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Feeling hopeful for the future


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So, I feel actually happy and hopeful today. I felt attractive, I looked fantastic. I got a few looks from women, and even started talking to a woman today that seemed to be really enjoying my company. However, I still feel hurt from my break up. I still think about my ex even though my ex does not think of me anymore, I'm sure. She is off with a new guy who replaced me after a month of leaving me. I was so depressed two months ago, I had to deal with emotional trauma that had nothing to do with my ex and my break up on top of that. I believed I was an abusive monster for such a long time. I felt like I was an abusive man, I mean, how could someone raise a hand at their ex like I did? I had to come to terms that I wasn't though, I was undergoing a terrible panic attack that left me barely able to function, and now I realize that I had enough self control even in that state defines me as not an abuser. If anyone say me in that shape, they would know I was not abusive. I was crying and breathing heavy. I was crying because of how I nearly hurt my ex and my own personal trauma.

 

I can now see that I am not abusive, but an emotionally unstable man during that period of my life. I am a great person and a great partner, I am loving beyond belief, and I will make a woman very happy someday. I also need to remind myself that my ex lied to me about her emotional affair throughout the relationship. That is cruel, and what is even worse is that she does not see anything wrong with what she did. Everything is my fault, the entire breakup is due to me in her eyes. I know this is not the case. I know I'm a wonderful human being, and I know now, after months of crying, I know that the future will be beautiful, and I can't wait to see where life takes me. I want to thank everyone who helped me out. Thank you for hearing out my story and giving me great advice.

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