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Can girls let go of the past?


Moe96

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I'm just curious because my ex told me a while back that she will forgive but won't forget, now I feel like that's a "easier said then done" type of moment. And after reading many many many posts, I've concluded the only way for people to truly reconcile is if they, 1) Forget about the past and start fresh. 2) Discuss what went wrong the first time, and 3) Both put in the effort to make it work. Now I would love to make it work with my ex but she doesn't want to so it's a dead end for now. So back to original question. Is it possible?

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Girls (just like boys for that matter...) can forgive but forget ? Not so sure...

One doesn't need to forget a past relationship in order to reconcile in my opinion, one need to believe that one's former relationship has died peacefully and believe that a fresh start is possible.

 

That's all.

 

And that takes time, effort and a will to "turn the page" coming from both sides of a relationship...

 

There is no "flashing device" like in Men In Black in the real world...

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Girls (just like boys for that matter...) can forgive but forget ? Not so sure...

One doesn't need to forget a past relationship in order to reconcile in my opinion, one need to believe that one's former relationship has died peacefully and believe that a fresh start is possible.

 

That's all.

 

And that takes time, effort and a will to "turn the page" coming from both sides of a relationship...

 

There is no "flashing device" like in Men In Black in the real world...

 

I feel like if the dumper (in my case) doesn't forget about the past there's no way to get back together and whatever improvements the dumpee made would be useless because the dumper still see's them as the person they were once with. But to anyone who reads this, don't make improvements to impress your ex, make them to impress yourself.

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You can't forget about your past, you just can turn the page.

 

The dumper can't possibly forget about your past relationship, he/she can only accept that it died out and that it won't impede any kind of reconciliation.

 

Reconciliation isn't about forgetting the past in my opinion, it is about aknowledging that a fresh start is possible and that the dumpee is worth another shot for whatever reason.

 

Don't let go of your past, just embrace it.

 

Think about that : if, for whatever reason, your dumper is capable of "forgetting" your past relationship, how would it be possible to learn from it in order to achieve an effective reconciliation ? It just could not be done this way...

 

However, I agree about making improvements for oneself and oneself alone

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You can't forget about your past, you just can turn the page.

 

The dumper can't possibly forget about your past relationship, he/she can only accept that it died out and that it won't impede any kind of reconciliation.

 

Reconciliation isn't about forgetting the past in my opinion, it is about aknowledging that a fresh start is possible and that the dumpee is worth another shot for whatever reason.

 

Don't let go of your past, just embrace it.

 

Think about that : if, for whatever reason, your dumper is capable of "forgetting" your past relationship, how would it be possible to learn from it in order to achieve an effective reconciliation ? It just could not be done this way...

 

However, I agree about making improvements for oneself and oneself alone

 

That's very true, never thought of looking it at that way, you need to remember the past so you can remind yourself why you made whatever improvements you made. Thanks for the insight! I miss my ex a whole lot, and I do wish we could reconcile later in life, but only time will tell I guess.

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I'm glad you to are back together. Wish you guys nothing but happiness. My ex is the stubborn type and she'd probably put her pride over anything so who knows if she'll be willing to put the effort to start fresh with me. like I said before, time will tell! I've been doing alot of self improvements on myself and boy do they feel great.

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You don't forget the past. You must do the 3 things you mentioned. By bf and I reconciled by accepting what was done WAS in the.past and committing to better communication.

 

Yes, exactly. Only time will tell, and one thing is for sure : communication is paramount in this.

 

Another Martini ? ;-)

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For now i'm keeping NC for my own good, Her birthday is tomorrow but i'm not saying or doing anything. Just isn't worth it. Once I feel like I'm ready to send a message with ZERO expectations then I know i'm completely over it. I don't have a set date because planning is useless for this so I guess i'll know when and if it's possible.

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