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The perks of being too receptive..


vix8

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Dating an awesome guy, we are probably soul mates. I have a feeling this is my issue, because I feel this way towards everyone, but I always expect my boyfriend to be more receptive than my friends. I'm an incredibly receptive person. If someone texts me or calls me, I will ALWAYS get back to them. It is very important to me that I do, but it is also very important to me that the other person does as well, otherwise I feel unappreciated. I never ask my friends, but when it comes to my boyfriend I always ask him why he didn't respond. I have a huge pet peeve with the excuse I forgot, or I passed out. I hate when he tells me he's going to say good morning and good night to me every day, but then makes those excuses on some days. Like if you can't manage to type a simple text before you close your eyes or open your eyes, then don't promise me that. I understand morning you might be late for something.. but really.. night time? It's not that hard to forget when it's a routine. Maybe it's just me... I check my phone before I go to sleep every night.

 

I also can't stand if I send a text, and they took a long time to answer, but then I send another one and my boyfriend will only answer the last text I sent. Example of last night:

We were talking about what we were watching and ended with him saying "oh interesting"

I said "I'll send it to you"

Then I mentioned something funny that was in the short clip and no response.

Then 2 hours later I asked "Did you fall asleep on me again?

Then I went to bed an hour later and said "Well goodnight

Then he texts me an hour later while I'm sleeping and says "Goodnight *insert pet name*

He get up for work very early and I got no good morning, so I said "Good morning, what happened last night?"

He says "I passed out lol"

 

I'm more upset at the fact he didn't explain he passed out when he apparently woke up and said goodnight to me. It's like I had to assume something, but I'm done assuming in relationships, so I just flat out asked. And then I was upset that he didn't even say good morning back. We've been dating for like 3 months, started this routine like a month ago... It's not even the out of routine that bothers me, it's the lack of him being receptive to my texts. He never calls me either, I always call him like 3 times a month. It's not like I'm annoying. Call me sensitive, but saying goodnight and good morning mean the world to me. And responding to everything I say means the world to me too. I respond to everything he does and says.

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You are expecting way too much.

 

Because YOU have a belief system about being "receptive" to texts doesn't mean everyone else does.

And your expectations become wearisome.

 

Your bf doesn't respond to the first text because he knows it will just start a conversation...about nothing. So, if he ignores it until he is ready, he can

expect several of them. Your constant texting, and then texting about why he isn't texting....makes your texts very low priority in his day.

 

Try texting LESS.

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Instead of all the texting, have a phone chat two or three nights a week where you have a real conversation and say goodnight. Then he can have some nights "off" where he can watch TV or whatever and not worry that he's disappointing you.

I think you're expecting too much but can adjust your expectations to better suit his personality. It has to be a compromise...not you getting what you want the way you like it every time.

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And again, EXPECTING someone to behave the way YOU want them to behave, and not what comes naturally to them, is not going to work in the long run.

 

 

I also can't stand if I send a text, and they took a long time to answer, but then I send another one and my boyfriend will only answer the last text I sent

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What you call receptive, a lot of people (not all) would call needy, annoying, demanding, unreasonable, etc. You have two choices, either adjust your expectations or find someone who is exactly like you in that regard. Meaning that they see eye to eye with you about being receptive and instantly responsive and think it's cute to be texting good morning/night without fail, etc. You'll probably be a whole lot happier that way.

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You know.....my guy and I are long distance much of the time..and we had a discussion about this. We FaceTime each other a lot, so it helps. Is there a reason you are not actually talking in person? If so you need to be clear to him about what you need. He is not a mind reader. I told my bf that I prefer to be called because it makes me feel special. He was very receptive to that....but I told him in a loving way, not that it's MY way of doing things. Guess what? The next day he called me three times. He wanted to make me happy because I told him it did. Men are fairly simple. And they usually just want to see you happy...I would suggest stop texting so much, and start talking more.

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LOL....expectations!!! They'll get you every time!!

 

I too, wanted my bf to call me everynight to say goodnight! And he usually did. We also called each other continually during the day. He didn't txt. Too old to figure it out! lol

 

Anyway, some people are more needy...er....um....sensitive to things like that. Some men are your way too! You just have to find a guy who shares your beliefs and values.

 

Just let him know that you would like a goodnight txt or call before bed. Don't worry about the petty stuff in between, like not answering some of your txts. He just doesn't realize it is important to you...cuz it's not important to HIM!

 

AND.....and this is a BIG AND.....men just aren't as into communication as women are. We would like to think a man is continually thinking about us...like we are them. AND....the big news is....they're NOT!

 

So pick your battles....and txts aren't one of them...

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