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Need to vent. Maybe get a new perspective


captaindrey

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My girlfriend of 1.5 years called it off about 4 weeks ago. I havent seen her since spending Christmas with her and her family. I havent been sending her texts just an email apologizing about the way I acted, about a week and a half ago.

We took a break for a few weeks about 5 months ago and during that time she thought and decided that she wants to work things out with me. This time Im not going to be that lucky I already know. Shes starting a new career and she will be very focused on it and I think that she feels like I will be holding her back. I dont want that.

 

After the break up i didnt talk to her for a few days then sent her flowers. She said they are beautiful but they are not necessary. A few days later I sent her an email saying how much I want to be with her and that we can work it out. She politely said its not going to happen. I asked if we could remain friends and she said that in the future she might like that but now it wasnt possible. Now I never treated her badly. I did ask her to drive up often and we werent very intimate and I would make her feel bad about it. Not directly but I would noticably get upset when she didnt want to have sex. I would never have gone anywhere else for it I loved her like no other.

 

She came back from a trip and asked if I can drive down to see her since she didnt have a lot of gas money. I said that Id like to see her at my place so we could have sex. I got upset that it wasnt on her mind. She called it quits. Was it worth losing her over that?? hell no. I shouldve drove down. That day and everyday because I needed to show her I care about her and not about the idea of her. I made the biggest mistake of my life.

 

I was also a very timid person when it came to being around her family and friends. She didnt like that very much. I grew to love them and somehow a member of her family still wants to stay in contact with me which is fine.

 

She is still friends with my friends and although I know the whole social network thing doesnt mean much, but it hurts seeing her on there. I dont want to delete her because thats childish. We were never even "facebook official" so whats the point.

 

We fell apart slowly. Never even had a real fight. I have no choice but to move on. She left me a better man. I quit smoking after the break up, became more social, and miss her even more honestly.

 

I guess my question is, what happens next? Do I find someone that is as close to her but is actually there? Is it normal to call her my one even if I never see her again?

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Ive had relationships before. This one was different in all aspects. Better. I know she doesnt love me anymore. We would at least be working things out.

 

I hate that everyone seems to think there are steps and they are always the same. She gave me a chance. I messed it up and in turn made her fall out of love with me. I know its not always my fault but if i dont take responsibility for my actions, history will repeat itself.

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Why do you need her if it so easy for her to fall out of love so quickly? Her love wasn't strong enough to begin with. You shouldn't have taken her back during the first break anyway. When someone breaks with you it means their feelings are not the same any more and there is little you can do to fix it, so don't blame yourself for that. Yes, definitely learn from your mistakes but realize that you have her on a pedestal right now, which is natural but it will pass. This relationship wasn't better than any of the others you had because she didn't love you enough to work through the problems you had. She conveniently used you until she started getting busy with her career.

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You are losing yourself here. It's really too bad you focused on having sex with her instead of going to talk, it probably contaminated the whole offer and made her angry she even extended the invitation. I am guessing this has either happened before, or this is your first relationship period that involved sexual intimacy. I don't know what to tell you about your ex girlfriend other than she's most likely burned out on clingy selfish you. Learn a lesson here, and make sure "next time" there isn't a next time. Treat your girlfriend with respect and care. Love and cherish her, for her. And, learn to like yourself a little more too while your at it. That way you aren't an emotional vampire sucking the life out of any future relationship.

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I was in a relationship for 3 years and the sexual chemistry was what kept it together. What happened with the recent one was not my intention. It was so indirect and I didnt see it. I hate this feeling guys. I cant explain how much she meant to me. Thanks for your input.

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