How do you feel when you see someone at the bar or club alone?

[TwixSense]

What do you feel or think when you see a guy or girl who went to the bar or club alone?

 

I ask because I'm impatient and I want to go out..Lately I've just been staying home because my car broke down and because of the weather. But a few days ago I got a whip..Now I'm excited.. And I haven't really been out to a nightclub or bar since August of last year...I was focusing on school & work & finances... But now tonight - I got cabin fever, and I want to go out. Unfortunately I'll be by myself if I go.. Of course I'll park near the light, near the entrance, won't drink etc etc....I don't even want to drink, I just want to go for the music and possibly dance, and just have a good time....

 

The reason why I'll be alone is because my 3 friends work weekends, and I'm the only one who doesn't... To me, having weekends free is fantastic...that's my ideal work schedule......so I don't want to stay in just because no one I know can hang out.

 

So what is your opinion? Do you even notice a guy or girl who's "alone" at the club? Or are you too busy having fun or too drunk/high to even notice? In my past experience, I don't recall "looking down" on men who went out alone...I don't recall seeing a female by herself either but I'm sure it's happened before... So .. What's your opinion? Is it Sad? Pathetic? Lonesome? Do you sometimes go out by yourself? And are you male or female and do you think the gender changes things? All opinions welcomed, thanks.

[Batya33]

I wouldn't notice because it's possible the person decided to sit separately from his/her friends to increase the chances of meeting someone. And if the person is alone -no biggie.

[laninaperdida]

Some things are socially acceptable to do alone.

Going to a bar or club is not 1 of them, IMO.

It's prob THE weirdest social event to do solo.

You'll seem like a creeper.

I'm a pretty confident perseon & enjoy doing things alone, but I wouldn't touch this one.

I suggest you find some new friends who have a more in sync schedule with you.

[laninaperdida]

Double post, whoops.

[Realitynut]

From the time i was 20-23 i was living with a guy....while all my friends were out dancing and having FUN! (drinking age back then was 18) The week we broke up...i contacted my long lost friends (back then also...when you got a guy...you LOST the gf's) and they had all met their future husbands THAT WEEK! No kidding. I didn't have a lot of friends to begin with...but geeze....

 

So, I was alone from 23 until i got married at 32. Only went out with my sister dancing when she was between bf's or when i was between bf's....otherwise i was out there on my own. AND I HATED IT!

 

Since then, I've heard that guys are reluctant to approach a big group of girls! Soooo....i met my husband (ex) one night when i was out alone. All I suggest is that you look HAPPY. Lots of times i sat there and looked quite bored...and after they saw my face there...week after week...year after year...lol....I was categorized as the 'fixture'....lol

[annie24]

I don't really pay attention when I see someone alone. I figure they may be waiting for someone, or their friend/s are in the bathroom or something. Most of the time, i'm too wrapped up in my own group of people to notice others.

 

Have you tried link removed? That could be a fun way to make new friends to go out to the clubs with.

[chr8st8na]

LOL yes it's noticeable when someone is alone at a club or at a bar... Do a link removed...

 

However i think if u go to a dive bar, it's ok, because most ppl go to dive bars to socialize and chat with whoever is there.

[Lorem Ipsum]

It doesn't matter how other people feel about it, what's important is how *you* feel about it. If you want to go out and don't mind doing it by yourself, then go. As you've already detailed out some precautions, you must know the others, like don't leave your drink unattended, accept a drink only from the bartender that you can see being poured (or female waitstaff) etc. Some people are perfectly fine going out by themselves, others aren't. If you're OK with it, then go! You are the one responsible for your own entertainment. If you're at a bar to watch a band, then you have a "reason" to be there, if you feel you need one.

[NorthDallas40]

Some things are socially acceptable to do alone.

Going to a bar or club is not 1 of them, IMO.

It's prob THE weirdest social event to do solo.

You'll seem like a creeper.

 

What are you talking about? Tons of men & women go to bars/clubs/shows alone all the time!

 

OP - go for it. Just be aware that a single woman at a bar is a magnet for guys looking to try out their pickup lines!

[Throwaway999]

Yeah, I don't know what planet some of these posters are from because I go out to bars alone all the time.

 

Usually to see bands, I don't go to "clubs" like "grind on somebody on the dance floor" types of clubs, though.

[Lorem Ipsum]

Yeah, I don't know what planet some of these posters are from

You know, sometimes I read a post (not this one, but there have been other threads) where I shake my head and mourn for the future of humanity. BUT... then I remember that when I was that age, I had literally no one to turn to to ask questions. And if I could have found someone, it would have been face to face and then I probably would have been too embarrassed to actually ask it out loud and risk looking like an idiot/being made fun of. Because I was a teen/early 20's before the internet was as big as it is now, commercially available everywhere with sites like this one. I had to muddle through completely on my own... and boy did I make a muddle of it. The thing is, we're only experts in our own lives, we don't know about the lives and thoughts of others. Places like this give you a chance to check the pulse from a wide variety of people with different ages and experiences. Sometimes, there's no better feeling than the acknowledgement that you're not crazy.

 

Also, Hazlewood, you're a dude (I think) and so don't really consider a whole host of other things when you go out by yourself that a woman would. As a woman by herself, she is going to have to be careful in ways you don't even think about. And, sadly there are far too many stereotypes of the desperate/unattractive/single woman who goes out alone because no one with go out with her still floating around out there.

[Cheetarah]

I used to go to bars alone, movies alone, dinners alone, I went wherever I pleased and whenever I pleased. And I really enjoyed it.

 

I didn't give two sheets if some stranger thought I was weird, creepy or anything else. I never really took heed of a person being by themselves before I branched out on my own... I might notice they are, in fact, sitting there alone as a simple observation- But to sit there and be like "Oh, that's just disgraceful, they must be so socially awkward.." LOL, no. The truth is, most people are too wrapped up doing their own things to put too much effort into merely noticing most strangers; Let alone analyzing their behaviors.

[Throwaway999]

What you say about the safety issues for women vs. guys is true, but in my defense, the OP did ask specifically about guys going out alone. I wasn't responding to the OP so much as to this:

 

 

 

and this:

 

 

 

Because... what????

[Batya33]

I've gone to the movies, theater, on vacation and singles events alone. The only time I've gone to a bar or club alone is when there's a singles event going on there (when I was single) so I'm not sure if that counts. I wouldn't otherwise have gone to a bar or a club alone unless it was for a concert (and then I would if it was a band I loved and wouldn't otherwise get to see). But that's just me - I really don't see an issue with it -whatever the person is comfortable with.

[Lorem Ipsum]

Because... what????

What I said about there being a stigma of women alone out in public at bars. There can be the perception that you're out by yourself because you're ugly/alone/unwanted/desperate/pathetic, or even worse, that you're "loose". After all, if you actually *had* friends, wouldn't they be out *with* you, you loser? It's another form of bullying.

[blueidealist24]

If I see someone alone I sometimes think, "They're probably drinking because they're depressed," or I think they're there specifically to meet someone to take home and think it would be easier if they're alone. I don't think, "Wow, what a loser," though, unless the person looks creepy and dirty.

 

I personally wouldn't go to a bar alone unless I was going to an event and just showing up alone. I'd be afraid some guy would sexually harass me. I do eat in fast food places and sit in coffee shops alone quite often though.

[Doc Blaze]

I used to go to bars alone sometimes..idc..lol..I would spark up convos with the bartenders ..people would come sit next to me at the bar..bam..talking to random people for hours...I wasnt trying to hook up or take anyone home..just enjoy a night out with a few drinks..but its easy for me to talk to people..

[bulletproof]

I honestly never thought anything either way about someone in a bar/club alone. I either didn't notice, or assumed whoever they were with was somewhere else at that minute. I am surprised anyone thinks about at all.

[Doc Blaze]

well its easier i think in smaller bars..where everyone kinda knows everyone...larger bars i wouldnt even notice ..most of the time i dont even care..not even trying to be mean but im just trying to enjoy my night

[Realitynut]

And, sadly there are far too many stereotypes of the desperate/unattractive/single woman who goes out alone because no one with go out with her still floating around out there.

 

Hey....quit talking about me like that!

[Realitynut]

To be honest...most of my friends were married young....like i said. Then i was married for 20 years...then with ex bf for 3. I then tried going out to the bars/clubs alone, cuz i LOOOOOVE dancing. But i was just too dang uncomfortable, and no one asked me to dance anyway.

 

I hated doing it when i was young...and i REALLY hated doing it when i was OLD!

 

But like some said, it's what YOU are comfortable with! If you have lots of self-confidence...feel the need to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE like you said...i say...GO FOR IT! Either you will have a really good time....or you won't.

 

All you know is that you aren't having a good time sitting home....so GO!!! (oops...fri. and sat. nights are now over! )

[TwixSense]

Well, update: I went by myself.

 

And it was a nightclub, not a dive bar nor a venue where a band would play. And I enjoyed myself! I got there early and it was weird because I saw older adults and children there, which threw me off. Turns out they had a bar mitvah and the people that attended were leaving. Then I waited until I saw who else was going in because I didn't want to be there if there were more men than women.

 

Anyway, after the bar mitzvah crowd cleared out, it turns out that the place itself was dead. As in there were very few people, considering that it was Saturday night and that it was a nightclub. So I won't be going there again..But as for being by myself per se, it wasn't bad at all. I didn't feel ugly or socially outcast because I was there alone. And I enjoyed the music and dancing, even though I was by myself. Got a little two-step going...And honestly, my overall impression was that no one pays attention to anybody - everyone is either staring off into space, or laughing, or talking, or drinking, or dancing, or checking somebody out. I felt very independent and free tonight.

 

And I don't foresee any Valentine's plans this weekend so I found a spot that should be a lot hotter, which I'll be going to this weekend! Very excited.

[Cheetarah]

Good for you. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself! You're right, people really are off in their own worlds.

[Realitynut]

Congrats! I think only a true, independent, self-assured woman can pull that off! AND IT SHOWS WHEN YOU ARE OUT!

 

Like i said, as long as you are happy, and having fun....the fun will find YOU!

 

BTW...not ALL nights will be fun! I went out some nights and it was a total bomb.....(bomb...as in NOT FUN