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I am posting this purely for opinions, good or bad, I just want a perspective.


As we all know, break-ups can be devastating. I've learned over the years that although now it's not the best situation, like many other things, it will pass.


So me and my guy were together for a short time. We spent 2 months as friends and then we decided to go for it. We both knew this was going to happen so why not now. By the way, we've known each other for long but we just went a bit deeper this time.


Now we are no longer together and I want some insight into what some of you think might be going on. I do understand that no-one knows better than he does but as I mentioned, I just want opinions on some of the things he said.


1.He told me from the jump that he wanted to make me happy and he swore on his cousins grave as well as others

2. He asked me what my biggest dream was and I said to go away with my partner, he said yep, gna make that happen (he saved the money for it)

3. He said he hadn't been happier till he had met me

4. He said he's liked me for so many years now that nothing was going to separate us so easily.

5. He said that I was his strength, his soulmate, his happiness, his lifeline

6. He said that if he ever lost me he would break and that I shouldn't break his heart.

7. He told me that he wanted to propose because I was the first girl he had loved and he always told himself he would propose to the girl that he loved.

8. He said that he had a stronger bond with his mum now that I was in his life. Also his mum had told him that I was the best thing that had happened to him last year.

9. He said that being with me made him not want to go on his holiday

10. He said that if he'd have known sooner that I would have liked to go he would have paid for me.



There is more...but based on this, I find it hard to understand why he would break up with me.


We weren't going out long enough for the relationship to fall apart. We were happy & we both knew it.


After a short amount of time he broke up with me and he said I needed time to get over my past, I then reassured him that this time wasn't needed. He then said he needed time himself and to be selfish and make himself happy rather than relying on the relationship.


He also said that he didn't think my heart was in it as much as his and something about not wanting the relationship more than him.

If someone had expressed themselves to you in the way that he did, would you not too be a bit confused. I'm not asking for ways to get him back by the way, just opinions on what you think might be going through his head. It might help me to get closure.


Also when I message him, 'I miss you', he says that he misses me too. Which is nice, it does however remind me that we are apart.

Obviously there are chunks missing. Albeit a short relationship, a lot did happen, feelings wise. All of my friends are confused, I am confused, I even think he is confused at times. It's not nice to tell someone all these things and more and to then take it away.






Luke 1:37 'For with God, nothing shall be impossible.' Even if you don't believe in a higher power, believe in yourself...

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You were only actually together a few weeks, yes?


He came on very strong and 8-9 times out of 10, the people who do this have absolutely no commitment to the things that they say. He may have possibly meant it, at the time - More importantly, in the moment. But to say and do it, those are two entirely different things.


There's a reason that people say run when someone does the whole instant intimacy thing - It doesn't make any sense, and it's very easy to get swept away in the words said and promises made. Plus, as quickly as they tend to be able to "attach", they can "detach" because the attachment to begin with is quite shallow.

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I do agree with cheetarah, however he did know me for years and had liked me for some time. We were 'friends' for years. We just decided to take it further. I do understand what you mean, I had actually told myself not to get attached but out of nowhere it just happened. I guess everything he offered was what I was looking for. The happiness just led me to get secretly swept into what he was saying. Only realised nearer the end.


Thank you as well fame1977 It would be great if that's all he needed. Only he can confirm this I guess.


All opinions are appreciated.

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I feel like your boyfriend was more infatuated with you than actually in love with you. Unfortunately, an infatuation starts off really intense and then wears off.


I was in a similar situation with a friend long ago. When he came back from college, he feel head over heels for me. For about 2 months. Then he just wanted to keep in touch as friends. I could not figure out what the heck had happened. Then I thought about our friendship over the yrs and realized he was always looking for the next big thing. For a month, he went crazy for karate. It was all he could talk about and he went to a lesson every night. Then he dropped it. Next, it was saving up for his "dream car". He got it, got over it and sold it a few mos later. Finally, I realized that for a little while I had been his next big thing. And then like all the rest, he lost interest in me.

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