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Does my GF not respect me?


lovetobrew

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I love my girlfriend to pieces but at times I feel like she is incredibly childish and does not respect my feelings. We have been together for almost a year and I think there are some issues we need to resolve. Or am I just overreacting? See below...

 

Before we dated, she dated a guy for 3 months and slept with him casually for a month after. During Christmas, we travelled together to the city where both our families live. I found out that during Christmas holidays she said she was going shopping with a friend. It ends up it was this guy. . She also went for tea at his house, which is only a couple of blocks from my parent's house while I was hanging around with my family. I told her how this made me uncomfortable that she didnt tell me about her plans to meet him or invite me and she was distant to me the rest of the day. I also discovered that they text constantly. I am confident that she wants nothing to do with him. The two of us broke up for two weeks and her ex said the two of us should get back together, so we did. (we broke up because she wanted to work abroad for over a year. I told her this made me upset and she broke up with me for two weeks) She has also invited him to her birthday party. I will be there and will get to meet him. She did not ask me if I was comfortable with him being there. I have no problem if they are friends, but they just seem too close. He is single and just broke up with a girl. He lives far away, though. She said she is with me for a reason and not with him, but it still is off-putting. Am I being a baby about this?

 

She lives an hour and a half away from me so we only can spend weekends together. She is a substitute teacher and does not make a lot of money. She has had opportunities to work full time in the town I live in, but refuses to apply for any of the jobs in my town. I thought she would like to live in the same town as me, and was disappointed that she wouldn't.

 

 

 

Also, we have been planning an expensive international vacation together. Originally we had planned to go in the spring, but I only had a week of work and would only be able to spend 5 days. Also, the weather wold not be nearly as nice. she wanted to go, but said she would stay longer after I would have to head home. I told her that this made me very uncomfortable because I have never traveled internationally and would want her to help me on the trip. I am helping her by paying an extra $500 for the trip. I am offended I would have to pay more and she goes longer than me. She wanted me to take days off, but I said I could not guarantee that, and I suggested we move it to summer when it is easier without the time constraint. We both do not work in the summer (teachers), but she is unemployed at that time and is concerned about her finances. I said I would still help her financially, though. Come this week and we are planning our summer trip. She freaks out and realizes it is more expensive than we thought. I suggest we go somewhere else. She demands that we go this spring instead. She says she has compromised so much by bringing me on the trip and working around my schedule that I should do this when she wants. She also threatened to go without me. I just feel like she is bullying me. I told her I felt she is being selfish and manipulative and she stopped talking to me for a whole day. She wants to book airline tickets tomorrow and I feel so uncomfortable. Whenever she gets frustrated when we discuss this, she stops talking to me and it crushes me. I feel like she is threatening me with this, ad using it to control me. Am I an idiot?

 

I suggested that we go next year, but she has now revealed to me she wants to teach in eastern Europe for 4 months?!?!?!?! in 2015 and wants to save for that (We live in Canada)

 

I don't know what to do and I feel so upset If we get married, will the rest of my life be like this? If we have children, would she treat them this way?

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Hold on there buddy, you cannot arrange a simple trip with this girl yet you are thinking of marriage and children?

 

First things first, her being a friend with a previous sex buddy of hers? I mean, really ?

If he was a person she was with for years and she loved him as a human being, then maybe it could work.

But they dated for a very short time and they kept meeting even after they broke up.

 

You seem like a really responsible guy, working full time, arranging trips and offering to support her in order to come with you, thinking of marriage. What about her?

 

She looks not as mature and responsible as you and probably has different priorities in her like from you.

 

Also, inviting him on her birthday party ? Is he that important to her? And not even asking you if you are ok with that ?

 

To answer your title question, I think she does not bro.

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It sounds like you two are on completely different tracks. You are chugging away with the marriage, the kids and white picket fence. She is not there and not interested. She wants to travel, is not working full time, wants to go teach outside of the country and basically live a different kind of life and have different kind of experiences before she is ready to settle down if she ever will be ready. You are basically holding each other back from your goals in life. She is not looking to move to your town and be serious, you are flipping out that she wants to live abroad. You both need to let each other go. Also, when planning a simple trip is that much trouble, marriage shouldn't even be entering your thoughts, at least not with her.

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