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I'm 30yo male and I can't get hard... HELP!


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ok i'm a healthy 30 male, I've been with my gf for about 6 months. We have had an awesome sexual relationship... until about 2 weeks ago. I havent been able to get/keep an erection. I've even tried masturbating but even that doesn't seem to do anything for me. My girl has some confidence issues already, she doesn't think she's "pretty enough" for me. I am very attracted to her and "build" her up all the time. Now throw in the fact that i can't get hard when trying to get busy and she is now convinced that it's her fault. I love this girl and i don't want this to destroy us. I want to go to a doc but money is a HUGE issue atm. Any advice? willing to try almost anything diet, exercise, supplements.

BTW i'm not gay, not overweight, don't have high blood pressure...

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Hmm...there's a pill that begins with a V. *Maybe* you've heard of it? lol, Viagra. If you can't get that, there's plenty of male vitamins out there that can help, available at retail stores such as CVS, Rite Aid, GNC.


But why do you think you've been having trouble getting hard lately? Been stressed/depressed? (Do you watch porn at all? Doesn't that get you hard?)


I remember someone commenting on a Madonna's Erotica music video, "She could put Viagra out of business!" (Just a funny thought, lol.)

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Do you get morning wood?


If you're really stressed out, that can affect a lot of things. While you haven't said anything about the cause of your stress, is it something you can manage? I mean, is there something that you could do to relax? Breathing exercises, exercise in general. Taking 15-30 minutes to just be quiet with no distractions?


If you're young and otherwise healthy, odds are it's a combination of stress and mindset. If you're upset that it didn't happen, and it keeps not happening, that becomes part of the pressure "it's not going to happen!" You need to take a break and relieve some of the pressure, then let things happen naturally before you go looking for drugs to fix it.

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OK, if you haven't had any morning wood in a while, do what you can do save up to see a doctor, or do research to see if there's a free clinic nearby that you could go to. If the stress you're under is massive, that will affect everything. But, morning wood is generally an indicator of overall health, it's one of the signs doctors are supposed to look for in ED when men are older. I'm not saying there's something wrong, but it never hurts to get medical advice when you are feeling "off" and regular check ups are never a bad idea.


As for what you can do to convince your girl that she's not the cause, you could show her this thread or, ask her to help you find a doctor because you're concerned. Once she sees that you're making an effort to get medical help, she should start to understand that it's not her. I don't know how old your GF is, but it's pretty common for women when they're younger to not understand these kinds of things and blame themselves.

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Ah, interesting question. We're in the middle of a course at med school doing this right now.


This problem can be either psychological or physical, or a combination of both. What do you think it is? And what are the reasons for thinking that.

When was the last time you had an erection? What has changed since then?

Are there situations of erectile dysfunction in the family that you know of?



You say that masturbating doesn't seem to 'do' anything for you. I am presuming you mean that you don't get an erection whilst trying to masturbate? Or do you mean something else.

Are there ANY situations in which you CAN achieve an erection?



Do you get aroused? What happens psychologically and physically when you get aroused?





First off, have a good chat with your partner about this. Tell her that it's not her, because you even have problems masturbating yourself.

Possibly ask her to come with you to the doctor. It will help strengthen your bond. And the problem might become clearer to her.


I don't know what your BMI is and or how much you exercise. But exercising regularly will help achieve and maintain a good state of health in every area. Including sexuality. Primarily by maximizing blood flow to different areas of the body (heart, muscles etc.).

And it could also boost your testosterone levels, which will help your sexual function.


In any event - seeing the doctor about this is highly advised.

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