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Girls want a pretty face...


Dougie_D

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True or not?

 

I really believe my downfall is my face. Does any other guy agree, disagree? Am I just too hard on myself?

 

Is it the way I talk? I'm not skinny but I'm not fat. I don't know why a girl couldn't go for a guy like me?! I will treat her like a queen!!!

 

Just so sick of looking at myself in general. I'll send people a video of myself if they private message me.

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I hope you're not taking your charm skills from your avatar character, if you are then maybe that's the problem

You don't need to gain the approval of others to see if you're "pretty" or not, I would like to think the girl of your dreams isn't that shallow. Maybe the lack of confidence you have for yourself reflects outwards or perhaps you are seeming too desperate when you approach women.

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It's your lack of self acceptance and lack of self confidence, not your looks. You aren't comfortable in who you are--how can anyone else be expected to be comfortable if you aren't? That's not something that is fair to put off onto others.

 

If you can't love and accept yourself for who you are and how you were made, then do not expect anyone else to do that heavy lifting for you.

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Some people just think I'm weird...and it's majority of women. It really bothers me. How can attract a female when they judge me that quick?!

 

that's not true because you have not encountered "a majority of women".

 

then it's your lack of self confidence--your threads are evidence enough of that.

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There's nothing wrong with your face, Dougie.

 

But you're 33 years old and you're still doing the things most people stop doing in their early 20s to meet women. And you don't seem to read social cues very well - I think that's your big barrier, here. And why people might seem put off.

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There's nothing wrong with your face, Dougie.

 

But you're 33 years old and you're still doing the things most people stop doing in their early 20s to meet women. And you don't seem to read social cues very well - I think that's your big barrier, here. And why people might seem put off.

 

That's because they probably met a woman already. Please elaborate if you know of any 33 year old single guy and what's his approach? I do read social cues very well...too well I think..that's why it bothers me. I sense a girl when she's about to reject me but I try to make believe it's not there.

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I agree...its not your looks...its your confidence/what you're projecting outwards. Maybe coming off as super lonely, desperate or the dreaded 'too nice'. You should ask some of your real life girl friends to give you the honest low-down so you can work on those specific things. I'm sometimes surprised when I find out I come off a certain way to a certain audience. Good feedback, though.

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Well, the single 33 year old guys that aren't having any luck, are still doing what you're doing. The other ones are nurturing their hobbies and passions and meeting dates/potential dates through those means.

 

I sense a girl when she's about to reject me but I try to make believe it's not there.

 

Then you're not heeding the signals. Dougie, if you can tell, you back off not keep pressing on. You set yourself up for self-sabotage this way. She rejects you perhaps more harshly because you're not getting it, then you come home and feel crappier, and decide women don't like you for XYZ reasons that have nothing to do with it.

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I agree...its not your looks...its your confidence/what you're projecting outwards. Maybe coming off as super lonely, desperate or the dreaded 'too nice'. You should ask some of your real life girl friends to give you the honest low-down so you can work on those specific things. I'm sometimes surprised when I find out I come off a certain way to a certain audience. Good feedback, though.

 

They tell me the same stuff but NEVER actually help me. But sometimes I'll get the opposite when they say 'You'll be the best boyfriend ever", etc.. when it comes to what a girl wants EMOTIONALLY, I have that locked down. The physical aspect is what I need to work on, but I can't learn that if no one is willing to "teach" me or give me the time to get "comfortable" with them.

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They tell me the same stuff but NEVER actually help me. .

 

What do they tell you??

And they can't "help you"...they can only give you feedback. You have to help yourself.

There is no guy friend I know who would tell me I need to lose weight, but if I wanted to do something to my physical appearance for the specific purpose of attracting more men, I know without having to ask them that that would be something I could do. The fact that I don't isn't because they haven't told me or helped me.

You have to have some self-awareness in addition to good friends who will be honest with you if you ask.

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Then you're not heeding the signals. Dougie, if you can tell, you back off not keep pressing on. You set yourself up for self-sabotage this way. She rejects you perhaps more harshly because you're not getting it, then you come home and feel crappier, and decide women don't like you for XYZ reasons that have nothing to do with it.

 

The reality sucks. I only feel when a girl is interested in me, it's only because she wants to be friends and I'm 100 percent right. I know all the signs. I agree I shouldn't push things or believe things to be further, because I'll get hurt more.. I just don't understand why I have terrible LUCK. I have friends that can't approach a girl AT ALL...

 

I approached a group of 4 women. I was with 2 guys who are sitting down nearby. (6 feet tall, extremetly good looking, gym rats) . I started talking to 1 girl. then my 1 guy comes over. 2 girls go to the bathroom and my 1 guy friend is still by himself "waiting for a cue" ...the 2 girls from the bathroom comeback to "rescue" their friend. My girl literally says "well, I guess I gotta go..it was actually a GREAT conversation we had going..sorry about that". but the OTHER girl doesn't leave. She stands her ground and my boy gets her number.

 

To make a point..if it wasn't for my confidence to even approach these girls, my friend wouldn't even talk to them. Now, if we were at a bar, they wouldn't even talk...they just grind, and that's my main problem. I'm just not cute enough to let a girl grind on her. I tried it a couple times and she was saying like " ugh!" or "yeah, sorry bro"...

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What do they tell you??

And they can't "help you"...they can only give you feedback. You have to help yourself.

There is no guy friend I know who would tell me I need to lose weight, but if I wanted to do something to my physical appearance for the specific purpose of attracting more men, I know without having to ask them that that would be something I could do. The fact that I don't isn't because they haven't told me or helped me.

You have to have some self-awareness in addition to good friends who will be honest with you if you ask.

 

For the reference, NONE of my girls have told me to lose weight. Only guy friends.

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I'm 31 years old. I can't imagine going anywhere where grinding is the norm. I would drop kick someone who tried to rub on my ass.

 

Stop with the bars and clubs, Dougie. Everyone's told you this..It's a brutal meat market, for one. What is it you are looking for, exactly? Do you want a fling? A relationship? Are you in the "take what you can get" frame of mind?

 

I will take a look at your vid.

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I'm 31 years old. I can't imagine going anywhere where grinding is the norm. I would drop kick someone who tried to rub on my ass.

 

Stop with the bars and clubs, Dougie. Everyone's told you this..It's a brutal meat market, for one. What is it you are looking for, exactly? Do you want a fling? A relationship? Are you in the "take what you can get" frame of mind?

 

I will take a look at your vid.

 

Definitely "take what you can get" mind...but I will never pay for it. I will never take advantage of a girl if she's drunk. But if I'm drunk, and she takes advantage of me? I don't mind.

 

I sent you a link in you Private message

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At 33 years old you're concerned with grinding on girls at a bar....?? Did I misunderstand that part? My point wasn't that you need to lose weight...my point was that likely you know what it is and are blaming other people for not giving you the heads up. For me I know if I lost weight I could attract more guys....and I think that's true of any person no matter how much they weigh...being more fit is more attractive.

As far as sending a video---you're a stranger. The video could be inappropriate, have a virus....I wouldn't solicit a video from a stranger and am guessing others feel the way I do. It has nothing to do with you.

LA is a very superficial place (never been there--that's what I hear). If your goal is to 'get girls' then you should follow your friends' lead...be a gym rat or use their lines or whatever. If your goal is a relationship, keep being yourself so that you attract someone who enjoys the real you.

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There's nothing wrong with your body. Yeah, you have a bit of a beer belly but it's not the huge problem, Dougie(though your dancing might be - You don't do that in public, right?).

 

If you want to just "get women", though...Rack up numbers...Then I agree with savignon you need to follow your gym rat friends and learn from them, I guess.

 

My ex husband was good looking...But a big guy. Big thighs, big butt, buddha belly...But he was charming. An awful person really, but extremely charming and women liked him for that initially. I imagine he'd be easily able to "rack them up".

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There's nothing wrong with your body. Yeah, you have a bit of a beer belly but it's not the huge problem, Dougie(though your dancing might be - You don't do that in public, right?).

 

If you want to just "get women", though...Rack up numbers...Then I agree with savignon you need to follow your gym rat friends and learn from them, I guess.

 

My ex husband was good looking...But a big guy. Big thighs, big butt, buddha belly...But he was charming. An awful person really, but extremely charming and women liked him for that initially. I imagine he'd be easily able to "rack them up".

 

Haha! thanks for watching. Hmm.. that's actually how I do dance when I'm dancing. Not sure why that sucks???? I don't take off my shirt of course. But I move my hips to the beat??

 

I've racked up a few numbers but apparently, recently it's not good enough. Whenever I reply the next day or few days to see each other, I get that "sign"...like it was a mistake, just being nice, or she just wanted a chatting buddy.

 

I have to figure out how to gain that "attraction"... women lust over guys they have never talked to before. I need that.

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You don't look comfortable in your own skin dancing. I noticed that immediately. It made you seem awkward and uncomfortable. If you came swaying up to me like that(well, if anyone came swaying up to me like I said - drop kick - But I'm putting myself back in my early 20s for the sake of conversation), I would back off.

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You don't look comfortable in your own skin dancing. I noticed that immediately. It made you seem awkward and uncomfortable. If you came swaying up to me like that(well, if anyone came swaying up to me like I said - drop kick - But I'm putting myself back in my early 20s for the sake of conversation), I would back off.

 

That's what sucks...if anything, I was way more comfortable doing my moves in the video then in a club scene. I had less pressure in the video. Not sure how to fix that??

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