background noise. There can be worse challenges like serious illnesses, living in a war zone, etc. My advice is to focus your energy on your dreams and what you want out of life. Enjoy the small moments you can. Take care and let us know how you do.

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