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One month NC


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The only way I've been able to stop myself is because the last email I sent made it absolutely clear I wasn't interested in being her friend after what she'd done. There is no way for me to contact her without swallowing all my pride, which I couldn't and wouldn't do.

Doesn't stop me wondering if she'll call and apologise though.

3 months since the breakup.

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The only way I've been able to stop myself is because the last email I sent made it absolutely clear I wasn't interested in being her friend after what she'd done. There is no way for me to contact her without swallowing all my pride, which I couldn't and wouldn't do.

Doesn't stop me wondering if she'll call and apologise though.

3 months since the breakup.

 

I did this only yesterday after nine weeks after breakup.. She called several times to just catch up, and I wasnt firm about my boundaries. Now I made a clear text in which I asked not to contact anymore unless she ever changes her mind. Which I guess will never happen.

 

Life sucks for me too, I'm a complete and utter mess and I really dont wanna continue living if it is a life without her. I sure hope I get over myself soon

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I am 1 year and 2 weeks solid NC. I honestly don't know how I did it...I really don't. I'd say I'm mostly over my ex...I'm just lonely, which makes it hard to get rid of any lingering feelings for her. 5 years (and living together for 3 of those years) is a long time.

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we've been broken up about 7 weeks, and it's been about 9 days of absolutely NC, though before our very brief conversation 9 weeks ago it had been nearly 3 weeks! It's definitely hard but I'm a much happier person when I'm not speaking to him, it's way too easy to misinterpret a text or phonecall, and what u dont know cant hurt you so im better off not knowing if he's dating etc!

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Broke up N.Y EVE, NC for 29 days and I was doing much better, then a Happy Birthday tx from her and my head flooded with all the emotions again......Back to square one on the 29th Jan now been NC for another 6 days and feel awful.....I guess I just have to ride this crazy roller coaster praying that it will end soon....be strong everyone and good luck x

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That's so strange, why do you think she would be calling.

 

Like deejay74, 4 months after BU, 1 month of strict NC.

 

Today my ex called me 5 times and I didn't answer. It was hard not to but I feel proud of myself because it made me feel a little bit stronger

 

This sucks. We had some really good conversations over coffee post breakup. We spoke about this maybe not being forever, etc. The last thing she told me before she left for the circus was to keep in touch, and it looked like she really meant it.

 

A week later she was with the guy she'd been spending all her time with before the breakup. And I realised then why we'd been drifting apart, that what she'd been doing with had long ago become emotional cheating. It explained why the last four months of the relationship I'd been feeling so undermined.

 

There wasn't really any option but NC after that And I hate it because before he came along we had a healthy, happy relationship

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Hugs for you Aaron. About cleo's ex that has been calling five times: mine also did call three times last week bc she was bored/ lonely i suppose. She did not have any intention whatsoever to reconcile.

 

Ghandi once said “the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong” the people here ARE strong! We forgive our exes and sometimes hope they come back but when they dont... it comes down to a matter of self respect and forgiving ourselves

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I guess the true test would be - could we actually forgive them if they came back?

I think my answer would depend on whether she'd changed. Would she still be selfish? Would she still hide things that upset her from me? Would she tell me when there was something she wanted more out of the relationship?

Or would she still be the same selfish person that's unable to communicate with people she loves when they do things that upset her?

The other day I realised I should have seen this coming. About a year before the breakup my ex had this massive blow up with her best friend - all about stuff that she'd just been keeping bottled up or venting to me about. I didn't really mind because the best friend was a user, and it wasn't a healthy friendship.

Since she's jumped straight into a new relationship, I doubt she's learnt anything.

 

Ghandi once said “the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong” the people here ARE strong! We forgive our exes and sometimes hope they come back but when they dont... it comes down to a matter of self respect and forgiving ourselves
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You really hit me with the communication thing. My ex also did not communicate anything that upset her. Or we would communicate, and I got over it and went back to loving her, while she just build up these things and then decided that because of this she could no longer love me. I had zero chance at improving myself or fixing my faults.

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Guys, about not communicating. I think my ex won here. Two weeks prior bu he posted on his tumblr "i could actually go ahead and do it #noresponsibility #free". At the times I asked what it meant and he brushed it off saying nothing and i had no suspicions. It hurts so much.

 

Hugs to ya'll little kitties, things will get better.

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That's crazy o.O It really shows how immature some people are, that they think that's how relationships work. That if they just ignore these things they'll go away. Its just crazy.

 

 

Guys, about not communicating. I think my ex won here. Two weeks prior bu he posted on his tumblr "i could actually go ahead and do it #noresponsibility #free". At the times I asked what it meant and he brushed it off saying nothing and i had no suspicions. It hurts so much.

 

Hugs to ya'll little kitties, things will get better.

 

I know at one point we were fairly good at communicating. It just stopped when the other guy came onto the scene, giving her another should to about me too I guess.

 

Worst part is, I outright asked her two weeks before we broke up whether her going to the circus was about more than just that. It took me the rest of the night prise out of her all the problems she had with me/the relationship. And I thought I'd convinced her to give me a chance to work on them (we had two months before she left for circus).

 

But over the next two weeks, while I tried my hardest to show her things could change, she just withdrew. Wouldn't sit next to me on the couch, wouldn't cuddle in bed, cancelled going dancing because she had a 'sore eye' and then went and hung out with her acrobatic partner (the real reason she didn't want to do long distance for a few months, btw). It was like two weeks of slow torture, where I was doing everything I could but she wasn't trying at all

 

Then she told me she needed space to think over the long weekend instead of taking the holiday we'd been planning for months. We had one last good night before that weekend, when she was her old self. When she came back, it was over.

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yes, exactly because of the guy. I think mine would never leave if the new girl didn't appear on the horizon. I think this is exactly why this is so disgusting. I think they thought about leaving but new people gave them courage to do so. And I can't respect them for that. Because they are not even strong enough just to leave

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Yeah, its pretty gross. And it means they don't learn anything either. Hope it all falls to pieces for them in the future! I'm being awful and hoping everything just blows to crap for my ex. Because she's now dating:

- Someone she's living with

- someone she's working with

- Someone her entire 'career' as an acrobat relies on

- And someone who is both a rebound and someone she cheated on me with (even if just emotionally)

 

 

So I'm letting myself think nasty thoughts by hoping karma bites like a .

 

Worst thing is, communication broke down between both of us when this guy came onto the scene. And in hindsight I can see it was because that's exactly what emotional cheating does to a relationship. It just undermines the whole thing.

 

yes, exactly because of the guy. I think mine would never leave if the new girl didn't appear on the horizon. I think this is exactly why this is so disgusting. I think they thought about leaving but new people gave them courage to do so. And I can't respect them for that. Because they are not even strong enough just to leave
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Yeah my ex said she 'tried' to make it work but just like your ex, she really didn't. The withdrawing, not kissing anymore, not cuddling, even not talking about what bothered her anymore I've had it all. It was so unrespectful. I still think she did not try AT ALL and that's what I said her but she doesn't agree. F*ck that.

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Mine realises she stopped trying at least. When she left she told me I'd been a wonderful boyfriend, and she'd been a terrible girlfriend. Didn't understand what she meant by that until much later

 

Worst part is I can see she WAS trying BEFORE we talked. It was only after we talked, and she had this whole prospect of running off to the circus with this other guy that she decided she couldn't be ed.

 

Yeah my ex said she 'tried' to make it work but just like your ex, she really didn't. The withdrawing, not kissing anymore, not cuddling, even not talking about what bothered her anymore I've had it all. It was so unrespectful. I still think she did not try AT ALL and that's what I said her but she doesn't agree. F*ck that.
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