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Got caught smoking weed....


MikeAnderson

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So im 16 and ive been blazing for well over a year. My sister came back from university in December and walked in on me blazing in the barn. She immediately told my parents and my relationship with my family has been going downhill. Im extremely pissed off at my sister and havent talked to her since. We used to get along very well... When I think im regaining the trust something new comes up. They have told me that I have a bad choice in friends a lot... Even though they encouraged me hang out with them. Im at the point where I have no clue what to do and im tired of them constantly judging me.

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Well, its not like you did nothing and they judge you. You are only 16 and you smoke for 1 year already. And you smoke weed.

As long as you are underage and you live with your parents - you have to follow some rules. I know that in some states weed is legal, but still, you are just a child, and it is a drug, no matter what you may think. Take responsibility for what you do. Your parents and your older sister have a right to be pissed now, not you.

I think you started smoking because someone else near you smoked or asked you if you want to try, right? That is how it happens in 99% of all cases, you are normally introduced to a drug by someone else. So that is probably the reason why they say you have bad choices with friends.

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You pay the consequences for your behaviour. Smoking an illegal substance and getting caught, what did you think they were going to do? Throw you a parade? Pull out their own weed and share a bowl with you? Of course they no longer trust you, you've been doing drugs and hiding it for a year. You were smoking in a barn. What would have happened if that barn burned down due to your actions?

 

People judge, they do it all the time to everyone, everywhere. Whether those judgements are good or bad, they happen. Whether you like them or not, they happen. You are being just as judgemental towards your parents as you feel they are being towards you. You don't understand their position because, in your opinion, you're not doing anything bad or harmful. You're doing stuff that everyone else is doing and so what? When you're grown up and have children of your own, you will have a completely different outlook on this kind of thing.

 

My advice is, stop smoking weed. You want to regain their trust? Then be trustworthy. Pay attention in school, work on getting better grades. Get a part time job after school to earn some money, save it instead of spending it all. Start thinking ahead to what you want to do for the rest of your life and what college you want to attend and work towards that goal.

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I get being po'd at your sis for ratting you out...for a little while. But to not speak to her for over a month?? That seems like an extreme over reaction for the kind of thing siblings often do to each other.

 

As for the other issue- when parent's catch their kid doing something undesirable, it is common to try to blame the kid's friends (sometimes with good reason). They'd rather believe that you've just fallen in with a bad crowd and this will all be sorted shortly. That is probably while they have gone from encouraging your social outtings to disliking your friends.

 

First, forgive your sister. Apologize to your parents for doing something they don't allow while in their home. When they pick on your friends, calmly tell them a few good things about your buddies and explain THIS is why you chose them as friends. Lastly, realize you won't change their minds or regain their trust in a day.

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Firstly - thanks for posting on here about your situation. Please do stay around and post more. You'll get a variety of opinions and views

 

I'm curious - why do you like smoking weed?

 

I've tried it once/twice in my life, I know its not something that's for me. I know a couple of teenagers who smoke, and have heard answers to why, such as "its relaxing" and "its less bad for you than alcohol". Wearing my hat as a parent and a still-kind-of step-parent, when weed comes up... its heartbreaking and emotive to deal with. Anyway... enough about the parent-type stuff, because you probably had enough of that already.

 

At 16, you're probably not considered an adult properly, but you're not a kid either.

 

Would it be a possibility for you to

- if you continue to smoke a bit... keep it away from home?

- try to repair things with your sister and parents. You may not end up all agreeing totally, but give it a go.

(realistically, haven't all of us as teenagers done stuff our parents wouldn't have agreed with, some of it perhaps not 100% legal, and generally the world doesn't end as a result)

 

Your parents and sister might not be as ok with you growing up, and the weed smoking as I am (or I'm trying to be). That might be something for more conversations, and more conversations on here.

 

Take care

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>>Im extremely pissed off at my sister and havent talked to her since.

 

Well, there's your first clue. If you want to get along, then freezing your sister out isn't the right choice. I know you're angry with her, but you're only 16 and doing drugs and I'm sure she and your parents are concerned about where that is headed. They are also probably worried that your friends are encouraging you to do drugs, and honestly no parent wants their kids to get into drugs at a young age for fear it will not stay recreational but end up being an addiction or putting them into company that gets them deeply involved in the drug culture or injured from associating with those who do.

 

So if you want to right things here, then you first have to acknowledge that what was discovered is traumatic for any parent or sibling and it is not exactly reasonable for them to be OK with you doing drugs. So you have to show them that you are doing fine and not doing drugs, and not treat your sister like she is wrong for being concerned about you and telling your parents. So the sooner you start acting normal/responsible, the sooner this will all pass. You have the rest of your life to do drugs if you'd like, but while you're a minor and in their house and under their responsibility, you had best toe the line if you want things to go well for you.

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