Who wants to be friends with someone without friends?!

[DaveDreamer]

Hey guys. so basically im feeling this pain in my gut everyday. I have hardly any friends. and purpose in life. im so discontent. I used to be really popular in school. Always had really close friends. But as time went on i lost them. One i lost because we had a dispute over a girl. I lost to more went we went on holiday to asia and we had a fight coz the other 2 were doing really stupid and being really careless. I was very sick.. had food poisoning and all they cared about was getting prostitues. stood my ground.. said f%$$^ you... but years later im still without them. we travel twice. these were great mates. Still had a great friend that i had known forever, but i went through a break up in july.. i was really depressed and he was there for me kind of but jept hanging ot with her and then started pulling away from me.. he all of a sudden didnt have time for me... then i just ignored him. Weeks or a month went by and heard nothing.. then he texts me "hows life". I just ignored it. Its been a few more months and havent heard anything. Saw a post on fb he was out with my ex last night and her group of female friends.

 

I feel like its too late to grow old friends. I miss the ones i had. theres so many good people i have let go or dont have anymore. I find that wothout friends its harder to make friends. Who wants to be friends with someone who has no friends. I still have 2 friends.. but i feel like i used them kind of now to cure my depression or loneliness. I never felt like this going up. Im 24 now, i been out of school for 6 years. Dont know what i want to do with my life, career, friends. Im just worried im not going to have any fun times anymore. those good brotherly friend times, full of laughter and wild fun. I miss it.. i dont know what to do.

[RamblinMan]

I'll be your friend, dude. Dunno if that helps.

[Lady D]

Hi DaveDreamer, from your post, you honestly sound like a really great person to me and the kind of person I'd want as a friend...

I do know what you mean about missing a gang of friends to hang around with but it's never too late to have that again in your life as I've found, I have recently joined a group and now we all meet up on Friday nights and we have a really great time, yet a year ago I thought that I wouldn't ever feel part of the gang or accepted again, it had been ages since I'd been in a circle of people and that was when I was at Uni

What I've learnt now as well is, it's better to have one, two or three really close friends than a big circle of shallow acquaintances and also, if a " friend " ever hurts me intentionally once, I break off the friendship then and there, I have recently had to end a friendship where I was constantly walking on eggshells with the person

 

The funny thing was, when I cut out the crap friends, new, nicer friends came into my life...

 

Hey you are only 24 years old, I felt exactly the same as you and that's all changed for me now and I am 40 years old!!! So it can be done

 

Perhaps you'll find some likeminded people with meet up or Craig's list if you are in the USA, but really I really do like the sound of you, you are JUST the sort of friend I would like!

 

Just try to only have good things in your life, good people and do things that you enjoy, best of luck to you, remember how special you are and don't you forget it ;-) Lady D x

[KarenC]

The word FRIEND is yet to be determined.

[RamblinMan]

try meetup dot com

[bulletproof]

 

I feel like its too late to grow old friends...Im 24 now...

 

Sorry OP, but I had to laugh a little at this. You're 24. That's not to late to do anything, really. You'll find that as you grow older, you will change friends often, outgrow some people, move on from others, etc. That's not to say that some people don't have friends for life- I know one friend from when I was a baby- but you should always be changing and growing and welcoming new people in, too.

 

Learn from your mistakes of the past. I noticed that you don't seem to have taken any responsibility for the failed friendships you describe. Make sure you realize what your part in it was, and try to move forward. Start joining groups and trying new things and you will meet like-minded people.

[catfeeder]

Test the strategy of cultivating new friendships by offering what someone else wants and needs rather than making it about what you want and need.

 

Once you shift that focus, you'll be surprised by what happens over time.

 

Patience.

[Past Tense]

Who wants to be friends with someone without friends?!

 

I would... and have!

 

Since you've had friends in the past, you know that there are traits about you that are appealing. You know you know how to be kind to someone, have fun, and connect. You've been there before. It's just a bad period, one you can climb out of (although I understand how hard it is to make new social circles when everyone else seems to have an established one).

[inugami]

A lot of people have that feeling of being lost in life, I'm one of those. And I totally understand how you're feeling right now. But as everyone else says: things will get better. I'll also be your friend if that helps

[ohioboy]

I've learned that sometimes friends hold you down. You outgrow certain friends because you mature and they don't. Just saying