Jump to content

Open Club  ·  45 members

Off Topic

How about a little humour?


Aaron Hodges

Recommended Posts

This forum is an amazing place, and I think its been very helpful for me. But I've also noticed there can be a lot of negativity, which I guess is to be expected when you put a whole bunch of hurting people in the same room! I know I'm hurting, I'm heart broken, and there are times when I don't know how I go on.

 

But right now, you know what, I think we could all use a bit of humour. I want to play a game. In the words of Mathew Perry ( ) we all love to compete!

 

So maybe if people are up to it, we can decide who has the worst sob story. I realise a lot of people won't be up to it. So if you think you're still hurting too much, don't post. I don't want anyone getting more hurt than what our ex's have already done to us!

 

But if we're ready to have a bit of a laugh at ourselves, here are the rules:

- 1 story per post

- Explain your story in no more than 4 sentences.

 

When we've had a few stories we can try and work out some sort of voting.

 

I may be a little tipsy, so please I hope everyone takes this as a bit of fun.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 52
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Do I get bonus points for greentext?

 

> Be 16, with first gf, about to tear up our VCards.

> Trying to open plastic-wrapped box of rubbers, since I didn't have the forethought to remove it beforehand.

> Girlfriend leans in to "help" just as the wrapper gives way, copping a massive backhand in the process.

> One week before she's in the mood to give it a second shot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think anyone will want to demean their hurt as a "sob story" and certainly not in 4 sentences? I will instead post something that happened that made me actually laugh from the heart which I haven't done in months

 

 

Every Sunday me and my siblings go for dinner round our dads. As I'm nearly home I've left my coffee jar there, so I turn back and ring me sister and tell her to bring it out to me

 

As I pull up and beep, she comes to the door looking confused holding two mugs of probably cold by now coffee and shouts "which ones yours???!"

 

I was nearly in tears I reply "do you really think I came back to finish my drink??!! My jar of coffee you muppet!!"

 

It's not a sob story and probably not as funny as you think but I haven't laughed in months and that was the first time It wasn't forced or pretend and it really made my day

 

Just post something that made you smile

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Worst day of my life:

 

> Lost close friend to bad car accident and am crying my eyes out as I drive home, getting pulled over by a cop in the process who thinks I'm drunk.

> Go home to a cold empty house, since my ex-husband has the kids, and my most recent boyfriend has just been caught cheating and bounced out of my life.

> Get a call from my boss reaming me out for forgetting a small detail in a report and yes, she knows my friend just died. Not so much as a sorry for your loss.

> Sitting at computer trying to numb the pain with tequila when I get an email from an old friend, "I have a ranch in New Mexico, it's a mess, no one wants it. You interested?"

 

So my worst day became my best, because I bought that ranch, tossed my toxic boss and coworkers into the trash along with the toxic ex and moved my family to the sticks. It was the best thing I've ever done for all of us.

 

And I am going to have to watch that movie!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

After a full day at a wine tasting event, we were waiting at a restaurant for the train to come.

 

Went outside for a breath of fresh air, and passed an absurd mural of "jungle" motif in the foyer.

 

Started a riff on Daktari, Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom and Disney movies where an animal gets killed.

We were laughing so hard we had to lean against each other.

 

People on the way in were concerned for our mental health.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ummmm....Finally got married at age 32, married 20 years....no sex for 15, and hardly any before.

Got order of protection against him and met ex bf the end of that month.

Love of my life and traveled 4 hours ALL the time to see him and then lived with him.

3 years later, the week he proposed to me, he met someone else.

 

Yep, that about sums up my life!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At the airport, about to board my flight to Italy to meet with the girl (of my dreams) and bring her back home with me

Remember every last detail of travel planning except one minor: the visa which I neglected to organise

Call the after-hours Italian consulate number and beg for an emergency visa using romantic sentiments of future marriage and children with this girl and... it works!

Arrive in Italy, take the girl in my arms and she says...I feel nothing for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Long distance relationship w/ college bf. Summer of 2nd year I decide to fly out and surprise him(had gone out previous summer). His roommate says " ummmm....not sure of his schedule. You should talk to him".

 

Turns out he was seeing someone else. And she was pregnant.

 

Kicker ending: they married before birth of child. And are still married 25 years later.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At the airport, about to board my flight to Italy to meet with the girl (of my dreams) and bring her back home with me

Remember every last detail of travel planning except one minor: the visa which I neglected to organise

Call the after-hours Italian consulate number and beg for an emergency visa using romantic sentiments of future marriage and children with this girl and... it works!

Arrive in Italy, take the girl in my arms and she says...I feel nothing for you.

 

Ouch! That cannot have been fun!

 

Forgot to post my story.

 

We were together for three years, living together for over a year.

We were happy until she started practising her acrobatics alone with another guy.

This lead to her starting an emotional affair with that guy.

She eventually decides to leave me, and runs away to the circus with her new guy...

 

I know we're all hurting. But sometimes you just have to look back and laugh, because the only other option is to cry.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was sleeping over at an exes and I had pjs over at his place and a o/n backpack with things in it and went to his bathroom to wash my face, brush teeth before bed.

Came back in to his bedroom only to see him in my hello kitty sleep jammies which was short on him and he was doing these sexy dance moves for me.

I stood watching like are you doing and to add to it he tucked his penis and was pretending to be me.

He thought it was sexy as hell and funny and I was like no no no ... it was an image I couldn't shake later on. Not as sexy as he thought.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One time, I got really really drunk at my boy's place out in the Hamptons. He used to be in the Coast Guard, so we'd get into all the clubs for free (and VIP too, complete with models and bottles).

 

During the after party, we kept drinking at my friend's place. Mind you, the owner of the home was drinking with us, and he was 6'9" (no joke) and about 300 lbs. My buddy went to bed with his gf, and a few of us stayed up drinking. I passed out upstairs afterwards, and the room began to spin. I sat up like Linda Blair in the Exorcist, and projectile vomited right into a brand new drawer. I got it all over myself too. I stripped and threw my shirt and boxers out the window (which were hanging on the phone line the morning after). I took the drawer out of the shelf, thinking I would clean it so the home owner wouldn't squash me. I took it into the shower, and passed out hugging the drawer while the water ran. My buddy found me about 20 minutes later because he heard "a commotion" upstairs.

 

Ah...summer of 2005...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LMAO, wow love it!!! The bolded part made me spit-up some water just now

 

ok, so I was going to write a serious sob story--but the above post inspired me to write a funnier sob story.

 

The day I turned 19. In my country 19 is legal drinking age, and I was not a drinker. I was in university at the time and my friends took me out for my B-day. I drank beer, mixed drinks, shots, you name it, I couldn't say no to the drinks they were buying me and I totally succumbed to peer pressure.

 

Then my friend bought me this shot named "The Rocky Mountain Bear ". I don't know what was in it, but it made my tongue go numb. Things started to go downhill really quickly after that shot. I started puking in my hair, my friends threw me into a cab and I puked all over the floor while singing (a Capella) the song "Otherside" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

 

My friends got me back to the dorm and slept in my room with me and apparently I puked every half hour for 12 hours. When I finally woke up I was raw and fragile, I had to *crawl* to the bathroom and * in the shower because I couldn't stand.

 

I don't remember anything that happened after the Rocky Mountain Bear . For awhile, that was my nickname

 

But a few years later, I ran into the cabbie (it was a small town) he was *still* pissed about how I had ruined his cab and told me that it took him days to get the puke smell out of his car. I ended up writing him a check because I felt so bad that I had messed-up his cab so badly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL, nicely done Sexybear! It's nice to see I'm not the only one who did bad things when drunk, back in the day! I also have very little recollection of the MCJD/drawer incident. "By the way" (every pun intended), I'm a huge Chili Peppers fan. Two of my pics on my Match profile are me rocking a Chili Peppers tour t-shirt. I used to use one of those pics as my profile pic on here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hell yeah man!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL, nicely done Sexybear! It's nice to see I'm not the only one who did bad things when drunk, back in the day! I also have very little recollection of the MCJD/drawer incident. "By the way" (every pun intended), I'm a huge Chili Peppers fan. Two of my pics on my Match profile are me rocking a Chili Peppers tour t-shirt. I used to use one of those pics as my profile pic on here.

 

Oh the drunken shenanigans!! Nice choice in music, Dreamy! Chili Peppers are indeed an excellent band, though I only have Californication. I love the bass lines in their songs

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...