feelfreefloat Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 Oh... OH! No it's not of us together. It's just of me. I even took the time to copy and paste the picture to upload it onto FB so that it wasn't directly connected to him so i was trying to keep it on the DL anyway. I honestly didn't think that he would find out about it unless he ever added me as a friend or looked me up Link to comment
toby4 Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Oh... OH! No it's not of us together. It's just of me. I even took the time to copy and paste the picture to upload it onto FB so that it wasn't directly connected to him so i was trying to keep it on the DL anyway. I honestly didn't think that he would find out about it unless he ever added me as a friend or looked me up I personally think you should say nothing and change it to a picture he didn't take of you Link to comment
feelfreefloat Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 i mean the dumb thing is that the previous profile picture i had was ALSO of one he took and I had changed that a bit after we broke up in January and he didn't say anything. like it didn't bother him before or it didn't warrant a text before so i didn't see the harm in it again... but if you think that's the best thing to do, then maybe i will.. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 It is one thing not to change the picture right after you have broken up. It is very manipulative to BE broken up and change the picture to a photo of when you were together! Stop playing the innocent. This was calculated behavior on your part. At least own it. Link to comment
CeeLambrini Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Ignore it, it's just a photograph and he happened to take it. If you reply or even change it now it will show that you care that he was the one who took it. I think you know though that he is looking for excuses to contact you. Don't give him excuses, don't reply to his texts. You've said what you had to say, you fell for the bait when he asked you to explain further, don't do it again. The original text was perfect, it should have always been kept at that. He has challenged what you have been saying over and over again. "I'm not comfortable talking to you anymore" was replied with "What?" (aka, please explain further!) and you answered him completely disregarding what your original words were. Link to comment
feelfreefloat Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 I don't know why I let myself continuously fall for bait. It's like I always feel as if I owe him an explanation or SOMETHING. That text kind of annoys me though, because he's bringing up other people being interested in me and joking about it. In what world would I want to casual joke about my love interests with an ex I still have lots of feelings for. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 I don't know why I let myself continuously fall for bait. It's like I always feel as if I owe him an explanation or SOMETHING. That text kind of annoys me though, because he's bringing up other people being interested in me and joking about it. In what world would I want to casual joke about my love interests with an ex I still have lots of feelings for. My ex used to do this all the time. He'd joke about setting me up with people! Blech. Or he'd say something like "I saw your boyfriend the other day. He was looking for you" (referring to a colleague who needed to talk to me and had stopped by my office). Yuck. Just...gross. I don't do that to him (I made it clear a LONG time ago I don't want to hear about his dates/love interests/(rocky) relationships, and I don't want him talking about mine -- or even joking about them. He hasn't done it in a long time, though. I think he finally got a clue. I say don't respond and leave the picture for a bit and then change it back to one he didn't take. Link to comment
maccerz Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 It is one thing not to change the picture right after you have broken up. It is very manipulative to BE broken up and change the picture to a photo of when you were together! Stop playing the innocent. This was calculated behavior on your part. At least own it. It could just be a picture she really likes of herself? I really don't see the big deal at all. Ignore his text message!! Link to comment
CeeLambrini Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 In what world would I want to casual joke about my love interests with an ex I still have lots of feelings for. Exactly, that's why you don't reply. Set yourself up with some solid rules for texting and replying. First of all, does it have a question? If it's a no - ignore. If it does, what kind of question? "Hey, how are you?" - ignore "Whats up?" - ignore Any text that provokes a pointless text conversation, ignore. That is him making sure he is still on your mind and you haven't strayed or moved on yet. When he does ask a question, and you feel you want to respond stick to an answer as short as possible. No x's on the end, no "hey how are you"'s, just a one word answer. I would usually say go completely NC but you see this guy a lot and judging by the way he speaks to you he would probably come up and ask why you're not responding. Treat him like an acquaintance, he broke up with you and you're not obligated to be his friend. Link to comment
feelfreefloat Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 It's not really a text that even needed a response...and if it did, why would I want to talk about that kind of thing with him... I think I eventually WILL change the picture. I don't understand why our exes would want to have that kind of conversation with us. Or like why they think we would want to talk to THEM about it...? I do have to see him all the time since we are in the same major, and I imagine we will have to talk to each other from time to time (especially this coming Friday as we have a performance together). I plan on just being friendly and if he does what he usually does, he might decide not to bother me, which would be GREAT. Some days I feel like responding to him would do nothing for me. Other days I regret it. Hopefully this cycle will end soon....I just....want to be with him, but at the same time also want to be friends. Link to comment
feelfreefloat Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 So many parts of me want to respond to his text now with a smiley face, since I did tell him I wanted to be friends and ignoring him would feel a little drastic. But I haven't done it yet, and I'm pretty sure all of you would advise against it. I don't want to start a conversation...I just want to actually stand by what I said I wanted because I told him a plethora of things. Ugh.sfg asdf Link to comment
feelfreefloat Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 i probably shouldn't have agreed to have been friends with him should i.... truthfully, talking to him as friends doesn't phase me emotionally or whatever. it's just i'm afraid of being friendzoned. it's the weirdest thing. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 You have been friend zoned. If he can chat/text you about potential dates with other women....you are no longer in the potential date category yourself. Link to comment
toby4 Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 You probably shouldn't have agreed to being friends because you're clearly not ready for it, and i don't think you should respond... But that's in the past and you can't change it so deal with what's in front of you now. Just don't be rude but avoid having to talk to him and avoid situations where that will more than likely occur. Link to comment
feelfreefloat Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 I didn't respond, so thank goodness. I just really wanted to Link to comment
mg22 Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Pick up and the phone and talk to him. Even better tell it to his face that way you get a reaction. Link to comment
feelfreefloat Posted February 5, 2014 Author Share Posted February 5, 2014 Tell him what? Link to comment
mg22 Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 Tell him what? Tell him how you feel , and tell him you want a relationship and not a FWB., its better to be straight forward, worse that can happen is you lost something that really was never going to lead to anything. Link to comment
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