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Complicated family situation


oitnb

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My mom is a prescription pill addict. She's been supposedly "clean" for three weeks now and was planning on going into rehab this coming Monday.

 

Here's the issue. I live in my parents old house. They divorced about a year ago, and both got there own places. My dad lives with his girlfriend, and my mom had an apartment (had - I'll explain that later). My dad pays the bills here. The house is paid off, there's no rent. I do my best to not leave lights on or run water to much so the bills are relatively low since he's paying them for me. (I'm in school so he's going easy on me for now, he does want me to take them over the second I can afford it though, he's a great dad).

 

My dad basically forced me to let my mom stay here for the past few weeks while she gets all her ducks in a row for rehab. I was very iffy about it, I keep lots of things here, including a shotgun she could easily pawn for drug money, jewelry, and things of that sort. And she has no vehicle, so of course that means she's been guilt tripping me to use my truck every day.

 

I find it very hard to just automatically switch from - watch out she's a drug addict and not trust worthy - to - hey let her stay here and trust her without a second thought, she's clean now, yay! - like my dad has. Her behavior has not pointed towards being clean, too. She still stays up until the late hours, wakes up early and leaves the second she's up. (Just like she did when she was on pills - she needed her morning fix to start her day)

 

And now my father and her are hounding me to let her live here after rehab. In the end, it's not my choice. I understand and respect that. But, I was basically given this place, and my dad assured me he would not let my mom move in here or guilt trip us into it, and he went back on his word.

 

It's just, I've been through this whole song and dance mannnnyyyy times. Even if she completed the whole 30 days, (which she never has, she's always left early for some bs excuse) that's not enough for me to trust her. It takes time and that's not what my parents are realizing. Not only emotionally, but again all the stuff worth decent money I have here, she could easily have access to pawn if she relapsed (if she hasn't already).

 

Not to mention she has a thing for hiding mail, even if it's stupid mail, which she has done almost every day these past two weeks she's been here.

 

I'm just not sure what to do. If my dad wants to let her be here, he can. I have no say because he's letting my stay here for free. I'm thinking maybe I could take over the bills so he will respect my opinion a bit more, even tho that'll be tough being in college and all, but something needs to be done. I can't just live with her again without time to see she's really changed.

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Put a lock on your door to your room. Keep your valuable and the gun in the locked room.

There is nothing you can do.... paying the utilities is not going to give you a greater say. You dad has is the one in the drivers seat. You are right to be wary...

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Put a lock on your door to your room. Keep your valuable and the gun in the locked room.

There is nothing you can do.... paying the utilities is not going to give you a greater say. You dad has is the one in the drivers seat. You are right to be wary...

 

That seems to be my only choice, too. The only thing that sucks is I can't be here every day to get the mail and she always takes it.

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Go to the post office and get a po box. Have the mail forwarded to the box...and as bills are paid...change address to po box. Your dad will have to okay it as bills are in his name.

 

Good idea. I wish I didn't have to do all this. But, it's life.

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Agree with the above. Keep valuables locked in your room, get a PO box, and I will add, stop letting you mom use your car every single day. I would not let an addict use my car with out know where they were going and checking the mileage once they get back. You may be able to get you dad to help with this if you present it in the correct way.

 

"I'm worried. She's been acting like she did when she was on pills. I think it would be in her best interest to not have access to my car. What do you think?"

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