Jump to content

15 Days of NC, hopefully the hardest part is done


Recommended Posts

So its been since early december since the BU, and since January 24th its been NC. Holy hell has it been hard, still have her on my mind all the time. I have noticed that she is on my mind more at particular points in the day, especially right when i wake up. I only get anxious and upset and think of her at night on fridays and saturdays just wondering what she is doing, partying, guys, drinking, sex, all that fun stuff because i know her to well. I have made some life changes and im staying commited to them and working hard on myself such as being healthier, not drinking, working out, training for Boston Marathon, focusing on me and my hockey team, seeing a therapist to pour out to and to talk to. My father has been a big help over the past few months but said he has said all he can and is sick of talking about "her", cant blame him. After my hockey game last night (university) it didnt feel the same as it usually would have, wasnt as focused, thinking of her, lack of confidence, etc. After the game i was pretty down that i couldnt text her the usual update and get the "great job babe" text that i used to love. I couldnt even go out to the bars with the team after as a i was scared of running into her. I know she is having fun and being a typical 21 year old girl now and meeting new guys and hooking up with some, sucks to think about but that is reality. Im really doing my best to mature as a person, i know this healing process is a long dark tunnel but i know i will come up a stronger person on the other end with or without her. Im commited to not contact her and have an uncle who lived something very similiar to this who made me promise him that if i ever wanna contact her to just talk to him instead, he calms me down very well. She still frequents my dreams and reconciliation in the future is still on my mind, i think about it often when i cant sleep. I know neither me nor her are ready to reconcile yet and may never be and that time is the only thing that can decide that. I have decided to let fate take over what happens between me and her and just focus on things i can control and that is being the best me that i possibly can be, if its not good enough for her then its good enough for some other lucky girl that gets to experience the new, mature, loving, caring version of me.

 

 

Thanks for reading everyone, been 15 days and im rather proud!

 

(also got a notification 2 days ago my ex looked at my linkedin account, kinda funny)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It didnt really bother me all that much, kinda laughed at it. I deleted my twitter cause i couldnt fully block here on that, blocked in all other ways though! Got lots of support now from lots of different sources which is helping alot, including on here, happy to have so many people that care and have lived similiar situations, ive really accepted that things workout as they should in life. So i plan on going NC forever right now! Gotta be tough, fight the urges, feel the pain, and be strong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Any way that your ex has of making an artificial internet connection.... you need to block her.

 

It didn't really bother you that much? Still you're posting about it on an online relationships forum!

 

REAL NC means blocking your ex online -- for real, closing every door.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gonna do my best to block her out, she is very close friends with my room mates and a few of my other friends. Should i talk to them about not mentioning her to me or that they shouldnt talk to her anymore? How should i go about that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, you should let all mutual friends know that they shouldn't discuss you with her, or her with you.

 

That's part of No Contact. The goal is to have no new information coming at you about her.... and to not use mutual friends to have indirect contact with your ex.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm on day 10 of NC, and it's been the hardest 10 days of my life. What's keeping me going is that he did not make any effort whatsoever to contact me. So if he's strong enough to do it, then I can do it as well. The weekends are hard though: I'm always wondering what he's doing, whether he misses me or not... We had so many romantic plans for Valentine's day, and I am getting weaker and weaker as the day approaches and I see all the couples around me being happy and in love. I really hope I'll be strong enough to go through this. I have sat 30 days as a major milestone, I know it's not that much for some people, but for me it's a huge deal! He has been going through a lot of self-esteem issues and depression, and he decided that "he can't he happy in a relationship if he's not happy with himself", and that "he needs to be alone for a long time". Sometimes, I wish that we broke up because we had too many arguments, wanted different things in life, or even because of cheating, lying, etc. at least then I could have moved on easier. But now, I'm still full of hope, false hope. And I just want it all to go away. I can't help but think that he'll feel better, and come back to me. But I have read enough forums to know that he's NOT coming back. Why do I still have hope? What's wrong with me?

 

Congrats on reaching 15 days. I know how hard it is, and it is indeed an accomplishment that you should be proud of. I hope it gets easier with time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel like we have many many similiar feelings right now, its been such a hard time and i know the road ahead is gonna be very hard as well, but we can do it! We are strong independent people and will be stronger in the end from having survived this!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Waking up hungover today sucks, drank with some friends for a bit. Then went home and drank more by myself, had to battle the urge to text and call her for hours. She was in my dreams yet again and we hooked up and all that stuff... Waking up sucks, feeling anxious and wanting her back so bad, wondering who and what she did last night... this pain i hate it so much, why did this have to me up so bad! I just want this time to go by and to feel myself again....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...