Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I was with a man for around two months... & a few days ago I ended the relationship. I am depressed, struggling with University & my Mother recently became ill. I stopped feeling the same for him (probably due to the recent stresses) and he had begun to frustrate/irritate me.. So I decided to end things.

Since then, he hasn't stopped telling me how much I've hurt him, and that his life is now "worthless"; despite me telling him that he's being silly. I know it's hard for him, but I do know things will get better eventually and he will find someone else...

However, it's got to the point where he decided to tell me about some childhood abuse he experienced, and earlier today he went to the extremes of sending me a picture of his leg which he has cut with a razorblade several times. I guess it's his way of expressing his hurt.

I've tried to comfort him, and tell him he needs to see a GP to get help.. But he refuses. I've even suggested forums, or seeing his family/friends.. But he just says "no".

I don't know what to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You need to stop contacting him and responding to him.

He is emotionally immature and trying to manipulate you.

It is quite pathetic.

Do not be sucked back....at this point, he will do anything to get you to respond.

You are not responsible for his emotional well being.

You have enough stress. Don't let him add to it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am worried if I do stop responding.. He may end up doing something worse?

I'm not sure I could forgive myself if that happened.

 

But I do understand that in some way or another it needs to stop. I can't handle it any more.

I don't think he understands the impact it has on me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've tried to comfort him, and tell him he needs to see a GP to get help.. But he refuses. I've even suggested forums, or seeing his family/friends.. But he just says "no".

 

this might sound cruel , but noone can help a person when they respond with that ^^^

 

he is abusing himself , he has issues to iron out and at some point in his life he will have to make a decision to free himself from his demons or keep feeding them .....until that day there is not a thing anyone can do .

 

I believe he is using his sadness and stories from his childhood to gain your sympathy to take him back . He is lost in his own world right now and probably doesn't realise how manipulative he is been ..and also how desperate ..but there is still nothing you can do and for as long as you keep making the suggestions you are feeding him , and he is believing that he is reeling you back even if it is with his problems ...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You need to stop responding to him. Please please block him from everything. This guy is totally psycho and not your problem. You have enough to deal with and he knows you are a sucker who will feel bad and try to fix him. It's called emotional manipulation. Just block him - phone, e-mails, any social media, tell your friends and even warn your work place if you have a job that this psycho might attempt something. People will help you and protect you when they know what the problem is - him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am worried if I do stop responding.. He may end up doing something worse?

I'm not sure I could forgive myself if that happened.

 

But I do understand that in some way or another it needs to stop. I can't handle it any more.

I don't think he understands the impact it has on me.

 

can you see how you have been reeled into the world of mental health and are now living in fear of what this man will do to himself ..he has managed life thus far and your imput has only been for two months ...does that make you obliged to feel this bad ?

 

he is not going to do anything to himself ..in the 1% chance that he will ..it still isn't your problem ..we choose what we do to ourselves ..we choose when to address it and we choose how we treat people . As sorry as I am for him , he isn't treating you very well is he .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What he does to himself is HIS responsibility, not yours.

 

You're not his wife, mother, sister, mentor, teacher, or guardian. You're a woman he dated for two months.

 

So stop responding to him or else he will simply be encouraged to continue his needy, abusive, and selfish behavior.

 

Ignore, delete, and block.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am worried if I do stop responding.. He may end up doing something worse?

I'm not sure I could forgive myself if that happened.

 

But I do understand that in some way or another it needs to stop. I can't handle it any more.

I don't think he understands the impact it has on me.

 

As already been said, he has survived just fine without you for all these years and you've only known each other for two months. You are not that special of a human that he now truly can't do without. What he is doing is emotional blackmail - because he can and because you are falling for it. Block him and delete him from your life. This will stop ONLY when you firmly put a stop to it. For as long as you keep talking to him, he knows he can keep messing about with you and will continue it. You can't help a psycho. Only a professional psychiatrist can, and even so, only if the guy wants to be helped. That is the guy's decision and NOTHING that you do or say will ever help him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Stop all contact immediately. This guy has serious emotional issues and is being extremely manipulative. Sending you a picture of him cutting on himself is not him being so torn up that you've broken things off, it's a blatant attempt to make you feel guilty and to manipulate you into taking him back. Worse it speaks of possible abusive behaviors in the future since that's not normal behavior, not even close. It's extremely controlling behavior. You've already advised him to see a therapist and so forth and he refused, so help isn't what he wants. He wants your pity, he wants your guilt, he wants to own you and upset you, because in his head that's how he can control you. Do you not see how insane this guy is acting?

 

You didn't ruin his life, you didn't do anything but date him for two months. If you respond with sympathy and kindness, if you scream at him, if you do anything but block and delete him and go get a restraining order if he won't stay away then you are actually feeding into the situation. He's not wounded, he's a world class manipulator.

 

And yes, he totally knows the effect he's having on you and he is loving every minute of it. Go talk to some of his exes if you doubt what we're all telling you here. I'm pretty sure you'll be shocked to find what he's done to others and how vicious he can be, because doing what he just did was very calculated to make you feel as bad as possible. And it's just the tip of the iceberg. I've been around enough abusers to see that the whole, "Oh pity me, see how absolutely harmless and pathetic I am, how much you've hurt me" is sort of the human equivalent of a crocodile hiding in the water posing as a log.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...