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Is he possessive or just confused about me?


Whatto

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I need some advice.

 

I've been dating this guy for 4 months and I have strong feelings her him. Perhaps it may be love. Anyhow, he has expressed in the beginning of the relationship that he does not believe in girls and guys being friends (which I kinda agreed to since most of the time, one of them usually end up having feelings for the other) and he seemed really uncomfortable that I meet up w/ my guys friends from time to time. Note, we have a long distance relationship.

 

One night when I was at my bf's place, one of my guy friend calls me after midnight and I answered the phone. My friend was calling to see if I was out so I told him I'm not and chatted for a minute and hung up the phone.

 

Apparently my bf heard this conversation and days later, he blew up on me. Saying why would a guy call you after midnight and how i can answer the call while lying next to him. He said he was extremely hurt and that he needed to re evaluate our relationship. Its been more than two weeks and he still not sure. I've been calling and texting and most of the time he would ignored them. I've expressed many many times that whenever he ignore my calls, I'm hurt and he promised he wouldnt do it again. But he did it AGAIN! What am I suppose to do? Let him cool down or let him go?

 

Also, when we do talk he tells me how much he loves me and how he can see himself marrying me but so confused on his actions since he has been ignoring me for weeks!! Is he playing me? I'm so confused.........advice?

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Jealous people lack self-confindence, self-esteem, it is not your fault, got nothing to do with you, what you do, who you meet, who calls you and when, you can t fix that, he will never change he will always be this possessive and jealous and suspicious and will make your life a living hell, you will your spend your time explaining every small detail of your actions that he will find suspicious... because he will constantly needs you to reasure him that you only belong to him, like an object or something. Being possessive/jealous has nothing to do with love.

Love is never desperate or needy or suspicious...

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I think you should be the one to re-evaluate your relationship, and drop him like it's hot.

True, some people believe that men and women cannot be just friends, while others (myself included, based on my own experience) believe they can. If a guy I was dating told me to end a friendship with a guy friend only because he was insecure and paranoid, I'd stop dating him. What's next, is he going to tell me how to dress, where I can and cannot go?? No way Jose! So the first issue in your relationship with this guy is that you have opposite opinions on an important subject, therefore you two are not a good match.

 

Secondly, ignoring you? Heck no, this wouldn't fly with me. How old is this guy? Again, acting like a self entitled kid and not communicating with you like an adult is yet another reason for you to give him the boot.

 

Life is too short to put up with this kind of bull.

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First of all you need to set your boundaries. With your friends and with your BF.

Second - if you have guy-friends, but you don't believe in friendship between a guy and a girl, and you told your BF that, I can see why he is pissed. So you think this guy friends of yours either have feelings for you or you have feelings for them.

He behaves very immaturely, I wont waste my time with him. For future relationships - don't tell you wanna-be BF that you don't believe in pure friendship between two sexes, and then go and meet your "guy friends" or answer when they call you in the middle of the night. That IS confusing.

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Hah, sorry no guy "friend" is going to be calling after midnight, unless something urgent happened. So I agree with your boyfriend's sentiment. However being passive aggressive about it and blowing up days later is immature.

 

Dump him, two weeks is long enough to figure something like this out. He is just being passive aggressive and manipulative now, stop calling and texting him and I guarantee he will blow up at you for not doing so; because he no longer able to get the satisfaction of ignoring you.

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First of all you need to set your boundaries. With your friends and with your BF.

Second - if you have guy-friends, but you don't believe in friendship between a guy and a girl, and you told your BF that, I can see why he is pissed. So you think this guy friends of yours either have feelings for you or you have feelings for them.

He behaves very immaturely, I wont waste my time with him. For future relationships - don't tell you wanna-be BF that you don't believe in pure friendship between two sexes, and then go and meet your "guy friends" or answer when they call you in the middle of the night. That IS confusing.

 

 

You're right. I did mess up on this part. I usually dont get call late from a dude - this time was an exception. I told I might be out late that night and I told him I might call him to hangout. No, I dont think he has feelings for me and I definitely dont have ANY feelings for this guy. We never had any history so its pure friendship.

 

Lastly, I never said I dont believe in boy/girls being friends...I just said I can stop talking to them since they are not really my close friends. I valued our retationship more vs my male friends. But apparently this doenst seem to matter w/ this guy.

 

I know everyone is telling me to drop it but its so hard when you thought he was the one for you and especially if the guy said the same thing too.

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Hah, sorry no guy "friend" is going to be calling after midnight, unless something urgent happened. So I agree with your boyfriend's sentiment. However being passive aggressive about it and blowing up days later is immature.

 

Dump him, two weeks is long enough to figure something like this out. He is just being passive aggressive and manipulative now, stop calling and texting him and I guarantee he will blow up at you for not doing so; because he no longer able to get the satisfaction of ignoring you.

 

 

Satisfaction? Is this a control thing? I almost felt like he was punishing me for what I did but I'm in denial.

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