Bigdave117 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 There was a girl I had in a college class a few years back. I saw her again tonight and our conversation went just great. We have great chemistry and we are a good match - similar hobbies, interests, careers... Here is long story short. She is just gorgeous, very nice, classy, adorable, smart, but... she is really on thin side. I tend to have a strong preference for women with a lot of curves (not fat, thin waist of course). She is thin but I can't quite tell if she is super thin as in flat or real thin with some curves (which would be okay) Should I do it? I started talking to her tonight and she literally asked for my number almost right away. She mentioned several times that we should hang out. Will I overlook my lack of attraction for her body type? I should note, for those unfamiliar with me, ive had very very little dating success in my life. I have never had a gf Link to comment
Luna2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I should note, for those unfamiliar with me, ive had very very little dating success in my life. I have never had a gf And you wonder why.... Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 And you wonder why.... I hate to say it but I would sacrifice some of her fantastic personality traits and even her spectacularly beautiful face (would be okay with a regular cute girl) if she had the body type I like One thing I figure though is if she hangs with me, she will gain some quality weight with how much I work out and how I eat gigantic portions Literally this is the only thing holding me back. She is perfect otherwise (from what I know) The best part of the night was when she said I was charming/had a way with words. She is such a sweetheart Link to comment
NorthDallas40 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I would sacrifice some of her fantastic personality traits if she had the body type I like ----------------- Link to comment
Clio Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 It sounds like you prioritize body type over personality traits. Therefore, no you should not pursue her for as long as you have that kind of mindset. Based on your words, she doesn't have what you want. And trying to change someone to suit your body type preferences is never a good idea. In fact it can be very hurtful for the other person. On another note, to a third party what you have written sounds rather odd. You sound VERY picky. You may want to look within you why is that. Could it be that for some reason you are so afraid of intimate relationships that you will find an excuse not to get too close? Having had very little dating success in your life even though you have women approaching you may be an indication that you may have some inner issues holding you back that you need to sort out. And NorthDallas, could I have some popcorn please? Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 Not just women talking to me but a spectacularly beautiful woman who is sweet as can be, smart, successful and classy. Yea it was a great ego boost for me But I wouldnt say thats typical for me. I can't remember the last time I got attention like that from a girl I found attractive Link to comment
missmarple Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Don't pursue her and don't fool yourself that you can 'change' her. Some people are naturally thin, it's just their body type..it doesn't mean they don't eat or exercise enough. Even if she does gain weight, for all you know, she could gain it all around her waist. You'll be wasting both your time and hers. Besides, if you were really into her, you wouldn't care about her lack of curves. I think you just got excited because she paid attention to you. Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 Besides, if you were really into her, you wouldn't care about her lack of curves. I think you just got excited because she paid attention to you. Ive been thinking about her non stop for last couple hours! I've never had a girl like this where I felt this natural easy chemistry. Personality and lifestyle wise, we are a near perfect fit. Face wise, she looks like misa campo. So pretty Link to comment
missmarple Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 You do know that you don't make love to a face, right? Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 You do know that you don't make love to a face, right? No but u spend most of your time looking at it. LOL I dont know. What are the odds I will have somebody better than this interested in me? They seem to be very small I know so many people say "dont settle" but im a 25 year old guy with zero love life. I dont wanna be lonely any more especially with a girl that i can't stop thinking about Link to comment
missmarple Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 My point isn't not to settle. It's that when you start something with a big minus, things aren't going to get better. They'll get worse. I'm afraid you're going to break this girl's heart. Like it or not, physical attraction is a big part of a relationship. In any case, if you do decide to go along with it, make sure you don't make any promises yet. Link to comment
Shady2003 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Go on a few dates, explore it further, it doesn't have to be all or nothing! She'll probably gain weight anyway Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I think it would be pretty crappy of you to pursue her while you have this mentality. Link to comment
Lady D Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Seems a bit shallow really to worry about her not having enough to grab on to for you!!! No wonder you haven't dated much, I think you should give it a try, you might be surprised...why not? I would go and just see how the evening goes ;-) Lady D x Link to comment
hodgeheg Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I have a friend who is naturally very thin, but tall, beautiful and an absolutely lovely person. The thought of somebody "settling" for her or her boyfriend seeing her as anything but drop dead gorgeous (which she is!) repulses and angers me. A woman deserves to be with somebody who finds her entirely beautiful (as does a man), if you don't then don't pursue her. Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I think it would be pretty crappy of you to pursue her while you have this mentality. I agree with this, I could see you dating her and constantly being on her about her weight. Also, just because you eat a lot, doesn't mean that she will gain weight if she dates you. Speaking as a naturally thin women, it is damn hard [for me] to gain weight. If I was with a guy and always felt that he was judging my weight or hoping I would gain weight, it would get old really fast and I would end it. If this really is a huge issue for you, then just leave her alone, and maybe think about perspective here. You are a 25 year old h*rny guy that doesn't get many dates. You meet this awesome girl who you claim is freaking gorgeous, great personality, *and seems to like you* and whom you can't stop thinking about--yet, nope, reject, because she has thigh-gap--sound like a Seinfeld episode. Maybe you need to reflect on what is really important to you in terms of women and relationships. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I think attraction is essential of course. I don't think that means you have to be that picky about specific body types especially since if you go for the long term people can gain or lose weight, etc. Given your current mindset don't pursue her -she deserves a man who is not going to tell himself he is settling because she happens to be too thin. Same if you meet someone who is curvy but whose waist is not thin -since you are choosing to have those types of priorities let men who have a more balanced perspective(IMO) pursue these women and treat them as they deserve to be treated. Link to comment
Bigdave117 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 Go on a few dates, explore it further, it doesn't have to be all or nothing! She'll probably gain weight anyway I gotta explore it further. She is such a lovely person. I got nothing to lose Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I agree with posters here that imply you do more self exploration. You seem to have a quirky mindset about women and dating. It's like part of you is 'normal' and part of you is 'off' in some way. I can't quite put it into words, but on paper you seem like a great catch, but your personality kind of negates some of your good points. If any female heard your inner dialog they would run for the hills including the woman you are contemplating. You really need to look into that mindset you have. It seems trite and almost middle-school. Sometimes you sound like my 14 year nephew. Link to comment
goodheartlady Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Lol OP : what kind of face and body type do you have? Are you the perfect combo for her? How is that six pack and square chin treating you? There is no perfect person: most of us are overjoyed with a kind and loving person who is descently attractive. Keep chasing your perfect doll - let us know how it works out for you. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I hate to say it but I would sacrifice some of her fantastic personality traits and even her spectacularly beautiful face (would be okay with a regular cute girl) if she had the body type I like One thing I figure though is if she hangs with me, she will gain some quality weight with how much I work out and how I eat gigantic portions Literally this is the only thing holding me back. She is perfect otherwise (from what I know) The best part of the night was when she said I was charming/had a way with words. She is such a sweetheart Wow -- Well...not really sure what to say to you here, but....if you value body type over personality traits, it's no wonder you have difficulty with dating. I could see if she was morbidly obese; while we can say it's "shallow" to not be attracted to someone who is obese, the vast majority of people aren't going to be able to overlook 100 extra pounds when looking for a partner (though some can, for sure). But this girl is of normal weight, just not as "curvy" as you would like. This just seems VERY picky to me if this is a potential dealbreaker for you, particularly given the fact that you've never had a girlfriend. I'm not saying that you have to be desperate and date someone you're repulsed by, but this girl sounds perfectly fine, looks-wise, and if she's got a great personality to boot -- wow! You've hit the jackpot. The fact that you're already thinking that "she'll gain some quality weight" when hanging with you suggests that you'd be getting involved with her hoping to change her. This is not the basis for a good dating/romantic relationship. What if she doesn't? What if the weight she gains isn't "quality" and she starts to get chubby? You won't be happy with that, either. I'd give my right arm for a decent, age-appropriate guy to whom I'm attracted AND who has a great personality. I like tall guys, but if he's 5'6" and everything else is there, I'll take him. I like guys with hair, but if he's balding and has everything else, I'll take him. Sometimes, you have to focus on what, longterm, is really important. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I gotta explore it further. She is such a lovely person. I got nothing to lose Don't wait too long or she'll be snapped up, probably a few times over. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I gotta explore it further. She is such a lovely person. I got nothing to lose Maybe not, but she does. She could get hurt. Be sure to keep your "exploration" as short in duration as possible and cut things off as soon as you realize you don't want to be with her, if that's the case. You don't want to be *that* guy who strings along a perfectly "lovely person" because he's hoping she'll magically become what he wants. Link to comment
chr8st8na Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Kids these days say the darnest things Link to comment
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