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Is it too son to get all mushy or to say "I love you"?


inugami

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First, some background about me. I'm an extremely shy guy. I get really nervous when talking to girls and I don't know how to act around them. I'm 21 years old. I have no experience whatsoever when it comes to relationships. I used to think that I'm emotionally strong, but it turns out, I'm not.

 

And this is my situation:

 

One of my best friends and I became a couple two weeks ago. I've known her for almost 10 years now. We've been friends since middle school. I realized some time ago that I liked her, and so I told her. We talked about it for a couple of months and decided that we should give it a try. Both of us are really scared. We get really nervous because we've been friends for so long that it is kinda weird that we are together now. She is my first girlfriend, so I don't know a lot about this kind of stuff. I started wondering some days ago if I love her, and I soon came to the conclusion that I do. I think about her all the time, when we're together I'm extremely happy even though I'm nervous, and every time we talk my problems seem like they don't exist anymore. To be completely honest, I'm a little scared because I'm becoming emotionally dependent of her.

 

This is a long distance relationship, so we don't see each other very often. Do you think she'll get scared If I tell her I love her? I know we've been together for a very short time, but we've known each other for almost a decade, and we have a lot of memories together. We talk a lot on Facebook and we Skype sometimes. I haven't even had the guts to send her the relationship request because I don't know if she would like that, and I'm scared to ask.

 

Do you think she'll think I'm weird if I start getting all mushy and saying "corny" things to her, like for example, all the things I like about her. I don't know if it is appropriate to share all my feelings or if I should keep some things to myself. I don't even know how to be romantic.

 

Thank you all for taking the time to read my question and giving me advice.

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Normally I wouldn't say it until I'd been seeing a girl regularly (at least once a week) for 3-5 months. It would also depend on how well I knew her. Do her family and friends like you? Do you know her favourite books? Do you know at least one thing about her that nobody else knows? Have you spent the night together? Have you been on holiday together? She might give you subtle signals to tell you when the time is right (a certain look or smile or the way she touches your hand). But the best time to say it depends on your own circumstances and there is no one correct answer in every relationship. The distance makes things more complicated. Have you talked about moving closer to her? Or even moving in together?

 

Don't say it immediately after sex.

Don't say it when you're drunk. Even worse, when she's drunk.

Don't say it in an email/text and don't say it on her facebook page.

Don't say it when she's in the middle of cleaning the toilet.

Don't turn up on her doorstep with a mariachi band.

Don't say it in front of other people. It might embarrass her. Wait until there's only the two of you.

Say it when the time feels right and you're 100% sure of how you feel. 99% isn't good enough.

If she says it first, just say "I know." You'll look like Han Solo

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