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What do I do after this forced breakup?


Cardboardo

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First of all- Hello! This is my first post here after snooping for answers on different things.

 

Let me just jump in. My ex and I (15 and 16) were just forced to break up after 3 1/2 months because her mom decided that she was emotionally ready for another relationship (She has fairly severe depression and anxiety, attempted suicide once). We weren't really allowed to date but we hung out a lot during school and held hands/kissed, then texted and video chat very frequently after school each day. We have a lot in common and things were going really well.

 

A week ago her mom broke us up and we were both pretty devastated, I think I was a bit more than her mostly because she's my first love. We're trying to be friends until we're allowed to date. This past week has been really hard for me because it feels like she's trying to forget me. I've been texting her much less now and I only really see her during lunch at school. A few days ago we talked and cried and she said that she took me for granted and told me how much she missed me. I'm really confused because yesterday and today she's barely said anything and often doesn't reply when I text her. I confronted her and she said it's just weird talking to an ex.

 

Can someone help me out? I'm not sure what to do.

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If she already has a suicide attempt at her age, I think you need to accept that her.parents are watching her emotional well being and that you need to bow out gracefully.

 

That's honestly some of the best advice I've gotten, thank you...I just don't want her to forget about me and what we had.

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The attempt was over a year ago, but that doesn't make it any better. She's gotten better now but still gets sad very easily and cuts when it gets really bad. This isn't very often though. I'm going to give her some space but is there some way to ensure that she won't just get over me and forget?

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This is incredibly selfish but it's painful thinking of her being happy without me... I want her to be happy more than anything in the world but I just want to feel important to her. Maybe it is for the best though, because she tells me that being in a relationship stresses her out. I'm just really confused.

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I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Accept that it's in the past and move on knowing what you had WAS once good... respect the decision that has been made and step away, it'll show the most respect and show you're mature.

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The attempt was over a year ago, but that doesn't make it any better. She's gotten better now but still gets sad very easily and cuts when it gets really bad. This isn't very often though. I'm going to give her some space but is there some way to ensure that she won't just get over me and forget?

 

This is not about you in any way. Whether she forgets about you is very small in the bigger picture of her mental health and stability.

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This is not about you in any way. Whether she forgets about you is very small in the bigger picture of her mental health and stability.

 

You're right.

I couldn't help but bring it up recently because I'm an insecure pile of dirt and she doesn't seem to care, so I guess I'll just leave her alone for a long time.

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You are not an insecure pile of dirt...but you so seem a bit self focused.

Don't you want what is best for her?

 

I really do...It's hard though. She tweeted today that she met "a cute boy" in counseling today and while it doesn't seem like much at all I feel like it killed me a little. Every time I see a picture of her I get a reminder of what I used to have and it hurts a lot. I'm starting to feel obsessive and I don't like it. If I want her to be happy I just need to keep to myself and not bother her about anything but I feel like I need to complain to someone. I think I have a "feel-bad-for-me" complex.

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She is emotionally fragile. The counselors and her parents will prevent anything from happening with the cute boy.

 

And it was very inappropriate for her to say that to you.

 

Text her that you are glad she is in counseling...but that it is hard to hear stuff like that...and try not to respond to her texts. I know it is hard... but what is most important is that she gets stable.

 

You will be OK. Let's hope she will be too.

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She is emotionally fragile. The counselors and her parents will prevent anything from happening with the cute boy.

 

And it was very inappropriate for her to say that to you.

 

Text her that you are glad she is in counseling...but that it is hard to hear stuff like that...and try not to respond to her texts. I know it is hard... but what is most important is that she gets stable.

 

You will be OK. Let's hope she will be too.

 

Thanks so much for the help. You're right about her, she just needs a lot of time to heal and hopefully become stable and happy. Maybe in the end we'll meet up again but I'm not going to weigh on it.

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That is a good way to look at it.

normally I would say ignore her...but she is too fragile.

So...if she says stuff like that... ignore the things she says.

And respond with things like "what are you learning?"

 

But move on in your life...you are very young to have to deal with such heavy issues.

Be supportive...but move on.

 

You sound like a really good guy.

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I unblocked her on these sites. I couldn't do it. I explained that I blocked her and why I did it, emphasizing that it has nothing to do with her or how she's acting but she still got mad, understandably I guess. I told her I tried it so I wouldn't be mopey around her but she told me that she "doesn't want to talk to me anymore". Not sure how long that is. I feel like every time I try to make things better it just backfires.

 

My most prominent feeling right now is that I'm upset at her for being upset at me...every time I see her I get that same horrible feeling in my stomach and I just want it gone so I can be happy around her and not make her feel as bad as me just by being around me.

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She just texted me that she's really upset because she was hanging out with some guy who was flirting with her, touching her, and even kissing her on the cheek...She asked him if he really liked her and he said no. I'm not sure how to react. I comforted her of course but I feel really bad for her...

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