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It's been almost three months post BU. About a week ago I got a message from my ex saying "tell your freinds to stop harrasing me. thank you now please never enter my life again thankyou." Yet the night previous I had been bawling my eyes out feeling worthless and going crazy inside my own mind. The day after I recieved that message I was doing the best I ever had since the break up since I felt like I remembered the great parts of him and not the douche that he was. So I was happy and fine but now a week later I feel as if I relapsed and can't stop thinking about him. And I know that he's going to be in town this weekend for his little sisters birthday. And I can't stop thinking about all the memories and what I did wrong and the constant need to contact him just grows and grows over time. HELP

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Wow what a douche. At least you have closure in the sense that this is clearly over. You cannot change the past. You must accept it and learn from it. The negative thoughts that are whirling around in your head are absolute poison, dragging down your energy, causing you tremendous anxiety and attracting more of the same. This is doing you no good. Pay attention to any negative thoughts that come into your head and just squelch them. Refuse entry. Stop thinking about this guy and start imagining your positive future. Think of your positive qualities and focus on the good things in your life. It takes a tremendous amount of discipline and work. There are no easy answers.

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