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Girlfriend overstepping her bounds?


pokerfan

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This is all kinds of funny to me.

 

Been friends with this woman for 3+ years. Just starting out a dating relationship.

 

She tells me I'm the boss, that she listens to what I say. Yada, yada. I know it's crap. I'm 51. I'm old enough to know women are always in charge.

 

Anyhow, the other night we were talking and I asked her to write down her name in Chinese. Told her I have been wanting to get a tattoo. She said it was a stupid idea and asked me not to get one.

 

Tonight, she called and we were talking on the phone. She was complaining about a mutual acquaintance - and then said, 'I don't want you to talk to him anymore. Don't be friends with him. He's cheap.'

 

I'm going to broach this after the Chinese New Year/Super Bowl weekend and make sure she realizes I have my own life.

 

I'm literally laughing as I'm typing it. I'm not taking it too seriously - I won't get the tattoo and the acquaintance wasn't exactly someone I liked that much, but ... I'm making my own life decisions.

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If you've just started dating then I think she's totally right not to let you get her name tattooed on you. That's just daft.

 

As for the friend, she can think he's cheap. You don't have to listen to her on that.

 

 

But if you look at a girlfriend has having "bounds" and limits of what she can share with you (even just opinions), then what's even the point of trying to form a relationship?

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Before you get any further involved with her, you need to make it crystal clear to her that she does not pick your friends. The only woman who had permission to do that was your mother and once you achieve the age of majority, that permission has been revoked. Make sure she articulates back to you what you said and that she understands because if you don't nip this mess in the bud right now, she's going to become a fire breathing dragon-woman who will worry you to you grave.

 

Your friend can be as cheap as the day is long: it's none of her damb business if he is. What? Is she trying to get into his wallet or something?

 

And get an I Ching book for inspiration on chinese characters and get one of those. Don't ever tattoo anyone's name on your skin other than your child.

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OK, she has no right telling you who to be friends with … unless this guy is a real bad 'un and she has reason to be concerned.

 

As for getting a tattoo of her name …. Are you serious? You've only just started dating, I would be freaked out too if I were her.

 

She tells me I'm the boss, that she listens to what I say. Yada, yada. I know it's crap. I'm 51. I'm old enough to know women are always in charge.

 

What is this? You should both see each other as equals and treat each other as such. Resentment and drama are already breading.

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I confused - we (meaning Chinese) laugh at Caucasians who get Chinese characters tattooed on themselves. And the friend comment - did you ask her why she felt he was cheap, and what difference it would make in the relationship? I mean, did he say something to her that was really weird or bad to make her not like him? If I know people from Fu Chow or Shaghai, she's not making a demand, it's a statement.

 

I once hung out with a guy for a few days, and he got a tattoo of to commemorate the experience - Um, great...

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I wasn't going to get Chinese characters. I wanted to get her name. I plan on being with her for a long time. We've been friends for 3+ years and we're older. We aren't kids.

 

As for the other friend, my GF is a poker dealer. She relies on tips. This guy is cheap and doesn't tip. It's his right, but it's her right to not like him.

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Soooo you were going to have her name tattooed on you even though you have only just started dating and she doesn't want you talking to some guy you know because he doesn't tip her well?

 

Did you make a typo in your original post? It says you are 51. Did the numbers accidentally get transposed and you're actually 15?

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