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Should I even try again? Am I being an idiot?


jalways44

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I hung out with a guy for 3 months in the summer, it didn't work out. Long distance was an issue, plus he had some baggage with his ex. He was still grieving their breakup. I decided what he was giving me wasn't good enough. I was making all the effort, calling him, flying to see him, etc. We both decided to end things back in September.

 

Long story short, he started communicating with me again beginning of December, he is making a huge effort now. We facetime every night, we talk all the time. He even came to DC and hung out with me this past weekend. We had a really good time. He was very affectionate, held my hand most of the time, cuddled etc. I asked him last night, if he would want a relationship one day and he said not right now. I also saw on his facebook page some girl he met over the weekend posted on his wall and it made me mad. I asked him about it and he said it would his friends sister or something. I know we are not exclusive but i'm really trying to protect my heart here. He broke my heart 3 months ago and i'm scared of getting involved with him again and him doing it all again. Why is he making such a huge effort with me now if he doesn't want it to go anywhere. It can't be all about sex because he lives so far away, he easily find someone there to have sex with.

 

My question is should I even go there again? Also why is he trying now?

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But I don't even live close to him, why would he make this effort with a girl that lives 500 miles away. Maybe I'm just making excuses for him...

 

Yes, you're making excuses for him.

 

He's TOLD YOU he doesn't want a relationship. He's having sex with you. Therefore, what you have is a no-strings casual sex FWB relationship.

 

If this isn't what you want -- and I'm guessing it's not -- then you'd do best to protect yourself and stop seeing him now, before you get even more hurt down the line.

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Agree with all of the above. He's making an effort because its paying off....he tells you he doesn't want a relationship but gets to sleep with you anyway. Win for him.

You made all of the effort and had way more invested the first time around. Nothing sufficient enough could possibly have changed in a matter of 4 months and he's also telling you flat out he doesn't want a relationship.

You're allowing him to waste your time.

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I'm just going to ignore him for a bit. Give him space, if he comes back then I'm gonna have a talk with him. I guess this is the test right. The saying is if you let him go and he comes back then he's yours, if he doesn't then he's not your's. I guess we shall see what happens. If he comes back, do you guys think i should have the talk with him, like he needs to make up his mind about what he wants???

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