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Could use some advice, met this girl online, now taking some time off.


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Hey everybody,


I would really appreciate some advice. I'll try to do this on 2 parts, the first short and fast, the second more explanatory.


I met this girl online a couple of months ago, first date went good, second went good, third was at her place, made out a lot, and slept at her place. After that had daily contact, texting & calling. She was a bit reluctant to meet for a 4th date. After a week or so she came to my place, had something to eat, watched a movie, but she had to go, it was on a weekday and she lives in another city (not too far from mine +-40 mi).

After that we had a short silent period of a couple of days, after which i texted her and she told me, she didnt know whether she wanted to keep dating or not...i told her we should take it easy, we'll leaving it for what it is and we'll see... it's been about 3 weeks since we spoke, i've been dating other girls, working on myself, and doing my own thing. Yet, the girls i've dated make me think about her more, since we really got along very well and have not yet seen that kind of connection with someone else. I want to contact her again but dont know when the right moment will be...


And now for the explanatory piece...


After we met online who lives in another city, about 40 miles from where i live. We texted a bit and had some coffee on our first date, it was fun, she laughed the whole time, giving signals she really liked me and so on...After the date we kept textting and calling sometimes for more than an hour on a daily basis. A couple of days later we had our second date, walked a bit in my town, had a drink and then she was off. It was a nice date, we laughed, had good conversations etc... About a week after, still having contact on a daily basis, her sending me pics of her and her friends, random pics of her place etc...After a couple of days she texts me on a saturday if i was doing anything and wanted to come to her place for maybe a movie and something to eat. I went to her place and she showed she was really attracted, we watched a movie, made out pasionatley, but did not have sex, i advanced but she pushed it away (possibly due to cultural background), not ruining the moment. I ended up sleeping at her place because it was too late to catch the last train, we cuddled, kissed, talked and slept. While talking she did say she knew i liked her a lot, so it must have been really obvious, although i didnt think i was laying it on her that thick.

The day after i went home and we kept texting and calling on a daily basis, mind you, most of it was initiated by me.


I did really liked this girl because i felt we connected on multiple levels. To be honest I was falling in love with her.


After that day we kept texting and calling, but she was a bit reluctant to go on another date, i asked but she often waved it off and not really being clear. We kept talking and the next week we agreed to meet in the weekend. The thursday that week she texted me if i was doing something, i told her i had a business meeting out of town but that evening i woud be free. She said she could come to my place. So we met up that night at my place, talked, had some dinner and watched a movie. One moment she said she wanted to see my bedroom, so i showed her, we made out and i was hones with her, telling her i liked her a lot, she responded with, i know you love me. I told her that love is not that easy...


That night she left and a couple oy days later we texted. She told me she didnt know if she wanted to date anymore, she didnt know what se wants etc... or in other words, she was letting me down gently...I told her that it maybe was better to take some time of, that we should let it be for now and we'll see (more in a nonchalant way than telling her we'll see if she shanges her mind or not)...

Since then we've had no contact at all. Its been more than three weeks, and i was thinking maybe texting or calling her sometime soon, to maybe meet up somewhere just for a drink in a public place or something...but i feel it might be a bit soon.


I've used the time to do some reflection on myself and in retrospect came to the conclusion that i probably have been too needy and made myself too available to her, ruining the attraction between us. Also, where i normally am a great listener (people around me always say this), i feel i wasnt listening very well to what she was saying, maybe because i was really in love with her and didnt have a good grip on myself with her. That does not happen oftenly to me so it put me a bit off balance, but i was in to deep to see this at the moment.


I'm thinking about her less everyday, yes the girls i date remind me of her, but also that feeling is diminishing, nevertheless, it was her personality that made me fall in love with her not her looks or anything else.


As you've read above, i want to contact her and maybe arrange an occasional get together, but i dont know wether to wait for her to contact or do it myself?


Any advice is welcome, wether from anyone who has been in a simmilar situation or maybe know someone who is/was. Even if you havent been, but think youre advice might help, its really appreciated...If you have any question at all, let me know.


Thanks for taking the time to read my story...

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