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So I kissed this guy..

maccerz

By maccerz
in Dating Advice

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maccerz Enthusiast

maccerz

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Hey everyone! So this is more of a ranting thread than anything else! I kissed this guy whos friends with my friend a few weeks ago on a night out and ended up going back to his house (we didnt have sex or anything, but that was only because I didn't want to) The next day he was very nice and dropped me home etc, I had no interest in him at all and I assumed he felt the same cause neither of us got in contact with one another. Anyway last night my friend texted me saying that she out with some of the guy's friends last night and it turns out he has a girlfriend... I know it's not my fault cause I didn't have a clue but I can't help feeling HORRIBLE about it! I hate the idea of being someone who helped a f****** idiot like that cheat on his girlfriend! I'm so upset about it

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maccerz Enthusiast

maccerz

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You have no idea if he was with the girlfriend at the time or how exclusive they are. It's not your fault.

 

According to his friends they've been together a few months. Ugh why are people so s***, if you wanna go out and kiss random people then dont be in a relationship, it's very simple!

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Batya33 Grand Master

Batya33

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There are many people who behave this way

 

Maybe in your experience, not in mine -but I'm not sure why all this negative ranting/negative energy is helpful for you - do you want to meet someone available? Having that kind of negative mindset could be a real turn off.

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maccerz Enthusiast

maccerz

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Maybe in your experience, not in mine -but I'm not sure why all this negative ranting/negative energy is helpful for you - do you want to meet someone available? Having that kind of negative mindset could be a real turn off.

 

No I'm actually very lucky it's never happened to me. Just from what's happened with a lot of people I know recently. And no I'm not looking to meet anyone at the moment, just trying to have fun and be happy on my own for the time being

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Batya33 Grand Master

Batya33

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No I'm actually very lucky it's never happened to me. Just from what's happened with a lot of people I know recently. And no I'm not looking to meet anyone at the moment, just trying to have fun and be happy on my own for the time being

 

Gotcha. I'm sorry that it has happened to a lot of people you know recently. That's not the same as "many people" meaning many people in the world -that's just a recent thing that happened to people you know.

 

My guess is that it also has to do with the environments in which they are meeting these men (like bars/clubs/parties where there is a lot of alcohol, etc.). Stuff happens but all that matters is your reaction -you can choose to be negative about it and generalize about how it's "many" people or you can choose to be positive plus realistic. That means, you start with the premise that people have good intentions and you proceed at a reasonable pace. Kissing someone you just met and going back to his house (even if he is a friend of a friend) is a very fast way to interact with someone new. Maybe go on a few dates in public with someone before really hooking up. A man who has a girlfriend would not be able to take you on dates in public except in rare situations (i.e. they are long distance or she is away for a long time -even then he would probably choose out of the way places so you'd get a clue).

 

You did nothing wrong as far as helping him cheat but if you want to meet more available men I'd do the dating in public thing -then, even if you kiss on the first date, at least you know he's available to take you out in public.

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maccerz Enthusiast

maccerz

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Yeah you'e right, just from my experience many people whos relationships have ended recently have ended in very similar circumstances which is a real pity! Oh yeah I'm really not looking to meet anyone at the moment, just having a bit of fun etc! I had no interest in this guy at all, if i hadn't been drunk I definitively wouldn't have kissed him, it was just an easy ego boost (as sad as it sounds) When I'm ready to start properly dating etc again I wont be hoping to find him in a club haha (though that's actually where I met my last bf and that was a great relationship!) But I hear what you're saying, better off steering clear of that kinda situation if you're hoping for anything more than just a kiss on a night out! Thanks for the advice!!

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