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Having to see your ex daily and pain of a breakup


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Hey what's up guys,

I just wanna explain my situation to get some advice and help me get my story off my chest.

So I was dating this girl for about a year. My previous relationship was about 4 years and that hurt like hell when it ended, so I told myself I wouldn't let myself get hurt again. After my previous relationship I was single for about two years. I met this new girl and things started off really well. I could tell she was very different from any other girl I have dated. Super hot, very sweet blah blah blah.

 

A month into it I started to notice that a few things weren't right with her. She came from a very normal family, but she had some depression issues and was on a few different medications. All last year she would cry all the time, put me down etc. but I loved her so I stuck through it. She did a lot worse things than that but I won't go into detail. She lives right down the hall from me so we were always together. I was the perfect boyfriend too her. I paid for everything, bought her jewerly, flowers, etc. made her dinner everynight . Treated her like a ****ing princess.

 

Last June she went home for the summer which is about 6 hours away. I would visit her all the time, and our relationship was going well except for the issues she had. She is the type of girl who needs attention all the time. So over the summer she was hanging out with tons of guys flirting etc. but never cheated. She came back and told me she wanted to marry me. I was super excited. 3 days after she came back I looked at her phone cause I had a feeling something wasn't right. I found out she made out with her ex two weeks before she was going to come back. I was like what the ****. I had to find out that way really?

 

I forgave her because she was really sorry and all that crap. And I kept in mind that she is young and dumb. She is 21 and I'm almost 25. Things were going good again. Until two months later she gets a new job from some older guy in her class. I'm like oh great. Of course she says there just friends blah blah horse****. A week later I see her phone again and she is talking to her friend about this guy. She's like if he made a move on me I'd play it by ear and see what happens. Two days before thanksgiving I confront her about it and she dumps me. ( I'm leaving out a lot of **** cause the story is long) anyways it sucks because I have never treated a girl so good in my life and to get **** on like this hurts!!

 

She says it's my fault cause I looked through her phone? Yea ok?.. I'm glad I did cause I can read people when they ****ing lie. I work where I live so I have to see her every ****ing day with her new dude who by the way looks like a old creeper ****tard. I would have been over it by now if I didn't have to see her all the time. And two days ago she has the nerve to text me and ask if I have a charger to a nice electric wine opener I bought her? What a . I told her today to delete my number and **** off. She says I'll never change? I didn't do anything wrong in the first place.

 

She told me that she used me as a biproduct to make her happy now. She is no longer on meds or depressed anymore? I don't believe the depression part. Sorry for cussing it just irritates me. I just needed to vent to someone hah. It's sucks cause I still love her , I have no idea why though. Her biggest thing was wanting to be friends after we broke up. It's impossible to be friends with someone who hurt you. I hate having to see her everyday with this new dbag. But I know deep down that she is just going to use him as well. I probably would have beat his ass by now, but everytime I see him he looks pretty scared, so I feel bad in a way. Getting over someone is a hard process, especially if she lives like 4 apartments over. Oh well thanks for reading.

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She sounds like she doesnt respect you and is continuing on as if she has done nothing wrong. Some people are unable to take responsibility for their actions. They live in a delusional fantasy and will often have an excuse or somone else to blame for all their problems. Im afraid these people need therapy or help and they need to see they havea problem. She doesn't yet and she may never see the cause of her depression and issues is her. She was at fault for cheating not you. These people also think that their exs will always be there for them, they are the victim.

 

The best way to continue is to ignore her and refuse to contact her anymore. Taking advantage of your generosity, and flaunting her new relationship is not right. Im sorry this is happening to you...

 

You need to move on. I know it will be hard but ignoring, is the best option. Don't contact her any further. If you have to see her just ignore or be the bigger person and say a curt hi, and move on.

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Cheaters will always blame shift -- so of course if you catch her cheating, she's going to blame YOU for looking at her phone.... or put YOU down for reacting to her.

 

She's clearly not ready to be faithful to anyone. She's very young and wants to see what's out there and experience dating lots of people. You want different things, so it's best to try and move on from this. Maybe you want to look at dating women your age or a bit older?

 

It's a cliche but time really WILL help you get over this -- and good for you for not buying into that "let's be friends" nonsense. I'd say you've dodged a bullet!

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Thanks both of you guys!!! I have never been a tough as situation as this. Normally I could just get over it. But living in the same building and working where she lives sucks pretty hard. But I know things will get better. I am halfway done with electrician school so I can get a new job and move on!! I should have seen how spoiled she is and how much her parents spoiled her. So she expected me to do the same. I was a fool and gave in. And the fact that she is already with the guy who she left me for, shows that she just uses guys and is very lost.

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