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How long i have to wait for her???


leedoberman

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Hi people, i need your advice.

I started dating one girl 19 months ago. We fell in love each other, but she had boyfriend.

They were together seven years at that time.After some time she broke up with him because of her (she was not so happy with him, she was happier with me at that moment) and because of me because i truly love her and she wanted me.

Now it is one year after their breakup, but she has still in head him, and also me. That is the reason why we cannot have relationship. She dont want to hurt him by our relationship.

Please help me, i really need some advice. I asked her many times, when we will have relationship, and every time she answered me that i have to wait.

She said today she want have her head clean to one year. I really want her and it makes me angry when she dont want have relationship with me because of him. She told me few times i am not normal, because i am angry.

It is too much waiting to get her head clean...

She wants to be friends with her ex, because she says he is special to her. And i see when i am trying tu push her to this relationship, she becames cold and tells me things like- i am not that person she wanted,

because i still push her...

Help me please...

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You're crossing over boundaries buddy, you need to stop pressuring her its incredibly unattractive and shows a relationship with you will be a controlling and unhealthy. If she really matters that much to you, you'll wait as long as it takes.

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7 years is a long long time, especially at the age of 19. She likely needs to adjust to the idea of being without him before she can be with you. In all honesty, that could take months, maybe years. At your age I would say you would be better off exploring other options rather than waiting. You can leave the door open with her, but don't hold your breath.

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Yeah, thanks for replies very much! It started because she was not very happy in relationship with him (sexual attraction disappeared, they have not any same hobby, different lives) but she feeled sure with him, then I came- we have almost every hobby same, great sexual attraction and great understanding each other-thats why she broke up with him. The problem is- also after year of their breakup, she needs to know if he is going ok, she goes visit to him because she takes care about him. And this makes her more confused i think.

Also when i mention him in something bad for example- why is he still calling her to came to some party at him etc. she starts to protect him. Everytime she protects him.And one more thing- she really admire him.

So what do you think? Why she just dont do no contact? I know it is hard to do this after those years, but she planned many things with me all 19 months,but as waiting is going longer i loose faith in her, because I am waiting and i feel like a second option and this made me more angrier and all thing got worse than before...what do you think? I am really second option here??? Thanks for your posts mates- it makes me less confused...

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And one more thing. We made deal yesterday about this all. She gave ultimatum one month. To make her head more clean and after ultimatum she will tell me if she wants me really. After your help i started thinking more like- i do not care so much like before...do you think this will make it all better?

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