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Boyfriend is bored of me? Help!!


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Ok so i wasnt sure where to post this but its been going on for a while and i need to get some feedback.. Or advice from anyone who takes the time to read this please!!!


Ive only ever had one serious relationship. We have been together edging on 8 years now.. And naturally in the beginning it was beautiful and romantic, but like any other relationship there have been ups and downs, hurtful things said in arguments and ive had my fair share of sleeping on the floor.. Within the last year or so it has become exceedingly bad. We have spoken about it but it is always the same argument!!! He says I am boring, i do not entertain him or share his interests enough... I work too much and I am not flirty or sexual enough to "get him going" .. I do alot of oral stuff most nights but our actual sex has come to a halt... With once a month being our base point when once upon a time it was every night... He says he wants me to be more adventurous and he doesnt want to grow old and not have tried stuff.. And i totally understand that.. But the thing is... He will not let me kiss him... I dont even remember the last time we properly kissed.. And he will not let me feel him up, hold him or be physical because he says he is either too hot, not in the mood or that i "cant just dive right in " he wants me to excite him first..

I cant tell if i have just become a boring piece of @&$ .. Or if I have a point in saying how the hell can you excite someone you live with for 8 years... Without being at least a little bit physical?? Ive tried little txt messages but he doesnt really take it seriously.. It becomes us just being silly.


There have been times ive said maybe he should find someone else to satisfy his excitement and maybe he is just bored of me (understandable because 8 years...) but he says that is not the point an that he still loves me but i need to change because "thats all hes asking" but what am i supposed to change? And am i being unreasonable considering im a full time biomed student and the only one of us two who is working currently?


He gets really easily angry too which makes it very difficult for me to peacefully endure so we do have a few snaps at eachother here and again but we are at that comfort lecel now when it just blows over instantaneously... Its just this one boredom argument that we always have.. An im always saying "ill change, we'll fix this" but feeling like a broken record because it happens all the time and i am gettting so frustrated although i love him and am so comfortable with him...


What the hell should I do?? I am SO confused!!! I feel like im unconciously neglecting his needs?? Argh help!!!


TLDR; boyfriend says he is bored of me entertainment wise and sexually,, as a result we have sex sometimes less than once a month. 8 yr relationship.. Love and comfort but sexual frustration!!!

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Kick him to the curb. You haven't changed....he is lazy.

He isn't working and I suspect he is watching porn when you are at school.

He is no longer having sex with you...you are giving him oral.

And you are supposed to excite him without kissing or holding?

He is looking to be entertained sexually.....and nothing more.

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Someone told me once "sex is 10% of the relationship, but 90% of the problem.


This happened to me once, i got bored and lazy with my ex girlfriend, took or for granted. When she'd initiate sex I'd be thinking "ok, then we do this, then this" etc. i wouldn't "kick him to the curb, 8 years is a lot of time invested. Instead try this, stop initiating, it'll be a little while until he starts coming onto you, but sometimes people get bored. You love him clearly, think of it as he's a little sick, time to step up, be there.


When he eventually does initiate sex, which he will, tease him, make him kiss you. Me and my current girlfriend went through this a little bit, i pulled back a bit, she said she was just stressed, tired etc. i pulled back a bit, when i did go for sex, I'd tease her, run my hands all over her but never touch anything. Light kissing on the neck. We did have a talk about it, i just explained that it makes me feel like something is wrong with us. Things are back to normal with us,good luck!

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