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Would you date a younger guy?


Di84

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My ex colleague is trying to set me up with this guy that works at her current office. We added each other on facebook last week and he is just my type. And apparently, I am just his type as well. We've spoken a little bit and he seems really nice. I trust my ex colleague's judgment when it comes to setting me up with someone and trust that he is a good guy. He asked me out on a date this weekend and I accepted but there is one thing that kind of bothers me - he is 25 and I am 29 going on 30 in a couple months.

 

Now, I know this is not a HUGE gap in age but in your 20's I find there is a big difference in maturity level between a 25 year old guy and a 29 year old woman. I know not to judge before I even meet him and maybe he is really mature... but just want some thoughts on dating younger men ?

 

Thanks!

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I don't think there is such a difference between 25 and 29 in terms of maturity. It's really an individual thing, not an age thing. You can easily find men well in their 30's and 40's and so on with the maturity of a three year old. I say go meet and judge what's in front you, rather than a number on paper.

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My bf one year younger...no diffence at all except the cougar jokes.

 

haha! Well one year definitely doesn't make a difference!

 

I guess my problem is that I think too far in advance. I know this is a bit pathetic but because I am turning 30 i've started thinking about marriage and having kids. My sister had a really hard time having kids and sometimes I worry that that would happen to me if i try to have children in my late 30's. My concern with dating a younger guy is that he wouldn't be ready for a real commitment and married in a couple years (let's say 2 years?) whereas I would be ready for that. I know i know... I really cannot generalize and say that all younger guys are not ready for that... but most are not. So that kind of worries me.

 

Anyway, I won't make it an issue. I just wanted to hear that other ladies were dating younger guys who have proven to be more mature than older. And yeah... I've dated guys well into their 30's that are pretty immature.

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Yes I would have as long as he was ready for marriage/family in the not too distant future. My friend started dating her husband when he was 23 and she was 28. They've been married over 15 years (they got married 2 years after they started dating). It depends what you're looking for but I wouldn't prejudge the maturity issue.

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I don't think immaturity is the main problem in a relationship like that.

 

Rather, it's the fact of being in different stages of one's life. A women around the age of 30 would want to settle down, whilst guys usually don't.

So you will be looking to have kids and all, whilst the 25 year old is still building his career and or figuring out what to do with his life + enjoy life.

 

It can work though.

 

By the way I met a couple with the guy aged 44 and the girl aged 20 this evening. They were sitting next to me in Spanish class. Now THAT'S an age-gap.

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I don't think immaturity is the main problem in a relationship like that.

 

Rather, it's the fact of being in different stages of one's life. A women around the age of 30 would want to settle down, whilst guys usually don't.

So you will be looking to have kids and all, whilst the 25 year old is still building his career and or figuring out what to do with his life + enjoy life.

 

It can work though.

 

 

By the way I met a couple with the guy aged 44 and the girl aged 20 this evening. They were sitting next to me in Spanish class. Now THAT'S an age-gap.

 

 

 

 

Yeah.. well that's what I meant. Not so much a maturity thing but more about being in different stages of our life. I am ready for marriage and kids and I worry about being in a relationship with someone who after 2 years would decide he is not ready for something serious. Nothing in life is guaranteed of course and I can meet a 35 year old man who will just as well waste the next two years of my life then leave me. So I guess there really is nothing to worry about here. I haven't even met the guy yet and my mind is already thinking about all this! LOL

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I've dated men both younger than me and older, really a lot of it depends on the man. The only time it might be a problem is in a huge age gap where one of the partners is very young and the other one much older, but I think that has more to do with a life experience gap than the age per se. I say give him a chance, the worst that can happen is it won't work out, but the age gap you describe is not a big one.

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In my social circle, I don't know any women in their 30s who have married guys older than they are, they all marry guys younger. I got married at 23 to someone who is 19 days older than me, and several of my friends in the next few years married guys who were 12-24 months younger. By the time we got to 30s, my friends were marrying guys 2 to 7 years younger. Now they have all been married more than a decade, with kids, and everyone seems happy.

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I forgot to mention that when my nephew was 23 he married a 38-year-old woman. They have been married, very happily, for six years.

 

 

Wow! Well that's nice to hear. I guess there are a lot more woman dating younger men than I thought

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I forgot to mention that when my nephew was 23 he married a 38-year-old woman. They have been married, very happily, for six years.

 

Age difference matters little when both parties don't want kids. The OP has stated she does want children, so it is a concern for her. After a certain age having biological children are not viable for women.

 

OP, you haven't even gone on a date yet. Get to it, and bring up attitudes about children to see where is head is at.

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I'm actually targeting women who are a little older than me...in their young/mid 30s. Less drama, more mature, and less risk of "changing."

 

I take it you are ready for something serious?

 

Anyway, you guys are all right. I will definitely meet him and I am hoping we are compatible! I'll keep you all posted.

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I personally would not go on the date. But then I wouldn't go on a date with a guy who is a lot older than me either. My own personal yardstick has always been not to date anybody my younger brother's age or lower because it feels too much like dating in his peer group. I am 31 and my younger brother is 27 so that would fall right on the mark if I were still 29. It seems arbitrary but for me it's a maturity thing, and while I am sure a guy 4 years younger could be just as mature as me, the odds (and my experience) for the most part suggest otherwise.

 

That said, there are many out there for whom this wouldn't make any sort of difference. If you are interested in meeting this guy and think you could hit it off, then go on the date and do so with an open mind. You never know

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I will definitely meet him and I am hoping we are compatible! I'll keep you all posted.

 

Good luck and enjoy yourself! My ex-fiance was younger, and I've dated both younger and older. As others have said, it's really more about maturity and compatibility than numerical age, given that your age difference isn't too extreme.

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I was married to someone 4.5 younger, and have dated someone 7 years younger, and also someone 15 years older. Once you are fully an adult (over 25 or so), age gaps aren't that big a deal if you're compatible on other levels. I 'noticed' the 15 year age gap and felt it a a bit too much, but the 7 and 4.5 year gaps totally didn't factor into anything at all and were not noticeable in any way.

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I know a lot of couples where the woman is 4 years older ... They all started dating at around him23-her27 or some even younger... and they are all still happy together. Some already have kids. I know they all went through some judgments from others (i have been there too although it didn't work out for me), but they survived and proved them wrong

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