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She texts me a week after she breaks up with me?


stayClimbing

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Hey all,

 

I posted another topic recently in the "Dating" forum. Long story short, girl and I see each other for a month or month and a half, she ends it with me one day because she doesn't think we are "romantically compatible."

 

I follow NC the whole time with strong advice and words of wisdom from people here. Suddenly today she contacts me and wants to know how I'm doing. I'm on a 10 day trip and I suggest we grab lunch when we get back and she is open to that idea.

 

What the **** is going on?? Why did she contact me? I'm confused?

 

It's only been a week too. She contacted me about something I wanted to do... but I wanted to do it with her, not alone. It was volunteering somewhere and she gave me info about it today, knowing that my intentions were for us to do it together. I have no idea..

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stayClimbing, I think that this is your chance to take the advice from the other thread and go with it. She's contacted you because you went NC and gave her the space she probably needed. She is no longer suffocated and with the space you gave her, probably had a chance to step back and remember how much fun you guys were having and how much she likes you.

Take the information, tell her thank you. Wait until you get back off your trip to contact her, make arrangements for the lunch plans and just slip in somewhere "Wouldn't you like to do the volunteer thing as well?" then leave it at that. Do it anyway, even if she doesn't want to anymore. It shows you're not depending on her company in order to do something you'd like.

I hope this goes well, honestly - just remember that space is key. You don't have to spend every single day with each other, give her some time to miss you when you part ways.

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Hi, excuse my ignorance but what does NC stands for?

 

Perhaps she just needed a little time to see if she liked you and now she realize it. Anyways the best way to know is just asking her, get together and talk about it, don't be too upfront but let her know you're confused about it and you want to be clear. If she's contacting it means she still wants to see you, maybe she realized she missed you and just want to be clear wheter she wants to be with you.

 

Do you want her back?

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I absolutely have no idea. All I know is that you guys were all right, I followed your advice and took it all to heart and am still to this day working hard on improving myself. The text from her was a complete shock. The eerily weird thing is, seconds before she texted me I was thinking about what a good time we had together but how excited I was for the future. Life is weird

 

And NC stands for No Contact

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I'm planning on keeping NC. I don't even know if I will contact her when I get back... my thought process was pretty clear to myself. Why try getting back with somebody that doesn't want to be with you? But now this complicates the whole damn thing. This is weird to me, new unexplored territory.

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Yea you have a point and i am not advocating you meet with her or not. That is ur choice alone.

 

But u said u miss her and most likely she misses u.. So y not meet with her for lunch like u mentioned and see if she still feel that you two r incompatible. If she says her mind hasnt changed or she doesn't know, say thanks for lunch. If she say her mind has changed, why would u not want to wrk on ur issues together?

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I'm planning on keeping NC. I don't even know if I will contact her when I get back... my thought process was pretty clear to myself. Why try getting back with somebody that doesn't want to be with you? But now this complicates the whole damn thing. This is weird to me, new unexplored territory.

 

Don't initiate contact with her, not even when you get back from your trip. If she initiates, just tell her you're happy now and not wanting to be friends, so she should take that into account if she wants to spend time with you.

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Why try getting back with somebody that doesn't want to be with you?

 

Good question. I suggest you follow that train of thought.

 

You're stuck in a catch-22 with this girl. She will only feel something for you when you don't want to be with her, when she misses your affection and attention. As soon as you do, her attraction will wane again.

 

IMO, move on and find someone whose feelings match yours for her.

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I've been grappling with this for days. I have no idea what to do. Some days I'm dead set on not texting her, the next day I am rethinking that decision.

 

It's been 1 week since we last spoke and, while there have been some other girls, she's been at the top of my mind. I haven't texted her since she texted me last (regarding getting lunch). I'm thinking of texting her today as it's the olympics and we made plans to watch them together but...

 

1. I'm scared. I don't know how she'll react and I'm afraid of opening up again

2. I just don't know what will happen. It's that fear of getting turned down that's holding me back

 

Does anybody have tips? I've been grappling and fighting with this for so long I need advice. 1 friend tells me forget her, another tells me there's no harm...

 

Thank you

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