Is she attracted to my friend and lying to me?

[denzelfrost]

Hey guys, just after some opinions on my situation.

I have been with my girl for 5 years now and have never suspected her of cheating, she is very friendly and outgoing and gets on great with all my friends.

The other night we were at a party, I was the sober driver and she had had a few drinks, and was openly flirting with one of my friends. For about the last hour before we left she pretty much talked mainly to him, touching his leg and arms, laughing at his dumb jokes, whispering in his ear etc. What also annoyed me was he was giving me as well, acting all alpha by trying to make me get him a beer, and when I refused, she would go get him one. At the time I laughed it off, but when I got home I began to think about it more. I recalled that in the past I had thought maybe she was attracted to him, not so much from open flirting, but she was always asking about what he was doing, did he have a girlfriend?, wanting to invite him around to other gatherings, giving him a hug when she saw him but not other guys, up until now I hadn't thought much of it.

Later that night I quietly asked her straight out if she was attracted to him, and told her what I had seen, she denied it and went crazy, saying I was accusing her of being a , that he was flirting with her, etc. She eventually apologised to me for the way she had acted, and again denied she was attracted to him, but the way she overreacted when I asked her makes me believe she is lying, I would of thought most people would laugh it off. Now she is acting like she feels guilty about something, and does'nt want to go to an upcoming birthday party which this guy will be at.

 

What do you think?, have I just answered my own question?, what to do from here?

Thanks in advance.

[Angrybirds]

Hello,

 

I can only go by what you have described, but yes I would agree she was flirting with him and is maybe attracted to him. (Based on the nights events you described, the ways she asks about him a lot, and her 'fly off the handle' reaction).

 

I guess you're more thinking: how is gonna gonna act upon her attraction? Will she start something with him? Does he like her too? Will she leave me?

 

Unfortunately these are all questions you'll never get the answer to. All you can do is judge it for what it is: she might think this guy is attractive. Just the way men think other women are hot, or celebs are hot etc etc. it's just admiring someone's looks.

 

She has a relationship with you... She loves you... I assume you two are otherwise happy and she's affectionate and loving etc? If she is, then don't worry too much.

 

If I were in your situation, I would explain to my partner that how they acted made me feel very uncomfortable... And that it has raised suspicions in my mind.

 

Get your partner to just simply listen, and understand where you are coming from (without attacking her!).

Ask that she is more respectful in future when this guy is around.

 

Also ask her if she's happy with your relationship? Speak to each other and see if there's areas in your relationship you both want to work on....? The reason why I say that is because if you have a strong, wonderful partnership then the chances of someone straying are very unlikely!! Lots of people look at the opposite sex and think 'yum!' but that is just a passing thought because they have a partner they adore.... The thought doesn't linger, therefore nothing comes of it.

 

However if they are unhappy in a relationship, the 'yum' thought can linger and multiply.

 

Check your relationship is all good, and you don't have to worry!!

 

Good luck

[denzelfrost]

thanks for the advice. I was not upset that I thought she was attracted to him, we are only human, but because I feel she lied to me about it

[uniqueme]

Hope she regrets her actions and you both can patch things up