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I think my best friends might be trying to ruin our relationship


MaryPoppins017

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So I just recently entered into a relationship after being rejected by him three times, he finally admitted that he liked me but said that he needed some time to get to know me and we started to get to know each other more intimately. One day, he kissed me and one of my best friends (they're sisters) noticed and tried to push him into making things official, so she started talking to him and telling him what he had to do and we got into a fight, he said some mean things and then out of nowhere, he said he was raped by some girl when he was younger and he compared me to the girl, I was so shocked and hurt by the news that I didn't know what to say, we stopped talking for about three days then he finally got the guts to talk to me. He said that the whole rape thing was a test, to see if I would be with him no matter how messed up he was, he also told me that he thought he was bisexual but he said that he loved me and that things wouldn't be the same if I left him. I accepted him and told him that I had my experiences with sexual curiosity and we took the next step and made it official. Since my best friends(one of them was more understanding than the other) don't trust him because of the test he put me through, which hurt me immensely just as my lack of response hurt him, she has been trying to find ways to get him to dump me. His family is very religious and he's afraid to tell his family that he's bisexual, I told him that his sexuality is his problem and that his family has to be understanding of it, sometimes he goes as far as to say he's gay, he becomes very depressed and says he's going to kill himself so he doesn't deal with his family's judgement, all I say is that if he's gay then I have no problem with setting him free so he can go explore more of his sexuality but, as always, he says he can't leave me because nothing would be the same without me. My friend over heard this and started to bug him about it then she started to "read" his palm and something she said to him really disturbed him, she told him he was gonna end up being gay and there was nothing he could do about it. In class, he flat out dumped me and said that he couldn't be with me anymore and that he was going to kill himself when he got home. I'm very mad at my friend for ruining my relationship with him, I really love this guy and I honestly don't see myself without him now. I've been praying and praying but i've never received an answer and if I have, I can't see a response.

 

I'm sorry for such a long post but I felt like I had to get it off my chest. I don't know what to do, I trust him implicitly and I know he trusts me too. Any advice is welcome, I need it so I know what my next step should be.

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It does sound like your friends are starting drama and bullying him.

 

That said, he isn't boyfriend material. He's threatening to kill himself when upset. He needs therapy. Also, he isn't bisexual if he admits he is gay when under duress.

 

You can be a friend to him, but he isn't a viable romantic partner.

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I've got nothing to say, but why are you even after this guy? He's mental, you do know that right? He rejected you three times then decided it'd be better to lie and manipulate you and spin stories to watch how you react to them and to see how far you'll crawl to take more of his crap. Best friends aren't the problem here, you pursuing a guy who has serious mental and emotional problems and I'm not talking about his sexuality, I'm talking about his actions. When someone threatens to kill themselves and does it to upset others that means they have serious, serious issues of the "he needs to go to therapy and date no one until he's got his head in a far, far better place." Your friends see him for what he is, I'd listen to them.

 

Also when someone rejects you the first time don't keep pursuing them. That's slapping a target on your forehead for people to deliberately use your desperation against you to hurt you, which is exactly what he did.

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He used something as serious as rape to test you. Test you for what? The offchance that you would love him if that had happened? What is the point of that?

His sexuality is definitely up and down as well, don't even go there until he has figured that one out. He threatens suicide, and blames it on you and your friends. Well, if you were to believe him or that you'd be on instant eggshells constantly with him in fear of him threatening you with that again. He is also attempting to separate you from your friends by causing this rift whenever they speak to him.

 

Your friends can probably see the millions upon millions of redflags with this guy and are just trying to help. However they are being ridiculously immature about it and are actually pushing you and him together more than making you realise what this guy is really like.

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This guy is someone you should be running very, very fast from. Appreciate the fact that he's dumped you as a message from whoever you pray to; and understand and run with that message.

 

You all sound very young, otherwise I'd be telling you to find some more mature friends, too.

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