Do you believe in soul mates or twin flames?

[Cheetarah]

Vic, if you and your husband weren't able to be together for any reason - Would you feel like that was it? Like you'd had your chance and it's gone now? Or do you think you'd move on if/when you felt ready to?

[Seraphim]

Vic, if you and your husband weren't able to be together for any reason - Would you feel like that was it? Like you'd had your chance and it's gone now? Or do you think you'd move on if/when you felt ready to?

 

If he was gone I do not believe I would want another relationship. Now of course I can't say that with 100% certainty, but those have been my feelings for a long time. I would just want to concentrate on myself.

[SpottiOtti]

I believe my boyfriend is a "soulmate". I also believe a couple of boyfriends in the past were soulmates. Doesn't mean they and I were meant to be together though. I also have a couple of friends I would describe as "soulmates". And I agree with Iggles' statement here:

 

It's an excuse for people to define their "it's complicated" mess of a relationship as something fated.

 

I think that the concept is a bit immature and overly romantic, and takes the focus off the fact that most longterm relationships are not sparkly and dramatic all the time, and that love can be shown in small, boring ways, such as bringing your mate coffee in the morning, leaving him the last Lonestar in the fridge, and texting him an "I love you" when you know he'll be having a tough day. Also, at a certain point in every relationship, love is a choice.

[Thorshammer]

Soul-mates are like santa... people believe it so they can have an excuse to get something. thats how i see it.

[browneyedgirl36]

I believe that there are a number of people with whom all of us could be compatible in our lifetimes. The concept of a "twin flame" suggests there's only ONE person out there for us, that that person somehow completes us, and that we are meant to be with that person. I reject all of these notions.

 

I also don't believe in "love at first sight," though I certainly feel we can be drawn to a certain person immediately and it can turn into lasting love, as in Victoria's case with her husband. To me, that's about finding someone with whom we connect almost immediately, but it's not about being "meant to be," necessarily, or there being only "one" out there for all of us.

 

I agree with Iggles' suggestion that the many people use the terms "soul mate" and "twin flame" to justify remaining in unhealthy, toxic relationships -- "But...we're MEANT TO BE! It's our DESTINY to be together." These ideas essentially negate any sort of free will whatsoever and suggest that we don't have choices, another notion I wholeheartedly reject.

 

I think it's easy to trick ourselves into thinking someone was "the one" to avoid moving on or because we feel the need to justify putting up with a ton of crap from someone. There was a poster on here a number of years ago who was involved in a horribly toxic relationship with a guy who treated her TERRIBLY -- I mean, rarely have I read anything that disturbing (mainly because it had been going on so long and was a very lopsided relationship and he was awful to her). She disappeared for a long time and then popped back up again a couple years later (I've been on this site for seven years now -- yikes!) and wrote a post about how he was back in her life (after some of the most awful stuff he'd ever said/done to her) and that he was her "twin flame." People tried to reason with her, but she wasn't hearing any of it. Honestly, reading her posts actually upset me because she not only wasn't willing to let go, but she was rationalizing staying with someone who had profoundly disrespected her. I always wonder what happened to her.

 

That said...I am not cynical about love at all, even if I don't believe in the whole "twin flames" and "the one" ideas. I believe in love; I've seen it. I've felt it. I haven't found the right person for me yet, but I know there is a possibility of finding that. I think, too, that love CAN endure -- people just have to work at it. I think that sometimes people work at it, though, and the other person isn't willing to work at it, and no amount of thinking/saying "he she is my soul mate/twin flame" is going to make that person a good relationship partner.

[shes2smart]

Oh, my, my...soulmates. What a romantic notion. As with most romantic notions it's an idea that generally makes people miserable in this imperfect and flawed world we live in.

 

It keeps people in bad/unhealthy relationships

It adds an incredible amount of unnecessary stress to first dates/first meetings

It makes us overlook people we might find very compatible and quite delightful, but who maybe didn't make a great first impression

It makes us buy into the notion that there's this one magical person, and if you could just find him/her, the rest of your life would miraculously fall into place

 

When you're ready to give up romantic notions and live in this imperfect and flawed reality, then (and ONLY then) will you have a decent shot of meeting someone who you deem compatible enough and attractive enough - to you - to create a lasting relationship with.

 

Happily ever after happens when you're dead. Until then, it's a lot of being presented with opportunities to learn and grow....and that is not always pretty or easy.

[Iggy5129]

Most of these terms are used in conjunction with the belief in reincarnation. You have many soul mates and only one twin flame who is the other half of your soul. You might meet your twin flame in this lifetime but you have not worked through your karma and therefore cannot be together in this incarnation.

 

Friends can be soul mates as can lovers. They all help you work through your karma to reach the ultimate goal of stopping the cycle of rebirth. Believing in soul mates and twin flames is very dependent on believing in reincarnation and past life karma.

[Liraele]

The voice in my head said the same thing, yet I didn't. So if it's successful, it's a soulmate, if it isn't, it's...A failed relationship? Madness?

 

 

 

 

At least the voices are telling you nice things.

[Liraele]

Most of these terms are used in conjunction with the belief in reincarnation. You have many soul mates and only one twin flame who is the other half of your soul. You might meet your twin flame in this lifetime but you have not worked through your karma and therefore cannot be together in this incarnation.

 

Friends can be soul mates as can lovers. They all help you work through your karma to reach the ultimate goal of stopping the cycle of rebirth. Believing in soul mates and twin flames is very dependent on believing in reincarnation and past life karma.

 

I dislike the "twin flame" notion largely due to the fact that it implies that we are incomplete in and of ourselves. My mind/heart/soul whatever adamantly reject that idea.

 

Doesn't mean I'm right... just means that's how I happen to feel.

[JA0371]

Like Victoria....when I met the guy I'm with...it was instantaneous. I'm not sure I thought I would marry him, but I definetely felt like I was being pulled toward him. And after we met, he told me he also was staring at me from way accross the room. I've never had this feeling with anyone else. I must say that it did feel like part of me was discovered....cheesy as that sounds, and had it not happened to me I would probably scoff at it too.

[Unreasonable]

I believe you can hit it off instantly and predict marriage material right away. After my first conversation with my wife (of 20 years) ended, she turned to her coworker and said, "that's the man I'm going to marry."

[Tanzi]

Soul mate is a term used to describe someone you feel you connect with on every level and who are, at that moment in time, the only one you want to be with. That's not to say they will be only ever by your only soul mate. Life has a habit of changing direction and, depending on when paths cross, we can become connected this way with more that one person during our lifetime.

[Blue Spiral]

I may be destroying my cynic cred, here, but I totally believe in it, and have actually experienced it. Unfortunately, it isn't idiot-proof. The connection is powerful enough to help you find the person, and to realize how significant they are, but it isn't powerful enough to stop one of the two parties from screwing it up. Free will, etc.

 

That said, I don't think there's anything mystical or supernatural about it. I chalk it up to the collective unconscious. I think that we're all connected on some weird brain-frequency-level, and we sometimes use that connection to find/understand people.

[Tanzi]

Blue Spiral … I'm lost for words ;-)

[happpybear]

That said, I don't think there's anything mystical or supernatural about it. I chalk it up to the collective unconscious. I think that we're all connected on some weird brain-frequency-level, and we sometimes use that connection to find/understand people.

 

Huh, you know I agree with you on this!

[ALovingKitten]

I have heard tons of stories of love at first sight. Or someone meeting their 'twin flame'...I guess that moment where lightening strikes and you just KNOW you've met 'the one'. I've heard it can happen more than once in a lifetime.

 

Has this happened to anyone before? If so, what was your experience?

 

I feel and felt my ex was my soul mate he didn't believe in soul mates karma, reincarnation... even told me I wasn't christian to believe in any of that.. geesh. But I still feel he was my one and to lose him I feel like my heart has been ripped from me when thinking this is who I should have grown old with.