Three day text rule?! Guys do you do this?

[cherryblossom2]

Hey everyone,

 

Without going into too much info, had a great first date with a guy lasted 8 hours. Had a cheeky kiss at the end, all went well. Guy asked me out for another date in the week (on the date) and then afterwards asked what I was doing the next day (Sunday) I said I was cool to meet up. The next day he sent me a lovely message in the morning, asking how I am saying he had a dodgy stomach from the night before but said he had a great time with me and said he was hoping I would be free this week to meet again. I said I would like that. He said fantastic speak soon. Not heard anything since?! So I'm wondering if he is following the three day rule to not seem too keen or just not interested?!

 

Do you guys follow the 3 day rule? Is this some kind of unspoke rule between you men?

 

x

[greta96]

I'm not a guy but I can tell you from my experience that yes, some guys still follow that silly rule LOL. So lame and such a huge turn off...

[Kendahke]

I've never heard of a 3 day rule.

 

If you want to text him, then text him. If you don't, then don't.

[cherryblossom2]

Thanks guys, I don't think I'm going to text him. From my point of view that's his job to get in touch to arrange the next date. If I text him I think it could slightly border of desperate. I did think of just sending him a small text saying hope you're feeling better, but decided against it?! What do you think?

[annie24]

I get the impression he may be dating multiple women. Which is ok at this stage. I would just say hi, and maybe ask when he wants to go out again. I don't think it's desperate because he brought it up.

[Kendahke]

Thanks guys, I don't think I'm going to text him. From my point of view that's his job to get in touch to arrange the next date. If I text him I think it could slightly border of desperate. I did think of just sending him a small text saying hope you're feeling better, but decided against it?! What do you think?

 

That could also be construed as you not having any interest in him.

 

Gameplaying in all of its forms is, at the end of the day, more destructive than just being honest and organic about it. You like him and would like to see him again. Let him know that. You don't have to write a dissertation to him to convey that. No need to open a vein and bleed here. Just a "hey, hope you're feeling better.. would very much like to see you again..." That's honest, that's the truth and it could get you the response you're after.

[cherryblossom2]

I don't think he is seeing multiple women (though of course I could be wrong) just don't get that impression with him at all. He has been faily transparent with his plans, and was very honest and open in our date. I guess I just don't want to 'push' him, I'm not a fan of taking the lead with guys becasue always in the past it has ended up badly. Plus I have this thing that I hate to look desperate! But I haven't really initiated anything so far, so I guess a simple hey, hope you are feeling better isn't too bad. I guess if he doesn't reply then I have my answer. Beats playing games I guess.

[missmarple]

I don't think that a guy who follows that rule would ask you to go out on the very next day of the date.

[cherryblossom2]

Yeah very true Miss M

[greta96]

I read your other post and I also think he's dating around. You just cannot base any opinion upon their FB, most people try to project a different persona on FB than they are in reality.

 

I wouldn't contact him at this point. If he's interested, rest assured he won't just forget about you, if he felt the same way you did about your first date. Him being sick may or may not be true, but it is known that people who date around online can at any second come accross a profile they like more, and change the plans they already had just to see what the new person is like.

 

Just be patient and wait and see his actions. If he's interested he will contact you, I'm sure he knows you are interested in seeing him again.

[cherryblossom2]

Ok great - I'll wait then Thanks

[cherryblossom2]

Do you think that if I haven't heard anything by Wednesday evening I can assume he isn't interested? From my point of view he has a limited window, because if he randomly gets in touch a week later as far as I'm concerned that's a big strike against his name and game over.

[fifregister]

Not sure I follow. If he followed up the next day after your date (assuming that was your first date) why would he THEN follow some 3-day rule?

[cherryblossom2]

Ha I see what you mean. No he followed up the next day, but he just hasnt been in touch yet to actually set the 2nd date up yet..

[Kendahke]

Do you think that if I haven't heard anything by Wednesday evening I can assume he isn't interested? From my point of view he has a limited window, because if he randomly gets in touch a week later as far as I'm concerned that's a big strike against his name and game over.

 

Trust your own judgement and do what you think is right.

[Batya33]

I think your wait was over the minute you said goodbye to him. Unless there is a second date planned, time and place, then assume-in a realistic way, not a negative way -that there is no second date. There is no "waiting". Rather, you move on with your life and if he wants to firm up plans for a second date he will call you to do so and if he doesn't then he doesn't. But in the meanwhile you're not waiting because there never was a reason to "wait'. I think it's fine if he calls you sometime in the next day or so to make plans for the weekend or sometime next week to make plans for the following weekend. I could see where if he waits over a week to get in touch that you might not want to see him again.

[cherryblossom2]

Well I decided to cut out the games and sent him a nice simple text asking if he was feeling better, he messaged me back almost straight away. Was really upbeat and postive, his messages are quite long which is a good sign. Told me about his week, and stuff going on with work (unprompted by me!) and 2nd text he asked for the next date!! So all set now!

 

I spoke to a few guys and they said cut out the games, you're not asking for marriage if he likes you will be happy to hear from you and looks like it's worked for me! Sometimes it pays to take a risk...though I won't be instigating things all the time though but for now it looks like it's working! A lot of guys I've spoken to like it when a girl shows interest. They need a bit of encouragement sometimes!

[Batya33]

I don't think he needed any encouragement. He knows you are interested in seeing him again. I think he would have asked you out anyway and it's nice that you reached out to check up on him.

[Live-N-Learn]

I can only speak for myself but if I am interested in a girl I tell her at the end of the date that I would like to see her again. If she gives a positive response, I usually follow up when I get home or the next morning with a text reiterating that I enjoyed meeting. I then send a text again in a few days asking her out again. At this point I still am not sure if she was just saying she would be interested and being polite or if she really meant it.

 

I can tell you if I like her, I would be pleasantly surprised to have her send me a random email or text within those 48 hours after the date. TBH, this helps me feel a little more confident in asking her out again.

[cherryblossom2]

I won't be making a habit of initiating all contact. But in this case, seeing as he was defo ill I think it was the right thing to do plus his responses were really, really positive. But he is a happy/friendly guy so always hard to tell with guys like this ha! But still he was asking questions and divulging things about his week which would suggest he is interest. Only time will tell. But 2nd date is the end of the week.