Thinking about Trying Online Dating Again

[Bigdave117]

I just have them take photos of me while I'm out doing the things I like. I'm big into mountain biking, pool, and backpacking so I have photos of all three of those things in my profile. None of my friends are in the shots though.

 

 

Things I enjoy doing

 

 

Working out

Playing Football

Playing videogames

Am a big foodie

Listening to music

Watching movies

Watching sports

Partying/drinking (all in moderation of course)

Hanging out with my friends in various activities (IE playing with their dogs)

 

 

None of these things I can really show a picture of. It seems like the pics with friends are the safest bets

[missmarple]

A pic of you playing with a dog would be cute.

[NorthDallas40]

Hanging out with my friends in various activities (IE playing with their dogs)

 

Good sign - girls love pics of guys with dogs.

[Bigdave117]

A pic of you playing with a dog would be cute.

 

 

 

Even if it's not mine?

 

 

 

My friend has a beautiful border collie. He's the cutest thing in the world

[deejay74]

A pic of you playing with a dog would be cute.

 

Good sign - girls love pics of guys with dogs.

 

My main pic on OKC is of me holding up my dog and I have a big grin on my face. I did that thing in OKC where your pics are rated, that one got one of the lowest ratings amongst my pics, but then I was told my a couple of female friends to use that as my main pic.

 

*shrugs*

[Bigdave117]

My main pic on OKC is of me holding up my dog and I have a big grin on my face. I did that thing in OKC where your pics are rated, that one got one of the lowest ratings amongst my pics, but then I was told my a couple of female friends to use that as my main pic.

 

*shrugs*

 

 

 

So much for that dog idea I guess

[missmarple]

Even if it's not mine?

 

 

 

My friend has a beautiful border collie. He's the cutest thing in the world

 

It doesn't matter whose dog it is...and border collies are lovely. Do it

[deejay74]

So much for that dog idea I guess

 

i didn't take it down. i kept it up as my main pic. i seem to be doing alright.

 

you seem to shoot down people's suggestions in every thread that you start. that may be your problem. it could come out in your profile. maybe have someone else write it for you if you don't think you can do it yourself.

[DancingFool]

Good sign - girls love pics of guys with dogs.

 

Not when it's clearly gratuitous and you don't actually have a dog. Then you just look like you are trying too hard.

 

I know the OP doesn't want to hear it, but he is attractive enough where he can even get away with the kind of selfie he posted here. Women are not stooopid and can see attractive and a hot bod even in a bad pic.

 

Whatever the turn off, it's in his profile.

[Realitynut]

my avatar is a selfie that i took two years ago! so it can be done without the camera in the picture...lol

 

I'm 180 miles from Chicago...and all the older good-looking men live 'over there'...lol

 

My sis NEVER msg'ed guys first. I asked her if she contacted her future husband first. She said "no, i never contacted anyone!" Crapolla, I'd NEVER get a date that way!

 

Almost all the guys i ended up getting a date with, i contacted first. But MANY just became LONG pen pals and didn't want to meet. One guy for 3 damn months, emailing for hours. Finally i put my foot down and said we had to meet. ummmm...nope.

 

He had no pic of himself, was short and had a lousy job...but he sure did a good job of writing!!! lol

 

I don't know why all you guys want a 'hot' girl. Maybe a NICE girl would be more to your advantage! geez.

[Bigdave117]

Not when it's clearly gratuitous and you don't actually have a dog. Then you just look like you are trying too hard.

 

I am crazy about animals/pets. I just can't get one because I work 50 hours a week

 

If I had a girlfriend who loved animals, I would get a pitbull where we could both help take care of him

 

 

I know the OP doesn't want to hear it, but he is attractive enough where he can even get away with the kind of selfie he posted here. Women are not stooopid and can see attractive and a hot bod even in a bad pic.

 

 

Thank you for the kind words (I guess)?

 

 

If there is something wrong with my profile, it's that I'm just not an extremely entertaining/funny writer. I don't think there's anything in terms of red flags there. I had a few random women on a couple dating sites look at my profile and they said it was fine. They didn't recommend that I change anything

[Bigdave117]

I would like a girl about the same level of attractiveness as myself, a little less or a little more is fine. Obviously I'm more flexible if I really like her as a person

 

 

You seem to be pretty attractive. If I was in the age range you were interested in, I would contact you

[Realitynut]

Then it's just a numbers game. If you are only emailing the really HOT girls...like the upper 2%, then of course you are going to get lots of competition. Especially at 25! Why don't you lower your standards and look at a persons PROFILE and see if HER likes suit YOUR likes....then go with looks second. You can date someone in the upper 30 % can't you? Like a 7 or 8....not just the 9's and 10's....lol

[John John]

lol realitynut, you are hysterical!

[Bigdave117]

Then it's just a numbers game. If you are only emailing the really HOT girls...like the upper 2%, then of course you are going to get lots of competition. Especially at 25! Why don't you lower your standards and look at a persons PROFILE and see if HER likes suit YOUR likes....then go with looks second. You can date someone in the upper 30 % can't you? Like a 7 or 8....not just the 9's and 10's....lol

 

I'm totally fine with a 7 or an 8 and I couldn't agree more with you about personality/character/similar hobbies. That's equally important

 

 

I don't know what it is but there are lots and lots of attractive people here around my age group. I look up both guys and girls for sh*ts and giggles (no, I'm not bisexual) and there are lots and lots of good looking people here

 

 

BTW you live about 140 miles away from me. Small world, LOL

[Realitynut]

lol...i understand on the same level. That's how i feel about it too! Exactly.

 

I'm in my late 50's....REALLY LATE...just had a birthday!!!!! ugh

 

But you see....I've found that women in general keep themselves up better after hitting that 50 mark. Either with makeup or coloring their hair (or even HAVING hair). And the men that messaged me just didn't 'do' it for me. They looked like my DAD!!! (just before he died.....sheesh!)

 

So anyway....my biggest attraction? A great smile! I msged a guy once. He was chubby and lived an hour away. He wrote back....'didn't you look at my pic???" lol I said i liked his smile!

 

We met. We drank. I laughed til i cried.

 

But he kissed like crap...or at least i thought so. To hard...broke my neck...anyway...back to you. Anyway, i never saw him again because of the way he kissed. But i still thought he was fun......!!

[Realitynut]

I've looked up the women too...just to see my competition! And CRAP...they all look so GOOD. (compared to the old men...!)

 

Too bad i don't swing that way!!!! lol

[morrowrd]

Be very careful of the paid sites, like zoosk for instance. They want you to use your credit card but read the fine print. There is a "one time service fee" of $75 in addition to the regular monthly payment. Then...you are automatically billed on your credit card each month. Closing the account at the paid sites is tricky too. Stick with the free sites.

 

And, the dating sites while they appear to be mostly male, they really aren't. Most statistics point to there being a pretty near 50/50 gender dynamic. The problem is the women get hundreds of emails or messages, while the men get "much" less. A word of advice: put up a nice clean fully clothed picture of yourself, and then take some time to write out a nice essay. Be yourself, be honest, talk about the things you like to do. And the most important part, be patient. Allow some time for women to contact YOU. The dating sites are so full of game players, most of the women I met while I used the site told me that most of the men who contacted them were married or lied about their relationship status and were looking for hook ups. So it is honestly in my opinion, more of a challenge to be a woman on those sites, than a man. They have the responsibility of sifting through the game players, and if you're a good man, you will be found. Patience.

[ecaryn]

What you are lacking is perseverance and real motivation. You have a long list of everything you think is working for you, some women will find you attractive, you already understand the concept of good pictures and a relevant, non-cookie-cutter profile so what's the problem?

 

It's your attitude. All of your threads on here are laced with negativity, inflexibility and a hastiness to give up on something that you think isn't going the way you think it should. I know you keep saying otherwise, but that's the reality of it.

 

I would hope, however, that your new found willingness to try online dating again is an indication of a new approach to your romantic life and dating attitude. The key will be to remain realistic and positive about it and to PERSEVERE. Stop giving up so quickly.

 

I think the best analogy you've been given (and it IS a cliche for a reason) is the fishing one. You throw out your best bait, move around a bit, tease the line a little...and WAIT. And most fisherman will tell you it's not always about the catch, but sometimes just the enjoyment of the fishing. That's how you should approach dating in general. Just get out there and do it, stick with it and try to enjoy the process.

[pippy longstocking]

I'm in my late 50's....REALLY LATE...just had a birthday!!!!! ugh

 

hell girl you look good

[Bigdave117]

You're really in your late 50s? Picture looks much younger than that

 

 

And yea, being a bad kisser sucks. I love kissing

[John John]

You're really in your late 50s? Picture looks much younger than that

 

 

 

I agree, realitynut does look a lot younger than that.

 

I am 29, but when I'm clean shaven, people think I'm 23-24. Not so much in my avatar pic (which I think looks about my age), but in my profile pic here...hopefully having a "baby face" will be of value as the dating game starts to swing in MY favor as I approach my 30s!

[Thorshammer]

I was running dry online and i asked a friend (notagoodninja) to look at my profile. She picked pics of me that didnt make me look like a playa (because apparently my eyes and face screams playa), i changed up something i wrote where i like horror movies and i like to visit creepy places (because women online love to judge apparently), and i change the age requirement to higher because she said women will judge if i start at 18 (thats the default anyway). Over the weekend my inbox exploded.

 

And yes, the really super hot-women get their inbox flooded that they think they can wait for brad pitt. They wont settle for less if each time your little message is drowned by 80 others, you need to stand out from those who stand out that she will look up your message through 80 others. But, too bad the brad pitts are looking for angelina jolie, and everything after her is just few a few nights.

 

I notice the super hot-women i need to keep messaging because they "forget". While those just above average that i click with are on top of my messages. I dated a super hotwoman whos inbox recieved 100 messages a day or more - and i had to keep messaging her even when she ignored most, eventually i got her number (she squeezed me in when her brad pitt let her down), i charmed her on the phone so much she went gaga (im actually a very funny guy and good with my words), she liked my look, and we dated. The relationship wasnt worth it... but the sex was wooooooooooooooo woooooooooooooooo wooooooooooooooooooooo

[Bigdave117]

Super hot isn't necessary, just somebody moderately attractive is good enough. Most of the women I see near my age group around here look pretty good

[John John]

Yes, all very true, and an extension of what I've been saying. And yeah, Thors, women do love to judge online. I had a few dates with a really hot brunette this past fall who told me she almost didnt go out with me because I mentioned I had a cat. LOL all I said was that I had recently rescued a kitten...I thought girls liked animals and cute kittehs?

 

That's why I hoping things turn around as women get a bit older. I target women a few years older than me for that purpose...you can take advantage of the fact that their clocks are juuuuust starting to tick!

 

Just today, I got a message back (and a wink!) from really hot chick that I had messaged like 3 weeks ago...she must have just gotten down to my email now haha. I re-read her profile, and she sounds like a primadonna, so I don't think I'm gonna respond.