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My husband's friend has cancer ..


Seraphim

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A good female friend of my husband just told me she has cancer. She is a single mom with a teenage daughter. She does not want me to tell my husband because she feels he is too sensitive. It is her life and her choice about who she tells. I just hugged her tight and told her she would be ok.

 

I don't know what else to do.

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I'm with Mhowe. How is your husband going to feel, knowing you are capable of keeping such a big secret from him? How inconsiderate of her, even if she does have cancer. Now you are stuck dealing with it, and you can't lean on the person who you are closest to about it.

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I did have to tell him because we don't like to keep big things from each other. But we have pledged as a family to do for her what we can. Grocery shopping ,cleaning ,cooking meals , shovelling the driveway etc. She starts radiation next week and has to leave her daughter back home . So I gave her my number and said her daughter can call me anytime of the day or night if she needed help.

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I did have to tell him because we don't like to keep big things from each other. But we have pledged as a family to do for her what we can. Grocery shopping ,cleaning ,cooking meals , shovelling the driveway etc. She starts radiation next week and has to leave her daughter back home . So I gave her my number and said her daughter can call me anytime of the day or night if she needed help.

 

I'm glad you told husband, because the friend may not have intended to drop a marriage bomb in your lap--but that's exactly what she did.

 

You've made the right choice.

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Well, if she doesn't agree, I'd ask her to take some time to think about the ethical strain she imposed on a married couple by asking one to keep an important secret from the other. If she won't consider that, then you'll need to make room for the idea that her motives weren't entirely clear--maybe not even to her.

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