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Boyfriend not sure about future


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My bf and I have been together for 4.5 years. I'm 23 and he's 25. Almost a year ago we made our relationship LD (he moved back to Argentina, where he's from, in order to work), after 3 months I went to see him for almost 3 months. In November I came back to Israel, where I'm currently finishing my Bachelor degree. I'm originally from Norway. Our plan was that he would stay in Argentina and work, while I finish my studies. In July I would go to Argentina for a period of time and then we would move to Norway together. The thing is, my bf just got a very well-paid job that he's been waiting a long time for, he doesn't want to leave it and everything and go to Norway. I don't want to live in Argentina for a long time, because where my bf is living, there are very few job opportunities for me, as a political science major. My bf knows this and doesn't want me to live there if I won't be happy. I don't want to force my bf to leave his job either. Another factor is my mother who, although only wants the best for me, prefers that I go back to Norway to work and doesn't really want me to live in Argentina. I don't want to end up in a conflicted relationship with my mother. She thinks I'm not very sensible in wanting to stay in Argentina for a while.

 

Now, a week ago, my bf called me and said we needed to talk. He says that he's not sure if he wants to continue this relationship anymore due to the problems that I mentioned above. He thinks it won't work out for us, and just needs some time to think. This made me feel really bad, I'm trying to give him some space and not contacting him, but it's so hard. I really love him, but I'm not sure he's so committed to this relationship as I am. This situation is so complicated and all I want to do is talk to him, but I fear he doesn't love me as much anymore. He told me he needs time to sort out his feelings and thoughts. I think that after 4.5 years, he should know if he really loves me, right?

 

Does anyone have any advice for me, or us?

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Contrary to popular belief...love does not conquer all.

This is a case of life and relationships changing after university.

 

He has begun his career in Argentina.

You are in Is real...and don't want to live in Argentina.

He wants to stay there....and not move to Norway.

 

There isn't a win/win here. There is one road...and it is diverging.

It isn't that he doesn't love you...it is that life/career and your journeies are no longer congruent.

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The thing is, we really do love each other. I know he's the love of my life. We used to talk about having a future together. He wants to move to Norway, eventually at least. We both would have good work opportunities there, more than in Argentina. I really want to make our relationship work.

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Whatever solution that ends up with you two being together will only be acquired when one sacrifices their life and dreams for another. Love is selfless, and sometimes in order to be happy in the long run, you have to let each other go. If it is meant to be, your paths will cross again.

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