Jump to content

Was OK....now feeling sad again


Kam2014

Recommended Posts

Hi all, I wrote here a few weeks ago and I'm just venting. I wasn't doing well at the time but over the last couple of weeks had few more good days. But yesterday and today I just feel so sad and lonely again. I actually just want to keep crying. I'm hoping this will pass again but I never thought a break-up could hurt so much (in fact it never has before! Normally, I'm not bothered but maybe I'm getting more emotional as I get older!). The annoying things is I do all the things I always have (I have always been a busy person: working at a place I love, socialing with friends, gym etc) but I feel like a part of me is missing - my mind is not 100% there and my heart just aches. I just want me to feel happy again and not lost.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dont have a lot of experience with breakups but I think these 'setbacks' are really normal. You said you had some good days the last few weeks so you are doing good. Cant expect you just wake up one day feeling all happy again. It will come back in little steps, and more often it goes 'two steps forward, one step backward'. Doesn't matter, as long as you keep goin. So keep going and let time cover your wounds.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks Lucha. I know I am trying. I feel like I have this pressue telling me that I need to get out there and start dating again (its hard seeing all my my friends in relationships/engaged etc) but in a way I just want time on my own.

 

Also, as an update: I met my ex last week (his choice) and we talked things through. He said he knew that he broke things off suddenly and he was sorry for it. He 'chickend' out when we started to get really close. I normally wouldn't believe anyone but I actually think he was being sincere. He is scared of committment and love. I told him it is his loss as it could have potentially been something special if he had been willing to take a chance. The best bit was his brother (11 years his junior) telling him he has f'ed up for letting me go.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds like this new wave of sadness might be the backlash from having met up with your ex last week.

 

It's going to be a setback for you anytime you have contact with him. It's much better to make a clean break and disappear from his world and make him disappear from yours -- online and off. For a few months at least, until you've had more time to recover.

 

Here's a guide that will help you: link removed

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds like this new wave of sadness might be the backlash from having met up with your ex last week.

 

It's going to be a setback for you anytime you have contact with him. It's much better to make a clean break and disappear from his world and make him disappear from yours -- online and off. For a few months at least, until you've had more time to recover.

 

Here's a guide that will help you: link removed

 

I did read the recovery guide and am trying my best. At first I was OK but in these last few days the intensity of missing this guy has gone sky high that I just feel like my head is gonig to burst and I can't stop crying (feel like an idiot!). I haven't contacted him and vice versa.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't beat yourself up. You're doing fine. These rounds of sadness are just bound to happen, especially if you remain in contact i'm afraid.. But try to see things in perspective, you're feeling awful now and maybe another week or so and then on you go to the next stage (which can be anger, denial, acceptance or anything in between really). You'll get there. Hang in there!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I would feel blue about my break up with my ex, I would focus on all the reasons we weren't together. I would think about how financially irresponsible he was and how we would never be able to buy a house because he was in so much debt. I would think about the way he made me feel when we fought...and how often we fought.

 

And I would think...about how I thought he was my "the one"...but he's not. So that just means the guy that is going to be my "the one" is going to be pretty freaking awesome. Be patient.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel your pain, and have been there (oh wait, I'm currently there myself haha) but some advice that has always helped me is this:

 

Think about your other exs, how you felt you wouldn't get over it and eventually you did. You moved on to someone else. Perhaps that next relationship didn't work out, but you will move on from it. Five years from now this person will have been someone from your past, and it won't have mattered to you at all.

 

I went through a horrrrrrible breakup. This guy was my first everything (we were together for 4 years), we went through a lot (a major car accident I almost didn't survive which he was the driver) and I thought I would NEVER get over him, considering he left some permanent scars on me, but I did. I still think about him time to time, but I feel nothing at all toward him. And you'll feel nothing at all towards this guy with time. Trust me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you went through so much. And I'm so glad that you were able to get over such a terrible time. The funny thing is I never have felt this way after other breakups. i do think I will eventually get over him but I just was not ready for it to end out of the blue and with such reasons. But at the moment I feel like I'm missing a part of me and I don't help myself when I get lost in my thoughts wondering what he is doing, is he thinking of me, is he with someone else etc....I know it is none of my business but my mind just does into overdrive! That is what I really am trying to stop.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...