Jump to content

My LDR story....I moved 7000 miles for a girl, in LDR of one year, and I get is


Recommended Posts

This one is going to be long, very long. Sorry about it. So the background story at first. Also, on texts I'm gonna blur out half her last name as for identification purposes.

I was(am?) dating this girl, for over a year. We started in December 2013. Everything went very smoothly. We had our ups and downs, some arguments, we both had bumps and nevertheless, we supported each other through it. I tried getting to America in July but couldn't because my toefl results got delayed. She gave me hell for that. She literally gave me an ultimatum "get here before October or else I don't know what I'd do."

Before that, I should mention because I was trying to get to USA, I actually dropped out of my university so I can get there as a freshman and not as a transfer student. One year.


Well, didn't get there in October. She said okay, it's fine, Get here next February okay? I was like yeah sure.

We used to talk a lot, almost all the time on phone/skype/texting. It was perfect, we used to support each other if the other person was having problems. Parents, studying, friends, homework, depression, you name it. It was...perfect. She was a very, very nice girl. Nice, gentle, caring, always there when I needed her. We loved each other. She was ....is....ing perfect. I knew she was the one back then, when I met her. We connected perfectly.

So for past four/five months, I've been trying like a crazy horse, don't get enough sleep(yay for time difference), bank statements, financials, my tests, and everything to get there, I got my visa approved on January 16th, got my passport back on January 22nd, and booked my flight the same day and reached there January 23rd. When she saw me, she pinched my cheeks and said "Hey you have problems with your color!" ...


Now, I'm not white, I look more like whitish-yellow person. This ( link removed Ue9vkz2.jpg ) is how I used to look a couple(maybe 3) years ago [and This is KINDA how I look now link removed JN3jTgR.png (I probably look a bit browner(?) because of light and stuff)


Now, she had tears in her eyes when we were getting coffee. She said it was because it was too cold. I knew something was wrong then, but didn't press.

That night, she went to talk to a friend after she left where I was staying, and I had a hunch she was gonna do that since I knew she left in a kinda hurry and ....since I know her for one whole year I know how she behaves. I can ing read her eyes, I know her so well. so I called her out on it.

her response "I love you but for a successful relationship you should also be physically attractive."


Here is the text I got on my flight, a few hours BEFORE I got there: (Can't post URLS for some reason) link removed / 5yuZPK2.png (licked, not liked)

and it is also the one which breaks my heart.


Here's the album of texts the night I got there and today: link removed a / NFv4w (there are 17/ images)



I was...left stunned. One year, She saw my on skype almost every ing day. Granted it's not the measure of how one looks, but..... She says I'm too small, and Yes, I am small, I'm basically 5'3-5'4 not much strong either, I'm skinny. I told her, that I am 5'3-5'4. For some reason I just don't gain weight. However, I'm still the same ing caring person who's ready to do everything for her. One of her texts " You are being too harsh on me making your small remarks. Making me repeat stuff I don't want. Being upset. I'm trying to be as cheerful as I can but it seems like you want to push me to the like. Like you expect me to say what I will regret later and using my guilt manipulate me"

How the does someone look different when they're on skype than in real life? She could have told me while I was not in an entirely new country....



Anastasia: It is. That is why it's so hard on me. It's easier than on Thursday though 2:57 AM

Me: Why is it easier than on Thursday? 2:57 AM

Anastasia : Dunno. Maybe I had less expectations? 2:58 AM

Me: I'm sorry I'm not white enough for you. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough for you. I'm sorry I'm not...handsome or cute or pretty enough for you. I'm sorry I'm not taller or wide enough for you. I'm sorry if I am not the abi of your imagination. Most of these things can be changed. But I'll tell you what I am. 2:59 AM

Me: I'm someone who left college so he could have a chance of getting to you. I'm someone who went 7000 miles JUST because he could be with you. I'm someone who was looked down by the whole family and everyone who knew me because they didn't think I wa worthy. Why? Because I was trying to get closer to you. I'm someone who spent TWO years doing nothing. Two ing years so I can just have a CHANCE of being next to you. I'm someone who thought he had genuinely fallen in love. 3:02 AM

Me: I'm someone who actually broke fights between family so I can just be with you. Just to ing be with you. And what do I get? "Hey you're not what I imagined. See ya!" 3:02 AM

Me: Next time if we have to carry bags, ill carry the heavier one Kay? 3:03 AM

Anastasia : Why do you do this to me? I don't think you know me so well after all... 3:04 AM

Me: How do I not know you so well? What do I do to you? 3:05 AM

Me: Just yesterday I had a shimmer of hope when you said "I think I can make it work. I'll manage abi!" 3:06 AM

Me: Just a ing shimmer of hope. 3:06 AM

Anastasia : If you knew me you should not have said it... Not the see ya part. You would never had said it.. 3:06 AM



The bag part. I moved from practically a country where the temperature is around 24-25C even in winter. The temperature in NYC was -16C. First time in my life, it was snowing, plus it was ing cold, I couldn't feel my fingers. Yes, I'm not strong and I probably would've gotten tired anyways, and yes I'm not able to carry stuff for long while. I just...I KNOW I am not strong, I know I'm skinny, I know I'm not tall or wide or anything like that.

It was snowing. I've seen snow for the first time in my life. She actually told me that I'd have to see snow my first time with her, now I did... I just wish it was under a different circumstances now.


Right now, I don't know. I'm in a country where I know ing no one, NO ONE. (Maybe on West Coast - california, a couple of people that's about it)...What did I move here for? She says we still "have a chance. It's lower than before but we still do."


It was what she said last night after saying some of those things:


"Anastasia : True but I just need to deal with it. That's why I don't want you to go back. There is a chance that I'll deal well with real you. And doesnet matter how ing much I love virtual you it will never lead to happy ending 7:55 PM"



I had a shimmer of hope, one ing shimmer of hope. I have no idea what to do right now. I wasted two years of my life, I started classes on Jan27th. I'm STILL contemplating moving back to my home country, But I know I'd have to deal with of my parents and other people blaming me and stuff. I ...am tired. Lonely. Scared. Anxious, and kinda suicidal. Kinda. I have a feeling like going to sleep and dreaming and not waking up ever again. Just wanted to rant a bit. sorry about it guys.



Edit: Just got told that "THE FIRST moment I saw you I thought, Oh god I hope it's not him. Then it was all I can't waste my life on this THING ." and "I want my old abi back and I'll never get him back. I'm not the one."

Right now feeling empty and just unsure of stuff. I have no idea what I'm going to do.



Edit 2 : Wow. For 's sake....wow. I...just.... She just texted a friend of hers (She just changed her phone plans so I was checking if she has to pay the termination fee....when I stumbled upon...something) : There is a boy I like at work. And it's too much trouble ecerythinggggggggg I should just go and become a nun

...so either she liked this boy in THREE days I was there...or she liked him while I was hauling my ....ing ass...to get to United States. This....just... tch. f- me right?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow. That's awful and I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like she was in love with some fantasy she had cooked up in her head about you and not with the person who she was skyping with for the last two years. I don't know if you can make this work with her or not but see how it goes. It's only been a few days and that's not long at all.


Even if it doesn't work out with her, you have not wasted all this time and effort. You have a fantastic opportunity to go to school here, meet some new friends and have the experience of a lifetime. It took a lot of hard work and determination for you to get where you are right now and that speaks volumes even if it wasn't exactly for all the right reasons. Don't waste it by going back or pining over her if she doesn't come around. Make the most of what you have and keep moving forward.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is a tough one man, you dont deserve to be treated like you are being treated right now. You demonstrated your commitment to her and she threw everything right back at your face with a lame ass excuse about your physical attractiveness. She knew exactly how you looked based on skype so that's a pathetic excuse on her part. Aparently, the real reason is that she likes someone else and just didn't have the guts to let you down before you spent all the money and time and travelled thousands of miles to be with her. And dont ever apologize for who you are man, she's the one that's ing up big time. Normally i would advise you to just walk away from this but seeing how you're basically stranded in a different country and spent all this time and effort, i would recommend staying at a hotel for a few days just to recollect your thoughts and process this A-bomb that she just dropped on you. Give her a few days as well and then give her a call and arrange a meeting to talk, see where it leads from there.


I personally wouldn't have high expectation from her though, this is not a good start and a weak base to build a good, healthy relationship from, i hope i'm wrong though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cut this horrible girl out. She couldn't be further from perfect, what a horrible, spiteful person. I apologise, I struggle to be objective when this sort of thing bothers me, but the minute she said

get here before October or else I don't know what I'd do.
I knew that her lack of empathy would play a part in whatever the outcome of your OP would be, and I was right.

She may be willing to try, but why would you want to put yourself through that with all the reluctance and disgust she has around it all?

"You have a long way to go before to become who I thought you were" I just can't read anymore. Look, this girl had this image of some fake person in her head and she put all your words in there to give him a voice.


You know what? You're in a new country, maybe the initial reason was for her but it doesn't have to be anymore. You can make new friends, do new things, enjoy this adventure that you are on. So, it took a girl who actually ended up being a bit of a nutcase to get there, so what? You don't have to turn around and go back with your tail between your legs. You're going to find someone who thinks you're beautiful, and won't have to "force" themselves to kiss you or love you. It is silly to even consider her offer of "Let's see how it goes, but don't hate me if I don't fall in love with you!".

If she is feeling obligated, well that's not good enough for you. She is acting the victim here, and you are feeling like the bad guy just because you weren't what she was expecting. You know what she isn't expecting? You to turn around and say "To be honest, you're a little bit off in looks yourself, I'll see you later - good luck with the guy at work."

Some people are unbelievable, and this one is not worth your time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First they wanted the big strong guys then the skinny ones now they dont want the skinny guys anymore. U know what f that nonsense. She couldnt see what u looked like on skype. This was just an ego boost for her, wanting to see if she can make a guy travel accross the world for her. Leave now. Screw that biatch

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First they wanted the big strong guys then the skinny ones now they dont want the skinny guys anymore. U know what f that nonsense. She couldnt see what u looked like on skype. This was just an ego boost for her, wanting to see if she can make a guy travel accross the world for her. Leave now. Screw that biatch


one of the biggest ego boosts in history?




This is why you should meet up before making such a huge life changing decision, make sure there is chemistry, etc


Sorry that you're hurting, but you need to get the hell out my friend, make money, borrow money, and get out and get away from her...you got to see her true colors, and now its time to run!

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...