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Weird dreams - What do they mean?


ForeverFree81

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So anyone who has been reading/following my posts will know I have had a few relationship issues in the past 12 months. I posted a thread here late last year about meeting someone new really soon after being dumped by my ex. A few things have happened since then:

 

Firstly, the new guy: So I heeded the advice given to me about not rushing into anything with someone new, taking my time getting to know him, etc. I was advised to not start anything with this man for at least 3 months, and I have stuck to that. I kept dates at a minimum and never referred to them as "dates". We mixed together in the same circles, and had kept a safe distance. We have been talking seriously the last couple of days and have decided to become a couple. I know a few people wont approve or whatever, but I am doing the right thing by myself, or at least what feels right. I tried really hard to push him away. He didnt push me for anything, all he did was treat me with kindness and respect. Given what I have been through, and the lack of kindness, respect and empathy I have been shown by the men of my past, I figured that continuing to try and push him away was a silly thing to do. I felt that I owed him a chance, so I am giving him one. It might go awfully wrong, but it could be right too, so please dont judge, I guess just wait and see?

 

Secondly, my ex came back.. The one who dumped me in a text message after not speaking to me for 2 weeks, telling me he had feelings for his ex, and one of my girlfriends, and me, and some other chick he went to school with, and who knows who else? Yeah well I got a lovely text message from him. He told me how gorgeous he thinks I am, and how much he wanted to catch up, how he missed me and wanted to know how I was. It made me feel physically sick, he was hardly like that when we were together, and after all he has done, I am not about to take him back. I respectfully answered his questions before telling him politely to please stay out of my life. I havent heard from him since, so hears to hoping I never hear from him again.

 

Finally, the weird dream thing:

 

So the last few weeks, I have been having this weird re-occurring dream. I have it maybe once a week? It contains 'mini- episodes' of my 4 serious relationships. Keep in mind, all the men in my past have hurt me. I have been beaten up, cheated on, lied to, manipulated and used by my past boyfriends. Each 'mini episode' shows an interaction with each of my exs. The first ex cheated on me, and in my dream, he comes back, tries to apologise and tells me he regrets what he has done. My second ex was violent and abusive. In his part of the dream, he is sweet and kind, we spend time with his family and he treats me like a queen, he tells me hes sorry, and that hes changed, that he never should have treated me the way he did and that he feels like he has lost his the love of his life/soulmate/best friend. My third ex dumped me in a text due to family issues. In his part of the dream, he cuddles me and tells me how he feels, and that he doesnt want to lose me. My fourth and most recent ex appears in what is probably the most confronting of the dreams. He is holding his children and crying, begging me to come back, saying almost word for word what he said in the text messages. His mum and boss are also there, they are upset and beg me to give him a second chance, telling me he has changed and that he wants me back to help him raise his children.

 

PLEASE NOTE: I have NO FEELINGS for any of my exs; no, not even little ones, not even feelings of anger/hate/spite/jealousy, etc. I literally feel nothing for them, they are like strangers to me, I desire no contact or relationship with them, and I keep it that way, I am NOT FRIENDS with any of my exs.

 

I know this probably seems like a whole lot of crazy, and I dont even know if I really have a question or not, I just feel better having writte down all the weird dream stuff. I wake up feeling confused as the men in my dreams are the exact opposite of who they are in real life, however at one point, the way they are represented in my dreams is how I wished they were to me; sweet, loving, caring, honest and appreciative of me and what I have to offer.

 

Things with my new boyfriend couldnt be better, I want for nothing, he is so supportive and kind, I sometimes wonder how I got so lucky. He really treasures me, and I am so glad I didnt just disregard him. Please dont judge me for this, for anyone who has read my previous posts. I know I must sound really dumb, or like I am a sucker for punishment, or that I just dont learn, but I am trying really hard!

 

Thanks to anyone who read that, if you have any advice/thoughts/stories of your own, please, please share them!

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to me this one is not hard to figure out, i am very into dreams and meanings and the way i see all of those is you dealing with the past, letting go of old feelings of anger, hurt, regret and all that, in order to move forward with the current man, and not be held back by the past still haunting you...

that is my take...

good luck with new man!!

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I think sometimes our dreams can be subconscious ways that our minds use to work out feelings and/or to give ourselves a mental reset on something. That's actually how I interpret these dreams. You quite possibly are feeling scared of love at this point, even if it's just deep down. Your mind is trying to show you that things could have gone another way if you'd chosen wisely and that love is still possible. Also that the characteristics of the new man are what is actually good for you, that it's what can be if you will let it.

 

That's my interpretation anyways. The new guy is stirring up feelings and your purging and letting go of old ones. And yes, you are learning about healthy love and your subconscious seems like it's trying to tell you loud and clear, "This is how it all should have been with these other guys to begin with, pay attention, that is what you deserve and want." In short these dreams are healthy, so take your cues from them. Instead of accepting abuse, accept someone who treats you like a queen and wants you in their life. Listen to what the dreams are telling you.

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Thankyou both for your advice. I am really glad I asked, because I was thinking it was some terrible subconscious things that made me wonder whether or not I was doing the right thing for myself or the exs, not that I care about what they think of my life choices. What you said has made a lot of sense to me. Last week, I decided to write a letter to each of my exs forgiving them for what they had done to me. I didt give it to them, I just wrote it and burnt it, but I felt so much better after letting go of the hurt. Maybe these dreams are part of the process? I am so happy with my new guy, and he helps me through all of this. I am really lucky.

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