Starving myself not eating

[Stephanie9203]

So I have decide to stop eating .i don't like the way I look yeah I know it not safe but my own optional right now I will be make sure to drink plenty of water and walk a lots I will start back eating when I feel like I lost the weight I want and look good . part of the reason is I really don't like the way I look .I look all these other girl that are 10 time more pretty than me I am fat not huge but a little fat and don't like it and second I don't know because okay so I am with guy and I know he has like crush on a few girl I know nothing will happen it just a crush and he told me nothing will happen and I have nothing worried about but some of girl are pretty than me and idk I feel like I have to compete with them ik it sound stupid I ask he if he think i am fat he said no then I told I was doing it starving myself and He told me it up to me what I want to do but part of me has an feeling is don't want me too but won't say anything idk but what guys tell girl there are dating that you can do it something like that he used tell me all the time I was pretty and beaufully back then when we bf and gf he wouldn't never let me do something like that sometime it make me wonder if he really do care about me

[Seraphim]

If you starve yourself and go back to eating you will gain everything that you lost plus more weight. The body is designed to work on a feast or famine system. If you starve yourself your metabolism goes very slow. And your body does not work properly. Then when you eat again your body gobbles up all the calories it can and stores it in your body for the next" famine situation." Therefore you gain weight. The human body has worked this way since the beginning of time and hasn't changed.

 

Using this system of not eating you can also develop an eating disorder. You could die. Your hair falls out, your skin goes funny and flaky. You can loose teeth. You can have heart attacks. Your hormones and endocrine system get all messed up. Every system in your body gets destroyed.

 

The way to feel good about yourself is to eat in a healthy manner and get a healthy amount of exercise and don't compare yourself to others.

[Circe]

First of all, starving yourself can destroy your metabolism and make it difficult for you to maintain a healthy weight later when you stop starving yourself. Second, its an incredibly painful thing to do - and there's absolutely no need for you to do it - you can lost weight over time by maintaining a healthy diet (calorie count within a safe limit if you want) and some light exercise. Why do it the horrible, crash, unsafe, painful way when you can do it the safe and healthy way instead and just take a bit longer? It doesn't HAVE to be all or nothing with food, does it? It doesn't have to be.

 

Second, telling a guy you're thinking of starving yourself is enough to make any intelligent guy think you have some serious issues - and many won't respond well to it. You don't need him to "save you" by sweeping in and insisting that you don't starve yourself and you're beautiful already. You already know these things - you should look after yourself.

 

Don't worry about this guy. I know it's easier said than done but throughout the course of your life there will be many guys. There will also always be girls that are prettier than you in your life. You can't put too might weight (pun unintended) on being the prettiest girl in your guy's circle. Most of us can't achieve that - doesn't mean we're going to feel insecure and scared and start starving ourselves to make sure we can keep his attention. A guy's attention isn't worth that sort of self-harm.

[Mesemene]

You're not going to lose the weight you want to starving yourself. Unless you make sure to eat balanced meals with protein, your body will eat your own muscle tissue and organs - and as soon as you start eating, it'll go straight to fat reserves, and your metabolism will go in the crapper.

 

Eat a veggie-centric diet including protein, and exercise moderately. You WILL lose weight, and gain muscle tone. And you won't be putting yourself in a losing situation to maintain your ideal weight.

 

Trust me, I'm mid "lifestyle change" atm. I started eating a balanced, vegetable based (I still eat meat, just not as much) diet in mid-November. Since then, I've lost something like 17 pounds, and I'm starting to get toned again. I go to the gym 4-5 days a week - but I don't try and do hours. I do 20-30 minutes on one of the cardio bikes, and if I'm feeling energetic later, I go back for a second run and weights. It's easier to push through 20 minutes and meet that goal instead of saying it'll be an hour and always feeling like a failure.

 

It's not "uber fast" but it's definitely working. And you're younger, it would work faster for you than an old fart like me

 

Find something you can stick with and live with, not something short term that could damage you permanently. Then not only will you get there, keeping the weight and shape you want will be much easier.

[Seraphim]

Here is a dose of realism. My anorexic cousin has had THREE, count em THREE heart attacks. She is 40 years old! She looks like a skeleton. She has aged so she looks older than I do and I am 7 years older than her . She is wasting away, DYING, while her family painfully watches, including her son.

[bulletproof]

He told me it up to me what I want to do

 

A guy who cares about you should not be saying it's up to you if you want to starve yourself. He should be saying that is a terrible idea, and that he doesn't want you to do that.

 

Listen to what people are saying here, and google it for verification if you don't believe them: starving yourself is the absolute worst way to lose weight. Your body will go into survival mode and try to retain as much fat as it can if it senses that no food is forthcoming. Don't do this to yourself.

[Mesemene]

Here is a dose of realism. My anorexic cousin has had THREE, count em THREE heart attacks. She is 40 years old! She looks like a skeleton. She has aged so she looks older than I do and I am 7 years older than her . She is wasting away, DYING, while her family painfully watches, including her son.

 

I'm sorry to hear that, Vic.

 

My SIL was anorexic when she was younger. Now her issues have gone the other way - now she's a comfort eater, her metabolism is crap, and to add to her already impressive list of issues, she has some heart problems stemming from the anorexia and substance abuse when she was young.

 

And I'll back you on the rest - when her, my MIL, and I go anywhere - it's not uncommon for us to be asked if MIL is my grandmother, and she is my MOTHER. Not only is she my SIL, she's 5 years YOUNGER than me. But the varying abuses her body has been through have been telling, and have aged her beyond her years. She looks easily 50-55, and she's only 43.

 

Steph, this isn't a road you want to travel. And if your guy knew what risks you would be taking, if he cares for you, he would be doing all he could to dissuade you from it.

[LikeWater]

You said you want to look good, but starving yourself would be the worst thing you could do to achieve that goal. Chances are you already do look good and just have what's known as "body image distortion", meaning what you see in the mirror isn't reality. You look in the mirror and see yourself as fat when in reality you look perfectly healthy and slim. It's extremely common among people who are anorexic or on the road to becoming one.

 

Don't make the mistake of only thinking in the short-term, because even if messing with your body like that doesn't cause any problems now, it can/will cause major problems later in your life. Trust me, a girl who's ghostly pale, balding, aging prematurely and rail-thin isn't what many guys would consider good looking. And that's not even touching how you would FEEL.

 

Google some images of anorexic people and read some of their stories. Hopefully that would change your mind if we can't.

[RamblinMan]

A great way to get fat is to stop eating. Your body will think you're dying and when you do eat again it will store everything as fat. You could get around that by continuing to not eat, but then you'll just be a corpse. The people here will likely tell you that you look great the way you are. Frankly, what matters is how you feel about yourself (within reason). Wanting to get in better shape does not make you mentally ill, it makes you human. If you are emaciated and trying to continue losing weight, yes, you have a problem. If you're a little chubby and just want to look better in a bikini, that's perfectly reasonable.

 

It sounds to me like you simply need to make healthier dietary choices combined with some mild cardio and you'll get in the shape you want. Precisely what you should do will vary based on your age and specific weight. Nutrition is very important to me, if you'd like we can start talking about a more detailed plan for you to achieve your goals in a healthy way.

 

It could be that you're eating something that you might think is healthy but actually isn't. We can talk more to find the actual issue. Please talk to us more about your specific situation and your goals.

[itsallgrand]

That's very manipulative to starve yourself to try and get a guy to get to do what you want! And - it won't work.

 

Instead, just drop the guy if he isn't treating you how you like to be treated! Much safer and you won't destroy your body in the process.

[Kendahke]

Starving yourself won't work. Your brain, liver and other organs and glands in your body needs nutrients for them to work properly. Starving yourself causes more avoidable health problems later on than the loss of 5lbs of water weight.

 

Your best bet is to eat vegan and/or raw along with anerobic exercise.

 

But even if you do lose all the weight, you still have an emotional problem of not accepting who you are as you are and if you can't conquer that mountain, no amount of weight loss will ever be sufficient for you to accept yourself and feel pretty

 

Here's one thing in life you need to get used to with a quickness: there is always going to be someone prettier than you, skinnier than you, more charming than you, wealthier than you, just like there will always be someone who is uglier than you, fatter than you, less charming than you, poorer than you---the difference is that while they may be that, they also might have the advantage of accepting themselves, which gives them peace of mind and doesn't drive them to do damaging things to their health and body because of a psychological distraction.

 

If you're with a guy who is telling you he's crushing on other girls, then you're with the wrong guy. There is no reason in the world why you should compete with anyone--if he can't be with you 100%, then he needs to go. Damaging yourself to keep a guy is really, really foolish.

[Lady D]

Dear Stephanie9203, please do NOT starve yourself, if you are going to be walking miles with no fuel to give you energy you're just going to end up collapsing! And think of how worried everybody will feel who knows you and loves you and cares about you

I'm sure you are pretty as you are, there is already a poster on this board who isn't in to stick thin girls, every guy I've ever dated hasn't really been into skinny girls anyway

Yes, do not compare yourself to others, that's just a way to torture yourself, also you're going to be very miserable if you deprive yourself of food, it's going to be terrible, so please don't do it

Come on here if you need more support, my best wishes to you, Lady D x

[Kendahke]

 

 

From your other thread:

 

 

No amount of starving is going to fix this mess.

[catfeeder]

Failing to put reasonable nutrition into the body will cause the body to fight to hold onto weight rather than drop it.

 

Eventually your body gives up and starts deteriorating, but along with losing fat you lose valuable muscle--which composes your critical organs.

 

Then your organs fail to function properly and you toxify the body. THEN you'll drop some weight, alright--organ deterioration is pretty painful and ugly.

 

Don't you think that if starvation worked as you wish, everyone would just starve for awhile to feel fabulous in skinny jeans?

 

Think.

[Stephanie9203]

Thanks you everyone for your through on this issue really thanks you .I have a lots of thinking to do . I don't know part of me i guess do it not just about the guy but I see other people out there like girl on FB or out in the world who are my age who are skinny as u can be an guy tell them all the time are petty and beau fully .i just wanna feel like that I want someone to just walk up to me Idk an just said I'm so beau fully I have problem in the past with want to loss weight WAY before I met the guys . I have trouble sncie I was little I'm very very very picky about my food it got really bad over the pass few year now I meant when I started datting the guys I'm kinda with now he accept how about my food issue was I was happy about that cuz no one be side my family has accept it my BFF didn't even know how bad it was and my family isn't liking my food habit now it that bad I guess part of it is like 10% is beause of the guy but the rest 90% is beause how I feel about my self and I don't know it like when I weight my self and see I have lost weight I get so happy I used be like 164 and now I weight like between 130 -134 and I really have no idea how I lost that weight cuz It may because I didn't have lots of money so there were day when I ate maybe ate one a day or just snack I just want feel pretty I guess

[Seraphim]

But starving to death won't make you feel pretty. In fact it makes people look awful. It makes me shake my head in sadness. I can see their pain and suffering. And the pain and suffering is coming from their mind. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH AS YOU ARE. That is what you need to learn. Please see a medical doctor and get a referral to an eating disorder counsellor.

[Kendahke]

Thanks you everyone for your through on this issue really thanks you .I have a lots of thinking to do . I don't know part of me i guess do it not just about the guy but I see other people out there like girl on FB or out in the world who are my age who are skinny as u can be an guy tell them all the time are petty and beau fully .i just wanna feel like that I want someone to just walk up to me Idk an just said I'm so beau fully

 

you just want some random stranger to do that?

 

I have problem in the past with want to loss weight WAY before I met the guys . I have trouble sncie I was little I'm very very very picky about my food it got really bad over the pass few year now I meant when I started datting the guys I'm kinda with now he accept how about my food issue was I was happy about that cuz no one be side my family has accept it my BFF didn't even know how bad it was and my family isn't liking my food habit now it that bad I guess part of it is like 10% is beause of the guy but the rest 90% is beause how I feel about my self and I don't know it like when I weight my self and see I have lost weight I get so happy I used be like 164 and now I weight like between 130 -134 and I really have no idea how I lost that weight cuz It may because I didn't have lots of money so there were day when I ate maybe ate one a day or just snack I just want feel pretty I guess

 

You would be well served by talking to someone who deals with eating disorders because you have a very unhealthy relationship with food as it pertains to how you look.

[RamblinMan]

Again, without knowing more specifics, it's hard to give actual dietary advice beyond the obvious. Drink water, not soda. Avoid processed foods and try to get healthier, more natural foods. Smoothies are natural but full of sugar, avoid those too. Walking would be good for you or even a light jog should be fine, but don't get too crazy with it. If you stop eating, your body will start to feel and look terrible and you will likely get sick - don't do that.

[Stephanie9203]

thanks you everyone for advice on the topic .so I been doing some thinking and it not official yet just doing some thinking and I just thinking about just eating one a day so I a least have food in my body and walk a lots and drink plenty of water .

[Seraphim]

That is STILL a starvation diet Stephanie.