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WHy is it so hard to move on?


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I can't shake the feeling of missing my ex. I woke up this morning with utter dread as I started to think of her. I know now why people get into rebound relationships; it is much easier to hide from the pain by running to the arms of another than to deal with it. I want to deal with it, however. I want to be brave and understand that this is only a fleeting pain, not everlasting. It is incredibly difficult, though. I miss all the little things. I miss the love we once had. I miss the times she told me that I was the best thing that has ever happened to her. I feel so alone in college. I have friends, but none of them are very close. I only have one or two very close friends and they live in my home town. I just wish it was possible toi shut off the pain and be happy today, I have felt happier though, but I still feel hurt from the break up, and I'm still questioning if I will ever be over it.

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Hi blackmilk, a lot of people on ENA share the same feelings. How long are you broken up? I am going in month 3 and I am still hurting a lot. I know people on here who have been broken up much longer and still have a hard time. Good for you that you dont wanna run into a rebound relationship. I doubt it would be a good idea.

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It is a primal human fear to be left alone and when it happens, emotions overwhelm us - it is just how we are programmed to react to very sudden news of someone wanting to leave us. It is a very traumatic experience and it is ok to feel all these emotions you have it means you are healing right now. Isn't that amazing? You are in pain, but you are on your road to get better. Pain is hard but it is part of our life, eventually you will just get to the point when the pain subsides and you learn to live with it. After a while it will disappear completely, it will happen. For now experience the pain, embrace it

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MY ex and I broke up 2 and a half months ago. I just received a call from a friend just for the sole purpose of thanking em for everything I've done for her. I really appreciated that and it brought my spirits up. I believe one of the worst aspects of this was that I lost something that I felt truly defined me. My ex, I felt, was my other half , and now she is gone.

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It all boils down to the fact that you're gonna have to go through it one way or the other. Choose the wiser way - no rebound. I went rebound after my breakup 2 years ago and yes, it does bring you relief but in the end you're gonna have to deal with the BU sh*t on your own and also its not good to use somebody just to lift yourself up.

Its gonna hurt, but in the end it will spit you out much stronger and wiser, scared sure, but alive and healthy for new stories in your life.

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I am wondering the same thing. I feel like I'm in some sort of alternate place. I feel beside myself. I sometimes wake up waiting to feel his hug or see his good morning message =( Today was one of those days & I'm really in a funk!!

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MY ex and I broke up 2 and a half months ago. I just received a call from a friend just for the sole purpose of thanking em for everything I've done for her. I really appreciated that and it brought my spirits up. I believe one of the worst aspects of this was that I lost something that I felt truly defined me. My ex, I felt, was my other half , and now she is gone.

 

We usually tend to put them in a pedestal. A very high pedestal. My ex was also my other half like you say. The thing is, this is wrong...Our partners are not supposed to "complete" us. We're supposed to be whole, you and them. You don't complete each other. You two need to be whole being that COMPLEMENT each other.

 

Are you sure you miss HER or someone to fill in a void?

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I am 100% in the same boat with you. We were living together and she got pregnant, we found out on Christmas eve. We decided to keep it. It was my family in the making. She started to have doubts and after the new year she aborted the baby and asked me to move out. It's been 22 days since I last saw her face. Of all the breakups in my life, this one is kicking my ass. I moved in with a friend and joined a local gym. I pump iron now 7 days a week until my muscles almost burst and then I go on the treadmill for at least 90 minutes. I walk until I have absolutely nothing left. This regimen is the only thing that is keeping me going and keeping my anxiety down. I went NC right away and the pain I have been through has been excruciating. I wish I could go into the future and past this stage. The world seems so empty right now. Thankfully I've been through this and I can identify the stages.

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We usually tend to put them in a pedestal. A very high pedestal. My ex was also my other half like you say. The thing is, this is wrong...Our partners are not supposed to "complete" us. We're supposed to be whole, you and them. You don't complete each other. You two need to be whole being that COMPLEMENT each other.

 

Are you sure you miss HER or someone to fill in a void?

 

I don't actually think I miss her. She lied to me about her emotional cheating, so I'm pretty angry about that. I guess I just miss having someone to care about me.

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