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*Rolling my eyes*


savignon

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This is just for fun....

What's the best (meaning worst) line you've gotten from someone in the start stages of attempts-at-dating??

 

I was communicating recently with someone from online and, after an initial great few email exchanges and giving him my number, it got quickly boring with a "hey" text here and there...no mention of an actual phone call or meeting and "hey"...? Really? ....so I stopped replying to the next handful of texts. After over a week of me not responding, our exchange went like this:

Him: I'm guessing by your lack of response you've lost interest?

Me: At this point I'm no longer interested and wish you well in your search. Take care.

Him: Well, thanks for being honest. Something I did?

Me: No. Just never gained any traction.

Him: I'm four wheel drive and all traction ;-)

 

Oh, brother!

Come on, my friends....I know you've "been there"....give us a laugh!!

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LOL!

 

My weirdest one, met a girl online, talked non stop, pictures, phone calls, it was really going great. We finally met. The date went well, we talked when she got home, i waited a day or so to ask if she had a good time and literally got a 5 page text about why she doesn't think we will work. I was just like "ooh ok, well i was just wondering if you had fun, i don't think i asked you to be my girlfriend."

 

I was baffled by that.

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I like posting messages I receive, I had this one

 

"Would love to get to know you better if the fact I crossdress does not freak you out. "

 

And this

 

"Hi! Im sorry to bother you...you seem very nice and genuine and i was wondering if you mind having a sub friend...i always wanted to be a friend of a nice girl, pay things for her, trust her,be her servant and footslave,meaning smell,massage and lick her feet and lick her shoes clean.. Do her chores and errands..hope it is not too weird and i did not bother you in any form ...."

 

^^ he is very tempting because I am very poor and have had some terrible back aches lately.

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oneheart...she probably got crabby cuz she thought things were going great...then you ignored her for a few days! Some girls like to be ignored....and then WANT the guy more. Others, like me...don't like going on dates then not hear from them...but oh well. She was probably looking for a bf!!

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Oooh no no, i didn't ignore her, we were talking like we normally had been during those couple of days.

 

I can't believe i forgot about these 2, one girl had a rape fantasy, i thought she really meant just rough dominate sex. Ok no problem! Nope, she really wanted me to rape her. I felt bad for her.

 

The second one, we talked for about a week and had set up a date. 3 hours before the date i get a text "i have to tell you something, i have a boyfriend but i really like you, would you wanna just hook up and be my side thing?" Uuhh, nope i don't actually

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Me: No. Just never gained any traction.

Him: I'm four wheel drive and all traction ;-)

 

That's hilarious!

 

I haven't done much online dating, but I've had men say some strange things to me in regular dating. I've conveniently forgotten most of them. And the ones I can think of aren't that funny, such as the guy who tried to get me to come to his place after our first meeting:

Him: What's your problem with coming over? I'm not going to rape you? You could always scream.

 

Ewwww. Little did he know I HAD been raped. And even if I hadn't that's such a creepy thing to say to a woman. It's good to laugh about it now.

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First email on dating site:

 

You're not exactly my type but email me if you're interested

 

 

 

LOL So sad actually...he must have been very bored/lonely/desperate, or into devaluing people right off the bat. "Hey if you have low self worth and want to be with someone who's not really attracted to you, we're a match made in heaven!" You dodged a bullet on that one.

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Conversation with the guy at the coffee shop who wouldn't take the hint every time he saw me, asking me out even though I'd told him I was seeing someone else and it was serious.

 

Him: Come on, give me a chance okay?

Me: "No, I'm engaged okay? Not happening."

Him: "Wow, me too. So let's engage in something together!" Hands me his card with a number on it.

 

I made a face and tossed it in the trashcan next to my table. Never saw him again. LOL

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"You look like you work out. Do you work out?"

 

Eye roll. Come on, guys.

 

Or, "I like your shoes." It's like he was thinking, Women love shoes, so if I compliment her shoes she'll get warm and fuzzy.

 

Or, "I bet you get asked out all the time."

 

Now that I'm thinking about it, I guess I hate it when it's obvious I'm being buttered up. Um, the craziest one I heard was the guy who told me I look like I would make a great dominatrix, and asked me if I wanted to practice on him.

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"Damn, baby, you so fine. You so fine ... I forgot my line!"

 

That one's actually kind of cute in a really sort of cheesy bad movie kind of way. And Ms. Marple that guy was just asking for a string of amusing texts from you and everyone you know emailing you with that sorry excuse for a line. Starting with, "You aren't mine either, next!"

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At a lounge, a guy came up to me and said in a serious voice "you have something on your face". The walls happened to be made of mirror so I quickly turned around to check myself in case my lipstick had smeared or my nose was bleeding or something. I saw nothing so I turned back to him puzzled. Him: "no really, you have something on your face!". I look again...nothing. Him, already uncomfortable because his pick up line had gone in the wrong direction: "no, it's nothing bad...it's your beauty that you're wearing on your face". Ummm...***eye roll***

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Another funny, although this was a male friend I wasn't dating. He was saying that men are always checking women out...even their friends, women they aren't interested in, etc. I said that I didn't think that was true and I never noticed a male friend checking me out. He said, looking me straight in the eye "we use our peripheral vision. I'm staring at your boobs right now".

I laaaaauuuuugh out loud every time I think of it and I think it happened like 10 years ago.

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Or, "I like your shoes." It's like he was thinking, Women love shoes, so if I compliment her shoes she'll get warm and fuzzy.

 

Haha, or he had a foot fetish. That happened to me once, guy starts chatting me up at a coffee shop I went to after work every day. Compliments me on my shoes, asks me what brand they are, I tell him I don't know, he stutters and asks if I'd look since he'd like to get his girlfriend a pair. So I slide one of them off and hold up to look, then look at the expression his face and realize he's staring at my feet the way other men normally stare at my chest or backside. I blink once then the friend I'm with realizes what's happening, shrieks "Pervert!" and chases him down the street screaming bloody murder at him. We still joke about it to this day, but that was definitely a different sort of experience. LOL

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A random guy messaged me on a dating website, who happens to be an accountant. Here goes his profile:

 

About Me

 

For My Woman:

 

- One woman man

- Opens doors

- Carries heavy stuff

- Kills spiders

- One of the guys but will treat you like a lady

- Will stick up for you if people try to bug you

- Loves to make you laugh

- Wants to see you happy

- Wants to hear what is on your mind

- Will keep your secrets

- Will remember the things you like

- Won't ever lie to you

- Keeps promises

- Good with finances

- Will do your tax return for free

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