What kinda relationship is this? Need your advice

[foxsummer7]

Hello,

Please bear with the long stories but I want to give the details about the guy I'm seeing for 6 months now.

 

- met him from online dating site 6 months ago.

- Been seeing each other for almost 6months now

- We never do outdoor activities anymore since 4 months ago

- Yes we’ve been intimate for 4months now, I did rejected him 3 times during the first few months dating him

- He doesn’t hold my hand in public, he only did once and no more

- He never call in these 6 months, the only method he communicates is Whatsapp!!

- He told me meeting once or twice a week is not enough for him, he said he needs me. But he never makes the effort to see me.

- He thinks I’m not interested in him. It’s hard to tell him about this because he doesn’t talk much in text or even in person.

- When I am with him at his place, he always text or look at his phone. And he flips his phone so I don’t see the screen.

- When we meet, he just hugs me. Not more than that.

- I told him before, I want him to text me more often, and he only did for few days after that he doesn’t text anymore maybe only once a week. and he told me it’s making him sad because he was busy and I told him he doesn’t even care to say hi.

- We still hv sex when we meet sometimes I do refuse, and he always kisses me on the forehead when he thinks I’m asleep.

- When I was sick, I texted him just to see his reaction, he didn’t even care to say ‘get well soon’ or ‘take good care of yourself’. Instead, he said ‘NASTY’!

- Because I think he’s probably talking to someone, I checked the site where we met, and I saw that he didn’t delete his dating profile and is still online!

- Sometimes he said things that kinda hurt my feelings and he didn't say sorry.

- He goes to cinema and Winter Wonderland with his ‘friend’ but when I said I wanna go to Winter Wonderland with him, he ask me to go with my friends. Do guys go to cinema with guy friend??

- I once asked him, did you go with your ‘girlfriend’?? and he replied by saying I known her since uni, she’s my friend(with mad emoticon)! HE CAN GO OUT AND WATCH CINEMA WITH HIS FRIEND BUT NOT ME???

- He drunk texted me few times saying I should come to his place he need me. That one obviously makes me mad because he makes me look like a booty call.

- Should I just leave him before it’s too late??? Does he really like me or am I just a person he spend time when he’s bored?? Yes we have communication issue, I tried to tell him but he always hv excuses. He makes his busy job as an excuse and he said he’s feeling stress. I am stress too and I am busy too.

 

 

Please, i need our opinion. Sorry the post is a bit too long.

It's been 6 months, and no progress. day by day he become more lazy to make effort or to go out for normal date.

The only thing we do is watch TV and cuddle on the sofa. It's not like I don't enjoy quiet night, but we need to go outdoor more too because it's getting more and more boring and stressfull for me

[chr8st8na]

I only read to number 4 ... you are getting used and that's all you need to know to leave

[missmarple]

It's not a relationship. It's a prolonged booty call.

[toby4]

yeah im sorry to tell you this guy is shallow, he's in it for sex and you deserve better than that from someone

[DancingFool]

A) No he doesn't care about you one bit. See "NASTY" comment for proof if you need it.

B) He is only using you, see still looking for someone else, using the dating site actively

C) Sounds a lot like you are just on the side and he actually has a relationship - see not going out, never talking to you except very limited interaction through whatsapp, etc.

 

Yes, you do need to walk away and should have done so a long time ago. Quit wasting your time on this.

[foxsummer7]

Thanks everyone for your reply,

Yeah, I've been thinking to leave him since few months ago but idk why I'm still staying.

I've been ignoring him now for 2 weeks, I'm going away for vacation and I will let him know I gv up.

[savignon]

You don't need to break your no contact streak to tell him you're not going to contact him. That in an of itself is a mixed message. Just move on. He'll figure it out.

[mg22]

Wow what a character, i think you know the answer .. hes not a bit interested and seems he enjoys stringing you along. Get rid of this loser.

[catfeeder]

You don't need to break your no contact streak to tell him you're not going to contact him. That in an of itself is a mixed message. Just move on. He'll figure it out.

 

This. You don't need to say a word, just stop the contact and move forward.

[Rosti87]

I cosign all the above responses.

[foxsummer7]

Thanks again everyone for your reply.

[fifregister]

OP - let me answer your question with a question:

 

"I'd been 'dating' someone for 6 months. We only communicate on whatsapp. He does things without me which I've shown interest in doing. We don't really do any activities outside. He once texted me but only while drunk for a booty call."

 

What kind of advice would you give me?

[goodheartlady]

The question you should be asking yourself:

 

"Why is my self esteem so low that I allow someone to treat me this way for 6 months?"

 

As adults, we have control over our decisions. You did not walk out when you could. That is your problem.